Woody Paige: It's 'Kap' time for the Colorado Rockies (2024)

Bring back the baseball “Kap”; bye, bye, Bud Black.

The Rockies must make a bold managerial maneuver. Dick Monfort never will fire himself as owner, CEO and Kris Bryant fanboy and definitely won’t get rid of sycophant general manager Bill Schmidt. He has to sack Black.

Everybody’s favorite Buddy just won his 500th game in the eighth season with the Rockies. He also lost his 600th game. “I like round numbers. I love math,’’ Black said. Then he lost No. 601.

After Friday night’s setback to the Pirates, aaargh, the Hard Rox Life was on pace to break 2023’s franchise record of 103 failures by three more in this pathetic season.

The Rockies could hire a replacement who won 107 games in 2021.

It’s mile high time in the national pastime for the Bud Dud to end now. The Dodgers are coming to town for the first time on Monday.

Black is supposed to be guru of pitcheroo, but the Rockies again are dead and last with a 5.48 earned-run average (and .61 above the White Sux) and 30th in whip (1.53), hits allowed (680), strikeouts accumulated (447) and batting average against (.285).

The television toadies claim Buddy’s not to be blamed, so who is? The team doctors for letting too many starters and relievers suffer injuries, the owner for annually moaning he cannot keep up financially with the Dodgers, or Zeus, the god of throwing thunderbolts?

Schmidt happens.

Black is a pleasant fellow and a baseball historian as a former pitcher, but in 16 previous seasons of managing, all in the National League West with the Padres and the Rockies, he hasn’t finished first in the division once, has experienced 12 below .500 records and reached the playoffs only twice – with the Rockies in 2017-2018, failing in three of four games? He did get to the postseason twice with the Royals and lost three of four games he pitched in -- two in the World Series.

Black turns 67 on June 30. In a rare interview with a lackey prior to the beginning of the season, Monfort, who has given Black a couple one-year extensions, stated that he has discussed a new contract for next season with Black, but couldn’t understand why he still wants to do the job. Since Dick Monfort is more loyal than Jack Russell – the breed of dog, not the actor – he should provide Black with a special assistant to the GM role like Clint Hurdle, another former Rockies manager and ex-Kansas City player. Both lead the franchise in victories and defeats.

Six of Black’s pitchers were incinerated by the Twins for 24 hits and 17 runs Wednesday. The Rox were torched for 25 runs by the Angels last June 24 at home. Guess who’s coming to Denver – Shohei Ohtani.

Good news for Monfort is that the Coors Field Dynamite Dumpster will be full for four days. And a few patrons even will be cheering for the home team.

When is Bryant Bobblehead Night? Oh, can’t wait for that Purple Rox-White Sox matchup at month’s end in Chicago. How about free brat-worst?

Meanwhile, Black’s successor should be the first former Rockies player to manage the club.

No, not the “Welcome Back, Kotter’’ character.

Welcome back, Kapler.

Gabe Kapler, who was fired just before the end of the 2023 season by the Giants, spent a short stint with the Rockies for 79 games after being acquired in a trade in 2002 and before being traded in 2023. He mostly was a pinch-hitter and a popular player.

Following a 12-year career “Kap’’ joined the Dodgers in player development, was a minor-league manager, then became the charismatic, controversial Phillies manager for two seasons (2018-19 with a 161-183 record) before suddenly being fired. He surprisingly signed with the Giants in the Pandemic season of 2020. The next season he was voted National League manager of the year with a 107-55 mark. In ’22 and ‘23 the Giants dropped to 81-81 and 78-81, and he was short-sheeted. Kapler currently is one of four assistant GMs with the Marlins but would leap at another managing chance.

“Kap’’ or “The Body’’ was 42-19 as Giants manager against the Pet Rox.

Gabe thinks outside the batting box. So should the Rockies.