Two and a Half Knights - Turntech-carcino (Themortalhalfbloodgames) (2024)

Chapter 1: Pulling a John

Chapter Text

After so much time, things were actually looking up for one John Egbert. There was no mortal peril awaiting him, he no longer needed to save two races nor did he need to kill some crazy omnipotent dude that was sure enough going to kill him (spoiler alert: it didn't). For once, things were great. Zero to no problems, he was at ease. Which is why he decided that today would be a good day to do the do. Vriska was more than happy to help. Young John Egbert was going to lose his big V to another V.Everything was going great for one John Egbert. That’s exactly the moment that everything had started to go bad for this same John. While he had his sloppy make-out session, he and Vriska didn’t really consider the dangers of getting down and dirty in the lab at Johns house. Nor did they consider that maybe, doing the horizontal tango on the keyboard table was a bad idea. And when buttons were pushed and dials were moved, well sometimes things worked out in a funny way. Not funny ha-ha, more like funny weird. Ok yeah, John might be quoting that from a movie but who cares? The point is, after fulfilling what needed to be fulfilled, he awoke to a lesson: never and this means NEVER engage in alien-human sexual relationships in the ecto-lab.

“Sup Johnny dearest? To what do I owe the pleasure of receiving a call from your occupied self?” Dave’s voice said after three rings.
"Dave... I made a big mistake" Johns voice quivered.
"What did you do egderp? Recommend Con Air as a good movie again? Man, I've told you many times that it's such a lame movie you gotta stop-"
"No Dave, this actually serious..." John muttered as he interrupted Dave.
"How serious? Like, oh sh*t I forgot to buy the groceries serious or f*cking sh*t, we have no AJ serious?"
"Like... I might be a temporary be a dad serious?" John said making it sound like a question.
"Whoa dude, in whose oven did you stick your bun?" Dave asked sort of serious. That did not sound good.
"I um, it isn't like that! Not exactly..."
"Not exactly? Damn Egbert that makes zero sense. What did ya do bro?"
"Maybe it's better if I show you... Hey stop that!" He shouted at someone "Ah, I'll be over at your place in a few." And with that John ended the call that left Dave feeling slightly confused and sort of amused.

------

"Sup dude, what's the big prob?" Dave said when he swung the door open to his apartment
"Uh... Ok, here goes. And please don't faint" Dave opened his mouth to say that it's ridiculous to even think he of all people could faint when John took a step back and from behind him appeared Karkat. Only it isn't Karkat because he knows that his actual Karkat stepped out to see Sollux. That and, well this Karkat has his hair color. And eyes. And... Oh f*ck. Dave blinks twice and suddenly, fainting might not be such a bad idea.
"What the fu-"
"I can explain!" John said as he raised two hands up in defense
"You better! Did I...? I mean, I'm not dreaming right? This... Dude, who the f*ck..." Dave ran his hand through his hair and released a huge breath of air.
"Um Dave, he's kind of your son." John said as he made a face that clearly showed he was sorry.
"Nope, no way. Nonono. Not possible bro." Dave shook his head furiously.
"That's what I told him!" The young troll from behind John spoke up with an exasperated look.
"Holy f*cks he talks!" Dave stared at the troll, losing his cool completely. Then again he had probably lost it since the moment John had said the troll was his son.
"Of course I talk, I'm not a statue. Do I look like I want to be sh*tted on?" He said as he rolled his eyes. His red eyes. Dave's eye. His voice sounded like Karkat's though not so raspy and more calm and chill.
"Dave, please let us in so I can explain." John pleaded
"Sure of course but you're probably gonna give Karkat a heart attack when he sees him" he stepped aside to let John and the troll boy into the apartment.
"Trolls don't get heart attacks, dude" the boy troll said as he slipped his hands into his pocket and sauntered in.
"Okay little troll boy, whatever the troll equivalent is, he's gonna get it. Serious damage is going to be caused because of this, we might never recover... He's gonna flip his sh*t."
"Don't call me troll boy." He deadpanned
"Well then what should I call you?"
"Daniel, Daniel Strider." He said as he turned toward Dave and gave him a smirk.
"Okay Da- what? Did you say Strider?" His eyes widened in surprise though luckily they were obscured by his shades. Can't have anyone thinking he was actually caught of guard. If Dave couldn't admit he had lost his cool before, he would now.
"Yeah, that is the name my parents gave me, duh." He said with a shrug
"Whoa. This is some big sh*t here, I'd say that it's as big as Texas or something, but I hate geographical comparisons so I won't." Dave said as he let himself fall on the couch. He had officially lost his cool.

---------------

"So lemme get this straight Egnerd, you were doing the frick frack with Vriska in the sh*tty lab, but you forgot you had been analyzing ecto slime from our future lives and descendants and you happened to ecto omit the slime that created junior, here?" Dave asked with his head in his hands
"My name is Daniel. Is that so hard to say?" Daniel huffed
"Ok, Daniel. Whatever. This makes NO sense" Dave said, glaring at John through his shades.
"I told him that.." Daniel said with a bored voice.
"Why the f*ck would you be experimenting with our descendants slime's you weirdass geek? are you f*cking insane?" Dave said as he stood up in exasperation and flung his arms in the air.
"I told him that too!" The troll chuckled at the coincidences.
"Gegus Egbert your such a... Dork!" Daniel and Dave said the last word at the same time which made the blonde turn to the troll boy with an expression of utter horror. The boy sounded a lot like him just now, didn't he? Daniel didn't seem to give much thought to the fact so he continued to stare at John like if the guy was a total idiot. Which of course, due to recent events, made him exactly that.
"I know! I know I may have screwed up a little..."
"A little?!" Both Dave and Daniel said, again, at the same time.
"Ok kid troll, stop doing that" Dave turns to him with a little irritation. Dude, it was almost like if he was copying him or knew him really... Nope. Not going there.
"I'm not doing anything dipsh*t!" The troll said, now sounding more like Karkat than Dave.
"What? Oh no, you can't f*cking talk to me like that shorty, I am your elder!" He said to the boy. He tips his glasses a bit so he can glare at the him through the little space in between the shades and his face.
"So what? You gonna send me to my room gramps?" Daniel scoffed.
"Well maybe I will!" Dave retorted.
"Well maybe I don't give a sh*t!" Daniel said as he got to his feet and confronted Dave. The troll is short but he still stands tall. He's like a little ball of fury right now.
"You should, shortcake!"
"But I don't, dick for brain!"
"That's it, get out of my sight. Don't even bother showing your face in this room unless you're gonna quit your crap and be motherf*cking decent!!" Dave said as he made a gesture of shooing him.
"You're one to talk!" Daniel snorted
"I'm a f*cking adult, now scram!!" Dave pointed to the front door.
"Ugh!!!" The boy threw his hands in the air and turned his back on Dave.
And with that, Daniel left to saunter through the building, leaving a flustered Dave and a very shocked John.
"Bro, what the f*ck was that?" John asked "I'm genuinely considering to go to my room and think of what I've done" he snickered.
"I don't know dude, parental instincts kicking in? How the f*ck should I know?!" he said as he let himself flop back down on the couch and let out a breath of air.
"Okay... Well maybe we should figure out a way to fix this problem or you're gonna be stuck with a mini Karkat look alike" he said with a grin like if he finds this all too funny.
"Look a like? Bro, that kid IS Karkat." Dave groaned
"Nah, he says and does things like you do sometimes. Also, his hair and eyes are like yours. And he's already taller than Karkat was at his age, so he's got that going..." John said as his expression changed to one of deep thinking.
"Dude. Shut. Up. I'm freaking out and I'm trying to play it cool and all but John, We've got to fix this" he said to his friend.
"Yes well, that's why I came here. I think Karkat has some textbooks on ecto slime science? You know, the ones he kept after the game"
"I uh, yeah he does" Dave said a little puzzled "In his room. Follow me lord dumbass"
"Rude! Haha" John said as he stood up from the couch and gave Dave a little punch in the arm.
"You deserve it" he muttered back in irritation but returned the little punch.

------------------

"So I thought you two were a thing now" John said looking around Karkats room. It had a dim light but that's just how all the lights in the house. Karkats room was filled with books and posters of what Dave calls trashy chick flicks. To one side he has his old husk top and to the far left he has a small bed perfectly made. Actually, all his room was really clean and organized. Dave always called him a neat freak but he hadn't notice how much of a neat freak he really was till now.
"How come he still sleeps in his room?" John asked snapping Dave out of his thoughts.
"Nah, he just left his stuff in here. Not much space to fit his junk in my room. And besides, having two rooms just means more places to do the do" he said as he wiggled his eyebrows.
"Ew Dave! I SO did not want to hear that!"
"Too bad, bro. It's in your mind now. So what the heck are we looking for?" He said to him as he started looking throughout the titles of the books in Karkats bookshelf.
"Well, something that will tell me how to reverse the creation, like an undo mechanism. Might say something like ecto biology or something along those terms" John replied as he crouched down to look at the books on the bottom of the bookshelf.
"Gegus f*ck, the book might be in Alternian!" Dave said as he suddenly realized that the thing they might be looking for may be harder to come by.
"It's okay, Vriska has taught me some of the language and I know Karkat has done the same for you"
"Well yeah but it's not like I'm fluent in alien gibberish. I'm like a toddler who's learning how to speak, my words mostly consist of yes, no, f*ck, more, again and my favorite, f*ck me"
"Dave those are terrible choice of words to have learned! They're not even essential, why would you even... Oh, oh gross! I don't care!" he said as he covered his ears when Dave turned to him and wiggled his eyebrows "You can at least read it, right?"
"Yeah, some things. Dude, maybe we should've asked Jade and Kanaya for help. They know some sh*t about creating life and all that, right?"
"Yeah I thought about it but I figured you'd want less people involved about mini you." John said with a laugh.
"He is NOT mini me. This ain't no motherf*cking Austin Powers movie for you to be pulling that sh*t on me. Though I agree with you, the less people know the better"
"Yeah, I figured that this might be better in between us. Maybe no one will have to see the troll and have a freak out party" John said getting to his feet.
"Yeah, speaking of which, he's been gone for a while" Dave muttered
"Maybe he got lost?
"Maybe..." He said lost in thought, "Damn, I forgot Kanaya and Rose live in the building too! They might see him and then some sh*t is really gonna flip. That might be a huge mess-"
"WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING f*ck. DAVE!!!!!!!" screamed a voice from out of the room.
"Whoops. I might've forgot that daddy Karkat might be a bigger problem!" Dave said as he turned to the door and ran out to the living room in his usual quick pace, John following at a much calmer pace.

--------------

Karkat stood with his back pressed to the door, his eyes wide staring at Daniel. They were glued to the boy till Dave arrived into the room. He blinked once. Twice. Three times and then his eyes snapped up to Dave's face. He seemed scared, panicked, angry? Dave really wasn't sure but boy is he going to get in trouble. f*cking John dragging him into huge messes.

"Whoa sh*t. They're even more alike next to each other. Will the real karkat please stand up?" Dave joked to break the ice.
"Dave what the f*ck did you do?!" Karkat said, eyes still open wide.
"Hey, language babe. Junior here is still a kid. And I'll have you know I didn't-"
"I am not a f*cking kid, bro. Would you quit acting like I'm two sweeps old?" Daniel sighed. When he spoke, Karkats eyes seemed to grow bigger Like if that's even possible. Dudes got doll eyes all huge and mysterious Dave thought to himself.
"Dave, please tell me this is some kind of f*cking prank" Karkat said as he visibly swallowed.
"It's not a prank Karkat" John said with a sorry expression on his face as he entered the room.
"John? John human, why are you here?" He asked with a confused expression.
"Well you see babe, John here made a real fu- I mean, screw up" Dave said. He stopped himself from cursing to get a point across to Daniel.
"What do you mean?"
"I might have done this thing with Vriska. You see we were in the lab and we started kissing and well-"
"Ugh please get to the point!" Karkat said with an annoyed look on his face
"Ok, short story: this troll boy is your son from the future or some future and well... I made him out of ecto slime." John said rushing through the words.
"..."
"Karkat?"
"My... Uh. M-my" he stands in his place frozen with shock.
"Karkat are you ok? You're awfully pale..." John said as he took a step forward towards Karkat.
"M-my. He's m-my..." Karkat stares at the floor and goes quite.
"Karkat babe?" At the sound of Dave's voice his head snapped back up and he met his eyes or well, shades. His own are wide and scared.
"Hey Karkitty, it's fine, we'll figure this out" He told him in a calm tone. Dave used the nickname he hates to see if he snapped out of his frozen state and it seems to do the effect because he furrows his brow and opens his mouth to tell him to f*ck off probably but is interrupted by a lazy raspy but mad tone.
"Don't call him that, you know dad doesn't like it... I mean..." Daniel closed his mouth when he notices his mistake.
Karkats head turned toward the troll boy and then back to Dave's face. He did that about three times before holding his head and saying: "I think I'm gonna be sick." And then passed out.
Great.
Dave picked Karkat up with ease; his body despite being built and bulky, is quite light. He managed to prop him up on the couch and then sat next to him, holding him up by the waist. John sat on the chair beside Dave and Daniel just let himself flop on the floor in front of both Dave and Karkat. He looked bored and just started humming some little melody. His lips seemed to be moving, like if he was singing but before Dave could ask him about it, John turned to him with a little smile.
"So that went well, right?"
Dave and Daniel turn towards John. Daniel gave him a glare that clearly said "you idiot, how does this even seem right to you?" Dave knew this because that's the same glare he gave the black haired boy, only his is obscured by his shades. Damn, little Karkat does have your genes... He thought to himself. Boys got like the perfect equilibrium of both our personalities. It's like he's cool and chill on the outside but fiery and passionate on the inside. That is pretty f*ckin' awesome but still pretty messed up.
"Well, Johnny boy, that may be the understatement of the decade" Dave said with his trademark smirk.
"The century" Daniel scoffed "sh*t, he might have f*cked up so bad that now when people make a great f*ck up they're gonna call it "an Egbert"" he laughed.
Dave snorted at this but continued the joke "Damn, John f*cked up so bad he's been named mayor of f*ckemup village" Dave put a hand out and pretended to bow "Citizens make way for the new mayor" they both laughed.
"Ha-ha. You're both so funny. Maybe I should leave this problem to yourselves" John crossed his arms over his chest and frowned at them.
"Nah bro, it's all joke" Dave said "We need your capable hands because we can't do it by ourselves. We'd probably pull a John"
"Oh snap!" Daniel called and both him and Dave started laughing again.
"Oh very funny lil' Karkat. It's good to see you inherited Dave's oh so witty mind"
"What can I say? I'm a f*cking prodigy. You can't handle this much level of coolness. It hurts your eyes and makes you envious" he said as he winked at John.
"It's a Strider curse" Both Daniel and Dave said together making John roll his eyes.
"Well damn. You may look like your dorky father but yeah, I'm sure you're a Strider now" Dave said with a smirk. Daniel just smirked right back.
"Adorable, now you're both all chummy" John said as he shook his head.
"Mmm... Huh? Dave?" Karkat said as he tried to lift himself up from the couch.
"Hey babe, you ok? Don't get up" Dave told him as he put his arm around the trolls shoulders.
"Yeah I uh... Had a very f*cked up dream. I, we... Had a oh f*ck no. Nightmare. Nightmare! I'm still asleep right? Please tell me I'm still sleeping!" Karkat said as he saw the younger troll on the floor.
"Sorry Karkles but you ain't dreaming. John really pulled the biggest John he has ever been able to pull since we popped back here"
"Oh f*ck. So... He's really... Ours?" He whispered as he looked at Dave with a slightly panicked face.
"Well yes and no. He's obviously a son of a Dave and a Karkat but obviously not ours. I'd think you'd remember if a miniature you was walking around the house" Dave said as he gave him a small smile.
"So, some Dave and Karkat from another timeline have a child. A troll no less. You are a troll right?"
Daniel rolled his eyes "Of course I am. My horns didn't give you a f*cking hint?"
"Well excuse me, douche I-just-met, you may have horns but I have never met a troll with f*cking blonde white hair! And your skin? You like a shirt that's been washed too many times and faded its color"
"Yeah? Well at least I actually have horns! Not like you, nubs!"
"What?! You f*cking little-"
"Whoa, ok hold the fire. Karkat, babe. Leave the boy alone. Daniel, dude what the f*ck? He may not be your father but he's currently the closest thing you have and if you were with your actual father, I don't think you would disrespect him that way, would you?" Dave said in an authorities voice to both if them. sh*t, I'm getting these parent skills out of the blue and acing it. f*ck yes. He mentally fist bumped himself.
"No, sir" Daniel said as his head hung a little, as if he were ashamed of what he just did.
"Cool. I thought so. You gonna be cool too?" He said turning to Karkat.
"Humph. Yeah whatever." Karkat said slumping back on the couch and turning his head to one side and pursing his lips.
"Great, we're all cool then" he said as he pulled Karkat closer to him who at first pulled back but after a moment, little himself be hugged to Dave's side.
"Wow Dave, you're a really scary dad" John laughed
"Thanks john, I try" he said tipping his glasses and giving a wink.
"Of course you are" Karkat said sarcastically.
Dave turned to him and opened his mouth to retort but then caught sight of Daniel. The troll had his eyes scrunched up and he was pressing a hand to his temple. Exactly like Dave does when he's been without his shades for too long. When people would ask about it he'd usually dismiss it as a headache.
"Hey, Dan. You okay?" He asked the troll on the floor.
"Uh, yeah. I just... Little headache." Bingo, we've got a match. Dave smiled a little and pulled his shades off.
"Here. Use these." He handed his shades to the troll who accepted them without protests and sliped them on. Dave could feel Karkat looking at him but he didn't turn to look at him. "Headaches are a bitch man" he told the troll.
"Yeah, I know" Daniel replied with a shy smile.
"Well... I really think we need to ask for help now" John said after a pause, "I'm not really sure what I can do by myself and I'm guessing Jade and Kanaya might be able to give us some better ideas on the subject"
"Oh great, now we need to involve more people" Karkat huffed and then got up, "Well, I'll go call Jade and try to explain this... Situation" he said as he moved his hands all around gesturing at Daniel and then started his way to his room.
"Ok, I'll text Kanaya" Dave said as he pulled out his phone.

-----------------------------

After a while, Karkat came out of the room, shoulders hunched like if he was tired.
"So they'll be here tomorrow at noon. Jades really curios and I'm sure her f*cking curiosity is gonna kill her one day but well, at least that got her to come" he said as he let himself fall on the couch.
"Yeah Kanaya said she'd be over at the same time" Dave sighed.
"Well I guess there isn't much to do" John said with a little sigh, "I mean, not until tomorrow"
"I guess not. f*cking mess you got us into nookstain" Karkat grumbled.
"So... I think I'm gonna head home" John said as he lifted himself up from the arm chair, "You guys think that Daniel can stay with you? I don't want Vriska to find out... She's kinda gossipy, heh"
"You don't say?" Dave deadpanned,
"Kinda, heh. So what do you say guys?" Dave was about to respond but Karkat responded before him.
"Yeah. He can stay in my room" he said surprising Dave a little. Although, now that they mentioned it, Daniels been awfully quiet. Dave turned to the boy and found that he's was asleep on a pile of books. Huh, what is it with trolls and piles?
Karkat lead John to the door and they exchanged a couple of comments which also translated to "Karkat insulting Johns stupidity and carelessness and John saying sorry multiple times".
Dave shook his head and smiled at this and then got up from the couch. He walked over to Daniel and stared at him. He was really fascinated by the way the boy looked so much like his boyfriend but he also like him. The white hair and red eyes were obviously his. Also the height because there is no way that came from Karkats side. His pale complaxion also seemed to pass on to the kid but as Karkat said, his tone of gray wasn't the same as the trolls normal skin color, it was more of a dirty white. Of course he also saw Karkats features in the boys face; his big eyes, the nose, the shape of his lips and his high cheek bones. He also had that overbite Karkat had and his teeth seemed just as pointy, although his horns weren't exactly like Karkats. They were still sort of nubby but a little longer. He was a troll but he was so different. He wondered if there were other troll children from mixed races in Daniels timeline. He also wondered if they all looked like him, with mixed features. And then Dave also felt something like anxiety and fear for the son who wasn't exactly his. He knew how trolls were, how they gave each other sh*t just for their blood color, he couldn't imagine what they would say about Daniel. He was a troll yet he looked so different... Did they shun him? Would they threaten him as they once did to his boyfriend? Dave swallowed hard. He wanted to know so much. He wanted to know how father Dave dealt with it. Or maybe the child between a troll and human was a normal thing, so no one questioned it. Who knew...
"Hey perv, stop staring at the boy like that" Karkat said snapping him out of his thoughts.
"He looks so much like us..." He mumbled without even reacting to what Karkats said.
"I know. He acts likes us too" Karkat said as he approached Dave's side.
"Yeah. I noticed" he hugged Karkat from behind and placed his chin on his shoulder.
"You gave him your shades" he says as he looked up to him.
"He needed them" Dave responded but without looking at Karkat.
"How do you know?" he asked puzzled.
"He did the thing I do when the sun or light starts to bother me. Then when I asked him about it he said it was headache which is what I also say. So I was certain" he shrugged.
"Oh..."
"Karkat?" Dave asked in a low voice.
"Hmm?"
"His skin color, his hair, sh*t his eyes. Do you think..." He can't really ask the question.
"I don't know Dave" Karkat said, already knowing the direction of Dave's thoughts, "It scares me to think about it. When I saw him I just thought mutation. Errors. Wrong. shouldn't exist" Dave shuddered at that. He didn't hold it against Karkat, that's just the way he was raised. Being anything different from what was considered normal wasn't seen as a good thing in troll society and when it came to appearances and blood colors, it was even worse.
"When you told me... Well. I got scared for him....He's not even my son!" Karkat said with a nervous laugh.
"Well technically..." Dave started
"Oh f*ck you, you know what I mean... I just hope that wherever the real him is, he's ok. That the us that's with him protects him" he said in almost a whisper.
"He's fine, the real him wherever he is? He's fine" Dave said to him and hugged him closer.
"Why? Because he's a strider?" Karkat snorted.
"Yeah. And a Vantas. And that makes him pretty much a badass" he said as he nuzzled Karkats neck.
Karkat smiled at Dave and then at Daniel.
"We should take him to my room." he said as he looked up to Dave.
"Yeah, ok babe" Dave unwrapped Karkats waist and walked over to Daniel. He lifted the boy on his shoulders like bro used to do with him when he would fall asleep on the couch after a long day. Karkat followed behind and then stepped in front of Dave to get the door open. When they entered Karkats room, he started to pile up blankets and pillows in the middle of his bed.
"Karkat, what are you doing?" Dave asked
"Building the a Hive. What the f*ck does it look like I’m doing insufferable prick? I’m making a pile!" he answered.
“Yes, smart-guy, but why?”
“Trolls feel at home in piles” He said without stopping his task of pulling more things into the pile.
Once he was done, Dave laid the troll on the pile of stuff and, to Karkats satisfaction, saw the boy bury his head and let out a relaxed sigh. He then leaned over and plucked the shades off, putting them on the night stand.
“Come on, let's go” Dave said as he dragged Karkat out of his room by the hand and towards his own room.
When they entered Dave turned to Karkat and hugged him to his chest, laying his chin on the top of Karkats, feeling the troll snuggle under his throat.
“You okay babe?” He asked after a while.
“Yes. Just... Worried for him”
“Yeah, me too. Who would've thought it though? We're parents in some timeline” he chuckled.
“Maybe our timeline” Karkat said in almost a whisper. Dave stiffened but answered after a beat.
“Maybe.”
“Is... Is that something you would like?” Karkat said, stepping away from Dave to look at him
“I’ve never thought about it, to be honest. It’s not like I give it much thought. Kids and babies… Growing up” he shivered.
“Well neither did I. Trolls don’t raise children. I don’t understand how the Karkat from his timeline is dealing with it. I wouldn’t know what to do! What do humans do with their grubs, uh I mean babies”
“Uh well, parents are like your lusus, well sort of. They serve as guidance and protection as we grow up, financial income too. I uh, really don’t know what else, I was brought up by my Bro in a different way. He was always preparing me for everything I guess” he trailed off.
“Hmm… Humans are so weird” Karkat says. He reached a hand towards Dave and cupped his face, stroking under his eyes.
“I see so much of you in him, I automatically want to love him and hate him as well obviously" He said, making Dave let out a laugh, "Don’t laugh at me, dickprince! Does it even make sense?”
“It does. I feel the same. He's like a little you. His expressions and his foul language" he said with a chuckle.
“What are we going to do Dave? If we can't reverse what that foolish grubfisting imbecile, Egdork did?” Karkat eyes showed worry and fear he felt. Dave sighed and lead them to his bed. He sat down, pulled Karkat on his lap and looked him in the eyes.
“What would you like to do?” Dave asked him as he reaches up and rubbed the back of his hand on Karkats cheek. The troll leaned into the contact and closed his eyes.
“I don't know Dave. I’m afraid and it’s a sh*tty to say that out loud but it’s the f*cking truth! We can’t... I mean, I can't even take care of myself, let alone you. Imagine trying to do that with a troll kid! It’s f*cking impossible. I don’t even know the first thing about raising younglings”
Dave clamped a hand down on Karkats mouth. When he released him, he kissed the troll gently, to let him know he understood, that he knew what he was feeling and that he felt the same. When he parted from him, Karkats eyes were big and scared. So he laied them down on the pile of blankets Karkat always had in his bed. He then turned on his side and Karkat mimicked his position. Then he just looked at the troll and returned to moving the back of his hand across his cheek, up and down. He noticed Karkats eyes had started to close and he too felt drowsy.
“We'll figure it out, babe. We might not be such sh*tty parents if you know, things happen to f*ck up in our faces” he said with sarcasm.
“Mmm... Too young” Karkat murmured as he pulled himself closer to Dave.
“I'm a mature 23 year old guy, I ain't young. I have a house and a beautiful wife” he said giving Karkat a noisey kiss, making Karkat swat him, “I have a great job-”
“You’re a f*cking DJ!” Karkat said as his eyes opened and he let out a little laugh.
“It’s incredible, shut up. I've also started college, you can’t tell me that isn’t a grown-up achievement”
“You’re studying music and arts”
“It’s still college, babe. And let me tell you music and arts is a respectful career” he said as he gave Karkat a kiss on the cheek.
“Okay, you’re right. That still doesn't make you a mature adult” he said rolling his eyes, “You still cry watching toy story 3!”
“sh*t man, everyone cries in that movie, that doesn't prove anything” he said with a little blush. He then resumed caressing the trolls cheek whose eyes had started to close again and then smiled.
“... figure it out later” He murmured to Dave who wrapped his arms around him. Karkat snuggled in his chest and let out a sigh.
“Yeah babe, we can figure it out later” and he proceed to let himself fall asleep, his last thought being about the troll in the other room.

Chapter 2: Feelings Jam with my ecto-son from another timeline

Chapter by Themortalhalfbloodgames

Chapter Text

Karkat knew he was being watched even before he opened his eyes. He couldn't call himself a light sleeper because Dave had proved countless times that he could sleep through his very loud mornings as he walked in and out of the bathrooms slamming the doors open as he did. That never woke Karkat up, but this was different. It was like his body felt self conscious. So when he cracked open his eye he knew someone was there.
"Who's there?" He called. His voice, still groggy from sleep, echoed in the silent room.
"Da- I mean, Karkat?" a voice said from the doorway. Karkat forced his eyes to focus on the figure who stood there. After a couple of blinks, he distinguished a mop of blond hair and red bright eyes. He pushed himself off the bed and when he finally caught sight of the face, he sucked in a little breath. He saw Dave's face, but that wasn't what shocked him. What shocked him was the fact that he was looking at the Dave he had once seen through his computer screen, growing up as a young boy in Texas.
"D-Dave..." he whispered. The boy shook his head and as he did so, he revealed two stubby yet long horns.
"sh*t, Daniel. I'm sorry you just look a sh*ton like this douch bag when he was younger..." He muttered. The light wasn't really helping either because since Daniel's skin wasn't really grey, in the dark he just looked as pale as Dave.
"I-I'm... It's ok" he whispered.
"What are you doing here? Weren't you sleeping?" Karkat asked as he swung his legs over the bed.
"I was, but I.." Daniel took in a deep breath and then let it out, like if he was bracing himself for something.
"Hey, what's going on? Why did you come in here?" Karkat had meant to ask nicely but well, he didn't really do nice.
"Ihavenighterrors" the troll kid said as if it was all one word.
"Ah. I understand" and he did. Karkat's sleep had been plagued with them since he was a little grub. He had only recently stopped getting them but when he did, he would wake up to Dave holding him and telling him to breath as he cried his eyes out. Those nights weren't his favorite.
Karkat scratched the back of his neck and sighed. He really didn't know what to do. He had seen movies in which parents comforted their young when they went into their room claiming they had a "nightmare" but Karkat didn't have a clue as to what he was expected to do.
"Oh for f*cksakes... Uh, f*ck kid I really don't know what to tell you. You want to come in?" He said as he shrugged. The troll kid nodded and slipped into the room and walked over to Karkat.
"I um... Yeah. Just lemme get this f*cker to move a little" he told the boy as he pushed Dave around on the bed so he could make some space for Daniel to sit. He had silently thanked Dave for insisting to get a bigger bed in this room because this task would be near impossible on Karkats bed.
Once Dave was shuffled to one side, Daniel let himself down on the edge of the bed. Something was different about him but Karkat couldn't exactly say what.
"So I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do right now but based on what I've read and seen, I think the reasonable thing to do right now is to ask you if you want to talk about it" Karkat said as he scratched the back if his neck again. He really didn't have a f*cking clue what he was supposed to be doing. Give him a warm beverage? Hold him till he fell asleep again? Maybe a shoosh-pap? He dismissed all the ideas at once. He wasn't really comfortable with all the unnecessary interaction.
"Yeah, talking is fine" Daniel said in a quiet voice.
"Well okay, talk" He said, "It's fine if you don't want to talk about the night terror. We can talk about something else" he added when the kid looked down to the floor and bit his lip. Karkat did the same when he got flustered with feelings, so he didn't want the boy to feel pressured into talking.
"I miss my dads" he said in a voice so low Karkat was afraid he imagined it.
sh*tstain, this is not what I was expecting him to tell me. What in the everloving grub am I supposed to tell him now?! Your thinkpan must have fried when you suggested talking about anything. f*cking sh*t! he thought to himself.
"Uh yeah well... It's okay to miss people" he said, "I mean, I've also missed people"
"Do you miss your luses?" Daniel asked suddenly making Karkat stiffen. He hadn't talked to anyone about this, except Dave maybe. But Daniels hurt eyes seemed to have the same effect Dave's eyes had with him when he pouted.
"Er, yeah. Crab dad was a good lusus. He wasn't really difficult to handle like others I know. He was also caring... in his own way, obviously"
Daniel seemed to think a while. "What about someone close to you? Like uh, Dave" he didn't seem comfortable calling Dave by his name, "Did you miss him one he died after the last fight?"
"W-what?" Karkat stammered, "How do you know about that?" he furrowed his brow in confusion.
"My dad also... In his battle? He died. He was brought back after the game started, just like everyone else. Or so my dads tell me" he sighed.
"Well then you probably know my answer." Karkat said as he crosses his arms and turned his head to one side. He really did not want to talk about this with him.
"No, I don't. Dad doesn't like to talk about it and well, other Dad doesn't know what to tell me since he was a corpse" Karkat winced at this, "You don't have to tell me. We can talk about something else" Daniel offered Karkats own words back to him.
He thought about it for a moment. The possibility a of this little grubmuncher to tell Dave about his feelings was very low and he knew some how, that the boy would never even think of telling Dave. But he really didn't like to talk about this, it made him feel weak. Then again, this was a young troll with only a few sweeps of age. Karkat swallowed his pride and took a breath. Here goes nothing...
"I did miss him. I thought I had lost him forever because I didn't know what would happen after the game. I felt torn and vulnerable and if at that moment someone would've asked me if I wanted to join him wherever the dead go, I would've said yes" as soon as he opened his mouth all the words started to rush out. He had never spoken to anyone about this, not even Dave. And now that he had been given the chance he couldn't stop him himself. "I missed him so much. More than what I missed my dead friends. More than I missed my lusus and even more than what I missed my planet. And when we finished the game, I was sure I would never be happy." He wasn't sure if he had been telling this to the troll child or himself.
"But then the game restarted, right?" Daniel asked even though he knew the answer was yes. Karkat just nodded.
"And then I got the insufferable prick back" he said as he turned his head to Dave's sleeping body next to him and smiled. Daniel also smiled.
"You remind me a lot of my dad" he said after a beat.
"Well duh, we're practically the same person" Karkat snorted.
"No sh*t. But that's not what I meant" Daniel rolled his eyes, "I mean you remind me of him because you aren't exactly like him. Dad is mature and doesn't lose his temper as fast as you. Though he said he used too, just like you" he said with a smirk. Karkat noticed it was the same smirk Dave would give him when he would stump Karkat with some clever thinking.
"I'm the same f*cking mature person! And I don't lose my temper that easy you f*cktart" this only proved Daniel right so Karkat rolled his eyes at him. Dave shifted slightly in his sleep and Karkat mentally hit himself for raising his voice. Both him and Daniel watched Dave's sleeping figure for a while. When they decided he wasn't going to wake up at any moment, they continued their conversations.
"Dave... He's pretty much the same. Still f*cking creeps me out when he gets all parental and sh*t" he said with a shy smile. Karkat let out a little laugh. They stayed quiet for a moment when Dave shuffled in his sleep again.
Karkat was curious about so many things but he was afraid to ask the boy about it. He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer of some things that plagued his mind. So he asked a simple question.
"Dan, how... How am I as a father?" The question seemed like he was asking about his present self, but luckily Daniel understood that he was referring to Guardian (father? Parental figure? What the f*ck do humans call them?) Karkat. Also, when the f*ck had he decided to nickname the kid?
"I think you are. We fight but every family fights, right? You are caring as other Dad but you are sort of... More strict." he said with a smile.
"Oh... Do you still live here? In this town I mean"
"No, we moved when I was a grub. Because of your work or something like that. We live closer to aunt Jade now."
"Work? I work? Does Dave work? What do I work as? Is Dave still a DJ? We live closer to Jade? Holy mothergrub..." Ok, maybe Karkat had asked too much questions. It was f*cking wrong too know things about the future, but then again this could be about some other timeline completely. Daniel just gave him a little smile.
"Yeah, you work. You give English literature at some prestigious Troll/Human university," he rolled his eyes at this but Karkat didn't understand why, "No, dad stopped his DJ business after he graduated. He has some record company now. He also launched some sh*tty ironic comic when he was getting his business open, "as a hobby" he said. But that pretty much launched his whole f*cking career. Made people get to know him." he told Karkat. Yeah, that pretty much sounded like something Dave would do. But him? He gives classes. Doesn't that mean he would have also needed to study college? Ah f*cking sh*t was messing with his head. He hadn't even planned to go to college. Sure, take some classes but go into full studytroll mode? f*ck no. He needed time to do... What was it exactly what he did?
"Oh. So we're good... Right?" Ok, now Karkat was just not making any sense.
"Good? You mean stable?" he asked as he stifled a yawn.
"Yeah. Stable, getting through, living the gogdamn dream you know... Happy" he said in a little whisper. Why was he asking about this? He didn't really care. This was about two completely different people. Sure, those people were technically them but he wasn't even sure if it was his own timeline or some "f*cked up universe" timeline.
Daniel seemed to think of his words a little as he let himself fall back on the edge of the bed.
"We're pretty f*cking stable, hell, we're better than f*cking stable- ow! Ok, ok sorry. We're stable" Daniel said as he rubbed the back of his head where Karkat had hit him with his foot. Gegus that boy had such a mouth. Who's fault do you think that is sh*tstain? he scolded himself. He would really need to hold his own tongue if he was ever going to get the boy to stop with the cursing.
"As I was saying" Daniel continued, "Dad said that when I was a little grub, things had been a bit tight. But when his lameass- ow, ok no, you have to admit it sucks" Daniel said as he lifted himself up with his elbow. He looked a lot like Dave right at that moment. Karkat just chuckled a little but didn't say anything else. "Yeah so, lame comic kicks off and dad turns into some weird internet celebrity and people start asking for autographs and then all the presentations at popular events and yeah" the boys smile made Karkats heart swell. He talked about his dad, father Dave, with so much emotion. It was hard not to notice how much he looked up to him. "So yeah, after a while when I was a bit older, you decided to apply for a job at some school and you went back to finish your studies. You guys explained it but it was all bull- eh, poop to me" he said eying Karkats foot hovering over him.
"So what? I was working and finishing school?" Karkat asked.
"No, you got some masters or such" he said as his eyes closed.
"Oh... Well that isn't so fu- um bad" he mumbled as he let his thoughts drift a little. He really found it hard to believe that somewhere (or at some moment) he was going to have a career... A family. Sure it all sounded f*cking incredible but he still had fears, he had doubts. He felt like an asshole for wanting to know only about himself and how he was in that life. He should've asked the troll about himself, about his life, his hobbies...
"D-dan?" He asked tentatively. f*ck, he had no clue how to do these type of things.
"Mmm..." The boy muttered.
"A-are... Are you happy?" He was afraid to know the answer for some sh*tty reason. Daniels eyes were closed and for a moment, Karkat thought he had already fallen asleep till the boy shifted and let out a sigh.
"Mmm-hmm. I am dad." He murmured before he yawned and snuggled in the pile of blankets. Karkat felt a strange sensation fill him when the troll child called him dad. He wasn't mad, he knew the boy was sleepy and he was obviously confused. But he also knew that even though he wasn't his real dad, he was the closest thing he had at the moment. Without even thinking about it, he reached out to the boy and combed his fingers through his white hair. It was soft and silky, just like Dave's. He continued to do this for a while.
"Is he asleep?" Dave's groggy voice asked, startling Karkat in the process.
"Holy f*cks you idiotic nook sucker! You almost made my sh*tty blood pusher explode! Are you f*cking insane?!" Karkat felt the bed shake due to Dave's chuckle.
"Trolls don't get heart attacks, quit being such a dramatic troll" he said with a roll of his eyes.
"Yeah I know but, wait. How the hell do you know that? Never mind, I don't f*cking care. To answer your previous question yes, the little grubsucker is asleep. What gave it away? His steady breathing or the fact that he sleeps like the f*cking dead just like you?" Karkat said as he tried to keep his voice down as much as he could which, in his standard was almost impossible.
"Oh Kitkat don't be such a little sh*t" Dave pinched the trolls cheek earning him a swat to the face. "Ow, that hurt" he deadpanned.
"I am honestly not in the mood for your cool kid act. I'm tired so I'm just going to sleep" he said moving around in the pile to get comfortable. He pulled his legs to his chest so he wouldn't kick Daniel by accident or anything. He felt Dave move behind him and wrap an arm around his waist and his face hide in his hair, making Karkat purr. But just a little.
"How much did you hear?" he asked Dave. He knew he had woken up at some point because he heard the change of rhythm in breathing. He was always aware of Dave's breathing when he was awake so he knew what each change in pattern meant.
"Some stuff. I wasn't awake for that much." he lied, but Karkat knew better.
"Don't even try you little bulgef*cker"
"Why Karkat, are you implying that I engage in f*cking a trolls bul- ow! Okay, sorry!" he said with a snicker and rubbed his forehead where Karkat had flicked him. "Whoa babe, you might have caused some serious damage right there. I could sue you, get Tz to be my lawyer. But I could also pardon your actions if you do me a favor" he teased as his grip on Karkats waist grew tighter.
"I'm gonna hace to pass on the favor because we have a gogdamn troll kid on the edge of our bed. Now stop pulling more sh*t out of your mouth and answer my question. How much did you hear?" he said as he turned in Dave's arms to face him. The blond scrunched his face a little and then sighed.
"Ok, no bother trying to keep it from you, inspector Vantas. You've caught me red-handed at the scene of the crime. I promise to cooperate with the police if I can lessen my sentence"
"Dave, I have no clue what human f*ckery you are talking about at the moment. If you are referencing to your human legal system let me just stop you right there. There is not enough time in the night for me to tell you all the things that are wrong with it. Now quit being a douch Mc Stider and answer my question"
"Fine, fine. Inspector Vantas you win" he sighed and looked away, "I was awake for most of it. Heard a lot of what you asked junior over there" he signaled to Daniel with his chin. "Didn't mean to eavesdrop, babe. I just kinda liked what I was hearing" he said as he buried his face in Karkats hair.
"So you heard me... About the end of the game and..." He felt Dave nod. "And you heard me ask about... Our life?" Again, he felt him nod. "Well great you f*cking asshole. You heard everything. What was up with all the stirring and shuffling around in bed!?" he asked Dave in a pretty pissed voice.
"I don't know... Uncomfortable?" He said as he looked up and bit his lip and gave Karkat an ashamed look.
"You're such a worthless pink monkey. I can't have one deep meaning conversation with my ecto-son from a different timeline without having you to eavesdrop!" He rolled his eyes and turned his head to the side.
"Aw don't be that way Kitkat. I didn't mean to wake up in the middle of your heart to heart chat!" He said with a teasing smile only that only made Karkat huff in annoyance. He pulled the troll closer to him, being careful not to accidentally kick the boy under them, and nuzzled his neck. "I promise not to make any comment on what I heard. I won't say a thing If you don't want to talk about it." It was a pretty good deal and Karkat wasn't exactly mad, more like embarrassed.
"Fine." He huffed and wrapped his arms around Dave's shoulders. He felt his eyes grow heavy and soon, his breath started to ease into a slow rhythm. Before he fell asleep he heard or at least he think he heard Fave whisper in his ear: "I would never be happy without you either."

Chapter 3: Pay attention to your elders, you idiot.

Chapter by Themortalhalfbloodgames

Chapter Text

When Dave wakes up,

When Dave wakes up, his first thought is who the f*ck left the curtains open in the house of two people who are f*cking sensitive to light? His second thought is f*ck, it's cold. Obviously something is wrong. He gets a slap in the face by a trolls hand who's currently curled up at his side and using him as a heater. Except Dave is freezing cold and he isn't a good source of heat right now.

"Dave... Daaaave, you complete imbecile. You forgot to close the window" the troll groans in a groggy sleepy voice as he hides under a blanket.
Dave doesn't really understand. He was sure he closed the window yesterday, he always does... Oops. He forgot about Daniel. Sure enough, when he's finally able to locate his spare shades in the drawer in his nightstand, he can see the boys moppy white hair moving in the wind, only he's standing outside the balcony with his hands stuck in his pocket. Kids standing outside in this god forsaken weather like its nothing to him. Damn boys got some steel.Dave decided it was enough time with the balcony doors opened so he swung his legs over the bed's edge and lifted himself from it. He stretched back a couple of times before he walked to the balcony. It was cold outside. Not: "sh*t, my balls are gonna turn into snow globes out here" kind of cold but more like: "I'm cold but I can still pretend I can handle it" sort of cold.

"Jesus fu- I mean, sh*t kid it's pretty cold out here for you to be in only some jammies." He said as he approached Daniels side.

"It's colder back home... At least I think it was. I can't really..." he trailed off and shook his head. He leaned over the balconies edge and Dave's breath caught in his throat.

"Dude, uh maybe don't get too close to the edge, those metal bars aren't really stable. They broke off some time ago and I haven't gotten around to fixing them." he said as he held a hand out in precaution. He recalled breaking them when he was hugging Karkat; he had leaned against the railing for support and one of the metal bars popped out. He would've tumbled over if Karkat hadn't pulled him from the front of his shirt. Since then, they had closed the balcony to prevent anyone falling over it, but after that little episode, Dave would get nervous whenever someone would lean against the railings of any place.

"Nah, it's cool. Nothing gonna happen" and to demonstrate it, Daniel hopped onto the rail and sat on it.

"Dude seriously just get off the f*cking railing. It isn't safe." Dave told him in a more authoritative voice and forgetting all about the "no insults rule" for a second.
Kid was planning to bring him to an early grave, ain't no f*cking respect for authority anymore.

"Dave, it's alright chill out, see?" He lifted his hands off from the metal bars and balanced himself to demonstrate a point.

"Dan come on, get the f*ck off of that thing, listen to me when I tell you this. I've been through it already." seriously this kids was testing the ol' fashion Strider patience.

"It's fine, see? Totally- oh sh*t!" The metal bar clicked and slid out of place making Daniel lose his balance and start falling backwards as his hands clutched in the air in front of him trying to hold on to something. Everything seemed to fast forward in the world; It would've taken him less than 5 seconds to be out of reach and less than 10 to fall to the ground, it would've all ended pretty fast. Luckily Dave was faster.
He flash-stepped to grab the kids wrist and pulled him with all his strength towards himself. For a second just one second, Dave thought they were both going to fall to their death, but in that same second, Dave pulled back with all he had, making them both fall back and earning a loud "OMF" from Dave. And then, both troll and human released a breath they didn't know they were holding and the world went back to its normal speed. Daniel was clutching Dave's shirt and holding back sobs that came out like choked breaths of air.

"I told you Daniel, f*cking told you! But did you listen? Goddamn it I... f*ck." he held the boy closer to him and screwed his eyes shut, preventing himself from crying. He didn't even understand why he felt like crying! It was such a stupid reaction to have and...

"I-I'm s-sorry, D-Dave" the boy trembled and buried his head in Dave's neck. He could feel the tears dampening his shirt.

"What the f*ck are you to bulgef*ckers doing- Oh my mothergrub. What the hell did you... Daniel? What the hell happened to you, Dave? What's going... Oh. Oh no." Dave looked up and locked eyes with Karkat. He tried to explain everything as best as he could through that strange silent communication they had. They looked at each other for a couple of seconds till Dave looked back down to the child clutching his shirt desperately.

"Dave, his leg" Karkat said as he slowly walked towards both of them. Dave looked down to what Karkat had signaled and noticed bright red liquid oozing out of a large cut on the side of his leg.

"Aw damn. Dan you uh... I don't want to freak you out, man but I need you to tell me if you feel any pain." he asked the boy as he pulled back a little to look him in the face. Daniel's expression was one of confusion and Dave could swear he heard the gears in his head turn and then click when he finally understood. He saw the boy look down slowly and through the space in between his shades and his face, watched as his eyes grew large in fear.

"I-I... Blood. I don't... No this isn't." he started to shake. Dave saw Karkat move to his side and crouch next to Daniel.

"Daniel? Hey, grubmuncher. Look at me" he asked in the calmest voice Dave had ever heard him use, "Hey, look. It's going to be all right ok? We can take you to a hospital-"

"No, please no. Not there! They treat me like a freak! Please not there." Dave felt his heart clench as he remembered something that had happened a few years ago when he was in High school but he shook his head to forgot the memory, now was not the time. He saw Karkat visibly swallow and flinch as the boy said the word "freak" but the older troll seemed to compose his posture quickly.

"No one is going to call you jacksh*t. I'll make sure of it. We can talk to a friend of mine, Tavros. He works at a hospital and he's a troll doctor for children like you." he said as he slowly put a hand on Daniel's shoulder and gave him an awkward pat. Dave raised an eyebrow at him but Karkat shook his head. He was not to be teased right now.

"O-okay. I remember Tavros... But, I'm not a child." Daniel said, his original indifference coming back a little.

"Of course you're not. Now come on, we need to get you fixed," Karkat said as he got to his feet. He extended a hand and helped Dave up. He then sighed and leaned down to help Daniel up.

"You ok to walk or you want me to help?" He offered the boy who was currently trying to stand without wincing in pain.

"I uh... Might need a hand." he murmured. Dave took this as a sign to swoop the boy up in his arms.

"H-hey! Whoa! I don't need you to carry me like a little grub!" He said as he gave Dave a punch in the shoulders.

"Quit it, shorty. If someone offered to carry me I'd accept it with no protest. Enjoy it while you still can." He chuckled and the troll protested a while longer till he just crossed his arms and frowned.

"Sit him on the couch and apply some pressure to that thing." Karkat sped around the room grabbing cell phones, wallets and keys while Dave walked to the kitchen to find some cloth to wipe the blood off the kids leg. He applied some water to the cloth and then went back to Daniel.

"This might hurt a bit." Dave said to him. He only nodded and turned his head to the side. Dave nodded as well and then pressed the cloth on the wound, whipping the already drying blood off of it. Dan winced but otherwise didn't make any other movement. Dave managed to clean most of the dried blood but the wound kept bleeding. It seems that the metal bar from the railing had managed to pierce the boys leg when Dave had pulled him to safety; it was deep from what Dave could tell and it ran from the side of his knee almost to his ankle. He wrapped the cloth over Dan's knee to stop the flow of blood from turning into f*cking Niagara Falls. Dave knew some first aid because with all the strifing with Bro, knowing that sh*t was necessary. It wasn't cool having to walk into the hospital every two days because of a sprained ankle or a bruise, so they had both decided to get some basic first aid training. As he finished the knot, a pair of jeans flew towards him and he caught them before they hit his face.

"Come on asshole. We need to go." Karkat said as he chucked him they keys to their car. He then circled the couch and stood in front of Daniel as Dave fumbled to get his pants on. He saw Karkat visibly tense up and then take in a huge breath of air. Then he watched as Karkat did something he didn't really believe the troll would actually do, ever. He saw the older troll scoop the kid up and carry him like a mother would carry their toddler. Daniel didn't even fight him. He might've been in too much pain or maybe he just didn't see the point in protesting but either way, Dave saw the boy relax and lean his head on Karkats shoulder.

"What the f*ck are you looking at, sh*t for brains? Move!" He nudged Dave towards the door and with certain effort, moved to the door himself.

"You wanna hand, momma Kat?" Dave said as he opened his arms and offered to carry the troll kid. Karkat just shook his head and pointed to the elevator with his chin.
Dave pushed the button repeatedly, as if that was going to speed the elevator.

"Quit f*cking around with the buttons! You're going to break it one of these days and then what are we going to do?" Karkat huffed.

"Geez, calm the down mom Kat! Everything's going to be all right!"

"I just really don't want to f*ck the elevator up, OK?"

"It's going to be fine. It's a good elevator." Dave said knowing that they weren't actually referring to the elevator.

When they finally got to the first floor, Karkat rushed out and walked to their car with a quick pace. He tipped his chin signaling Dave to open the cars door. He seemed reluctant to let go of the boy so he slipped into the back seat with him. He shifted around so Daniel, who was starting to fall asleep (or pass out, Dave really wanted it to be the former) could prop his leg up. Dave circled to the cars driver seat and started the car.

"You do know where we're going, right f*ckface?" Karkat asked him while he took his phone out and searched for a specific number.

"Yeah, I think so. Tavros works at that cool new high-tech hospital or something right?" Dave said as he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road.

"Yeah. I still can't believe the f*cker graduated his medical training early. Who would've thought that the idiot even had the smarts for this medical sh*t?" He said as he looked out the door.

"It's just troll medicine, it's not that much of an accomplishment" Dave said knowing this was a lie.

Terezi had told him a little about Tavros when she and Gamzee broke up. Tavros seemed to have gotten into the medical school early, at least one year before finishing high school. Then, he finished two years before time and now was currently trying to finish his studies on human medicine. f*cking troll was a genius. And sort of an idiot because he was currently dating the f*cking juggalo clown. Which is why Terezi knew all of this. And Dave? Dave was f*cking fantastic; trying to finish college and providing for Karkat and himself with his DJ gig and his comic he had going on. Karkat also helped with his income from working in a library and such. He wasn't complaining but damn, some people just hit the jackpot sooner.

"Hey, Earthernia to Dave's f*cking thinkpan, come in Dave. Did you even listen to what I said?" Karkat asked. Earthernia still made Dave snicker. It was the new name for the new planet they created but it was literally a mash up of the two planets previous names. It was like a bad ship name.

No. "Yeah."

"Are you lying so I won't get pissed?"

Maybe. "Of course not."

"You're such a sh*tty liar."

The worst, absolute horrible. "Am not."

He saw Karkat roll his eyes through the rear view mirror and smirked at him.

"I said, I'm going to call Tavros to see if he's in. Do you think you're sh*tty thinkpan can manage to find the hospital on itself?" he asked as he dialed up the number.

"Yeah babe, go ahead and call the dude. I'll find the place faster than Christopher Columbus found America"

"I have no f*cking clue who he is or what an America does. But please shut your windpipe for a second and let me make my call."

The call pretty much lasted five minutes before Karkat hung up with a sigh.

"Sup babe?" He asked as they pulled up at the hospitals parking lot.

"He'll meet us in the children's wing. I uh... Didn't mention who we were bringing." he mumbled as he tried to scoop up Daniel again.

"Yeah, I noticed. But the dude is no idiot. He's gonna find out or make his own conclusions." Dave said as he shut the car off. He exited his side and walked over to Karkat's to get the door open.

"You want me to help?" Dave offered again to carry Daniel. This time Karkat nodded as was about to hand the kid over when Daniel whined and tightened his grip on Karkat's neck.

"Mother of all grubs.. Fine, just quit your f*cking whining!" Karkat said with a roll of his eyes but Dave could tell he was sort of content with carrying the boy.
They walked to the hospital but before getting to the entrance, Karkat halted to a stop.

"What's up babe? Getting tired?"

"No uh... Dave, can you cover him with your jacket?" He asked with a worried expression on his face. Dave blinked once and then nodded as he understood where Karkat was getting this from. The troll boy might be something normal in whatever timeline he's from but here and now? Not so much. So he shrugged off his jacket and covered the boys head and most of his body, like he had seen some parents do to their kids when they had fallen asleep. With that, Karkat nodded in approvement and they made their way to the children's wing.

"Hi Karkat, D-Dave." Tavros greeted them seeming a little nervous. The guy looked all professional in his little suit and white coat. He had a nice smile and Dave understood why he was working in the children's wing. The dude just had a calming aura and his smile made you feel like you could trust the guy.

"Yeah yeah, good to see you too and blablabla/" Karkat said but Dave noticed his voice shook a little, "Do you have a private office where we can talk or something? I can't f*cking do this in the hallway/" he said, his voice low again.

"Yeah sure, follow me guys." He gestured with his hand for them both to follow him through some corridors.

His office was quite large but then again, with the size of the guys f*cking horns... It was filled with dolls and stuffed toys like every pediatrician office Dave had ever seen. He made his way to his desk and sat on the ledge of it. Dave just let himself lean against the wall, his hands slipped into his pocket in order to calm himself. He wasn't nervous. Not at all. He was Dave Strider and nothing made him nervous... Right?

"So... Dave, Karkat? What can I help you with?" He said as he eyed the figure Karkat was now struggling to hold up. Karkat was nervous too, Dave could tell. He let himself flop on the chair in front of the desk and turned to look at Dave, his eyes wide and searching. He did this often when he didn't know what to say. So Dave spoke for him.

"Yeah first of all thanks for doing this man. We know you're busy with all sorts of doctor issues and taking care of crazy juggalos and all," Tavros blushed at that but said nothing so Dave continued, "But we're kinda in a mess and we trusted you for the job. I would've tried to fix him up myself but the wound is just... And also the blood, but uh. f*ck, there's no way to explain this so, Karkat show Tavros what we have under curtain number one." Dave gestured to the troll in the chair.

Karkat reached over the jacket and pulled it off, revealing a sleeping or maybe passed out (Shut the f*ck up, Dave!) Daniel.
At first Tavros didn't seem to understand but as soon as he started to see the similarities...

"Holy mothergrub! You have a son?!" He said as he turned to Dave who just shrugged and looked at Karkat and gave him an "I told you this would happen" look.

"Don't get me wrong guys, I'm really happy for you and all that but I can't help but wonder..."

"For f*cks sake Tavros, we'll explain later! For now, concentrate on fixing Daniels wound!" Karkat said as he gestured to the boys leg.

Tavros looked down at the wound and grimaced a little. "How did that even happen?" He asked as he started to move around his office and taking supplies out of boxes and containers.

"f*cking dipsh*t sat in the faulty railing of the balcony. Nearly fell off until this f*cker," he said pointing at Dave, "saved his stupid ass life. But yeah, as if a near death experience wasn't enough he had to get a slit in his leg. I believe it's the world telling him to listen to his elders." He said as he walked over to the cot Tavros gestured him to put the boy down on.

Dave pushed off the wall and stood next to Karkat as he laid the boy down.

"Well that's some excitement for the day, huh?" Tavros said as he checked the boys pulse and other standard procedures doctors usually did.

"That's the f*cking understatement of the perigee." Karkat said, his voice a little shaken. Dave just wrapped his arms around his waist to give him a little comfort.

They both watched as Tavros cleaned the wound and started to stitch it up.

"So what? That's it? You clean the cut and stitch it up?" Karkat asked him after he finished.

"Well yes... And no." Tavros said with a half smile which made Karkat huff in irritation.

"Tavros. Bro, I know you're all in your doctor mode and sh*t but please explain yourself before this hot head blows a fuse." Dave said tightening his grip on the trolls waist.

"Heh, yeah man sorry. I mean, that's all there is to it right now. The blood is contained and the stitches will help the skin grow back together but you need to be vigilant for fevers or decrease of temperature. He could get a skin infection or blood infection and well, everything could get a bit worse." he said looking down at the boy. "I'm also worried because he seems to have lost some blood but... Karkat, his blood is well... Like yours." He murmured the last part.

"What the f*ck do you mean by that?" He growled and took a step forward but Dave pulled him back into his grip.

"Calm down babe. I'm sure Tavros means nothing offensive by that, right bro?" Dave said to the doctor troll.

"No, no, no! I don't mean anything like that, Karkat! You know I don't... I'm just saying, your blood his hard to come by. If he needs a blood donation, which I'm almost certain he does... I'm just saying it's not easy to find his type." he said with a sorry expression.

"f*ck... OK, fine. Give him my blood" Karkat said as he let himself loose of Dave's embrace and started to roll his sleeves up.

"A-are you sure? I know you don't really like-"

"Yes, I'm sure! Just f*cking take the sh*tty stuff out and pass it to him! He could be f*cking dying and you're here just flapping your f*cking protein chute like there's no tomorrow!" He glared at Tavros who just lifted his hands in a surrender type of manner.

"Karkat he's not in any imminent danger! And there's also the problem on his blood accepting your blood! He might not be compatible if you aren't close relatives-"

"I'm his f*cking father! And so is Dave for that matter so get your f*cking legs working and go get the things you need!" He growled at the other troll who looked perplexed. Dave saw Tavros look at Karkat and then at Daniel. Daniel then at Dave. Then he just shook his head and went out the door.

"He was just trying to help, Kar." Dave said as he slumped against the chair and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Yeah well he wasn't really helping at the moment, was he? Asking his sh*t-ass questions and that nonsense of blood color."

He grumbled as he stood next to Daniel's sleeping (not passed out) body.

"Babe, he doesn't know what's up with the kid. Heck, we barely do! Don't get all pissed at him for not knowing. He's doing us a big favor. Do you imagine if we just came to see some random doctor in the emergency room? It being chaotic, I mean the place with explode with how much sheer chaos would be concentrated in one place." he told him. Karkat didn't reply so Dave sighed and walked over to him, hugging him from behind and placing his chin over the trolls messy hair. He felt him relax after a moment. Karkat turned in his arms to face Dave and look at him.

"He's gonna be alright. You'll donate the blood and everything will be done, OK?"

Karkat just nodded and buried his head in his shoulder. "What's gotten into you? You're so worried for him... You don't even worry for me that much." Dave told him as he kissed the top of his head.

"Don't get jealous, Strider"

"Excuse me, Mr. Vantas. But I don't even know the f*cking meaning of that goddamn word." Karkat lifted his head, mouth opened for a retort but cut off by Tavros stepping into the room again.

"Ready to do this, ma bud?" he asked Karkat who just sighed and nodded.

He released Dave and walked over to him.

"Don't worry about it! I promise it won't hurt!" He smiled at Karkat; that f*cking reassuring smile of his even made Dave feel all cool (cooler) and calm. Karkat just grumbled a response and walked over to Tavros. He looked away once the needle and supplies were out. Dave new Karkat didn't like needles or anything involving blood in fact. He stood by him and slipped his hand in Karkat's and gave it a little squeeze to reassure him. As he watched Tavros work with the tubes and needle, Dave started to remember the last experience with Karkat in a hospital.

They were in their senior year at high school and it had been due to some prick who had been trying to f*ck Karkat over in their last soccer game. Dave still found it odd that Karkat had found a liking to the sport. Never thought he was the type to like any sport at all but it was actually the contrary. He watched sports and played a handful as well. Something Dave never really got into. But Karkat just seemed to like it because he could release his anger and frustration into one concentrated goal.

Goes without saying he had just joined the team because John had insisted the "three amigos" needed to take the team to the championship. Who would've thought that Karkat would actually take that statement as a challenge? Anyone, actually. The dude took everything too f*cking serious. It was at that same game that Karkat suffered his first and only (up to this point) injury that would land him in the hospital. He remembered watching the douche from the opposing team try to trip Karkat countless times in the game but the ref never seemed to call any of the foul plays. It wasn't until the asshole kicked Karkat in the shin while feigning he was trying to kick the ball that the idiot referee called him out. Though it was sort of late because Karkat had a horrible wound that seemed to be bleeding like if the Pacific Ocean had suddenly decided to come out of Karkat's shin. Dave watched as their coach called the paramedics and felt his legs move towards the guy that had caused the incident who was now snickering at the sight of Karkats grimace. Dave remembered towering over the dude and before the guy even opened his mouth, he had punched his lights out. Which also earned him a red card and got him kicked out of the game. Either way their team still won, or so they told Dave who had used the opportunity of getting kicked out to go with Karkat to the hospital. On their arrival, he recalled all the kicking and screaming Karkat did because he didn't want needles close to him or any doctors help. He had seen his eyes search his face for help as he held his hand and whispered that everything was going to OK be over and over again, trying to calm the troll.

"They'll say I'm a freak. My blood..." Karkat had mumbled.

"No one will so such thing, bro. I'll make sure of it." he had told him before letting the doctor work and fuss over the injured troll.

He felt a squeeze snap him back to the present moment. Karkat had screwed his eyes shut and pressed his lip together in a thin line.

"Karkat, open your eyes. Tavros is already done you big baby." Dave told him with a smirk. Karkat just pulled his hand out of his grip and glared at him.

"So is that it? Can you just give him the f*cking blood and let us leave?" He asked Tavros in what Dave knew was Karkat's version of a "Calm voice" though the dude wouldn't know a calm voice if it played on repeat all day and rung through his ear drums.

"I, uh, not exactly. I'm going to administer the blood as soon as I check if it's clean but really... He's not in any imminent danger. You could uh, take him home I guess?" Tavros told him as he stuck the blood vials in a little box with the initials K.V.

"Are you telling me this or f*cking asking me? Who's the f*cking dipsh*t doctor, you or me?" huffed Karkat.

"I uh, whoops. Yeah, I'm telling you. You can take him home. Let him rest and keep his leg up. Take his temperature every three hours and keep me updated on his over all state," he pulled out some medicine boxes and containers and handed them to Karkat, "Make him take these as soon as he wakes. Instructions are on the box. I'll swing by your place tomorrow to set up the dropper for the blood, you guys still live at the-"

"Yeah we still do. Is this all?" Karkat snapped.

"Yeah, uh, pretty much. Dave, you know some first aid right? You need to change the bandages every four hours or when you start seeing them get a little bloodied." Dave nodded at the instructions given to him.

"Um, OK then well I think you're set..." They all stood up and shifted towards the boy on the bed. Dave bent over and picked the boy up carefully. He was light as a feather which wasn't strange due to the fact that trolls were actually pretty light weighted. They started to walk towards the door but Tavros cleared his throat to get their attention.

"sh*t bro, I forgot to ask you, how much do we owe you?" Dave asked as he turned but saw him shake his head.

"N-no no. I'm not going to charge you anything. You're my friends... But I uh, well... An explanation maybe? That would be uh, great." he said eyeing the boy in Dave's arms.

"Yeah bro, an explanation is due and you'll get one. But not right now, we actually have something very important to do right now so we'll owe you. Tomorrow when you go to the house." Dave told him before Karkat opened his mouth to puke a ton of insults and sh*t no one really wanted to hear. Tavros nodded and gave them a smile.

"R-right. Uh, take care guys and also take care of um..."

"Daniel. His name is Daniel." Karkat said as he pushed the door of the office open and slipped out. Dave followed but gave Tavros a nod before leaving the room.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The ride back had been silent. Dave watched Karkat out of the corner of his eye as he drove them home. The troll was awfully quiet and just stared out the window, letting out little sighs once and a while.
When they got to their place, Dave laid Daniel on the couch and propped his leg up under some pillows. He pulled the boys shades off and placed them on the coffee table.
Karkat and him just sat in the love seat together not saying a word as they watched the boys chest rise up and down with every breath he took. He felt Karkat shuffle into his lap and hide his face in his shirt. He wrapped the troll in his arms and placed his chin in between his stubby horns, breathing in his strange scent of spice and cherry co*ke. Yeah, f*cking cherry co*ke. Dave didn't even understand this and found it very comical because Karkat hated cherries. Ironically enough, Dave thought the smell fit him perfectly."Just like you" he had whispered to him before he got a light punch in the shoulder.
He was starting to feel his eyelids grow heavy when he heard a knock at the door.

"Must be Kanaya. She texted me she'd be up as soon as Rose left for her classes." Dave said as he picked Karkat off his lap and got to his feet.

"f*cking Jade said she'd come by tomorrow, she couldn't find a ticket for today." Karkat said as he watched Dave walk towards the door, "Dave, just... Prepare her, would you? I don't want to take another person to the hospital because they passed out or something sh*t like that." he sighed as he slumped into the seat. Dave just tipped his glasses and winked at him.
As he got to the door he felt a strange sensation of nerves in the pit of his stomach. But he called bullsh*t because motherf*cking Dave Strider did NOT get nervous. Ever. But breathing in and out before opening the door wasn't a bad idea. So he did just that and then swung the door open.

"Kanaya Maryam, it's good to see you without my dear sister sucking your face!" He joked about the last time he had seen them when he had caught them in the communal laundry room in the basem*nt of the building. He saw the trolls cheeks color with a tinge of jade and smirked. "What brings you to Casa de Stider neé Vantas?" he said to her as if he didn't know the reason. But he did. He just liked f*cking with Kanaya. He was awarded with a confused expression from her and he smirked even more.

"Excuse me? Weren't you the one who texted me and telling me to "do like an ape and swing by" your apartment? I clearly remember you also stated I shouldn't be accompanied by Rose either. Although I'm quite curious to what it is you needed to tell me with such urgency, I also can't help but voice my discomfort in keeping Rose out of the know," she told him.

"Just messing with you, Maryam. I know why you're here. And I know you don't like keeping secrets from your matesprit but I, uh, we need you to keep this between us. In the mean time, that is."

"Dave, I'm not sure I comprehend what is happening. Is Karkat okay, are you okay? Do either or both of you need financial help? I hope you don't mind if I ask, but why so much secrecy?"

"No, no. No one needs bail money or anything and yeah, we're both fine-"

"f*cking splendid!" A sarcastic voice called from the living room. Dave rolled his eyes but didn't comment. Kanaya just seemed to get even more confused.

"Dave please, would you just care to tell me what's going on, is everything really OK?" she asked again. Dave sighed and scratched the back of his neck. OK, well here goes.

"Kanaya, it might be better if you see rather then hear me explain. Keep an open mind and don't accuse either of us of anything before we explain, OK?" he said as he stepped aside and gestured her inside. She nodded and followed Dave to the living room. As soon as the got in, Dave blocked her view and turned to her.

"Ready? Remember Kanaya, open mind and no pointing fingers, OK?"

"Yes, Dave. Now please step aside." She asked and gave his shoulder a little push.
And as Dave moved aside he could almost watch as the wind swirled around her when she took a sharp intake of breath.

"Kanaya, meet Daniel." he said in a low voice.

She turned to him with and expression Dave had never seen on her. Eyes wide and mouth in a silent "oh."

"Is he... He... He's y-your..." she gapped.

"He's mine. And Karkat's. Sort of. I mean, he has our DNA but he wasn't... Conceived? Yeah, conceived by us or anything." he said as he walked up to wrap an arm around a silent Karkat's shoulder, who was now sitting on the arm of the couch and hunched in a protective stance over the boy. Kanaya kept looking between the kid and the two adults as if she was adding up the pieces.

"Look, Kanaya I know you must have a sh*t load of questions and we'll try to answer them but not even we know all of the answers... Would you just f*cking say something instead of looking like you just discovered a strange disease?" Karkat huffed with a roll of the eyes. Dave saw her turn to him, he could practically see all the questions in her eyes but she asked something neither of them thought she would.

"May I... Touch him? I just want to know if he's real." She said in a whispered voice with her eyes glued on the boy.

"I uh. Sure?" Karkat said with such confused expression, Dave reminded himself to make fun of it later.
Kanaya walked over to the boy and let herself drop on her knees. Slowly and tentatively, she raised a hand to the boys white locks and passed her fingers through it.

"He's real..." She whispered mostly to herself. She kept stroking the boys head for a while. "His name is Daniel?" She asked the both of them without stopping the caresses.

"Yeah, Daniel Strider." Karkat murmured as he watched her with curious eyes.

"He's handsome, for a human." she smiled at him in the way Kanaya knew best. Motherly.

"Uh no, Kan. He's... He's a troll." Karkat said as he bit his lower lip.

"Don't be silly Karkat, I can see his skin and hair." she said with a roll of her eyes.

"No, Kanaya. He right." Dave told her.

"Dave, I'm fully aware of how human pranks work. I do know John Egbert quite well, you know?" She smiled at them.

"Kanaya, just... Rub his head a little to the left." Dave told her. And she did.

Her eyes flew open as she stared at the boy in front of her. Before letting out: "Oh my f*cking mother grub!"

Chapter 4: Maid Of Ecto-Science and Time

Chapter by Themortalhalfbloodgames

Chapter Text

Somethings in the world should never happen. Like people mixing all the drinks in the soda machines or letting certain pop bands cover a rock and roll song. Also, Kanaya Maryam using the word f*ck. That was just not cool. But it also meant she was freaking the f*ck out. And... It was sort of funny. So yeah, you snorted. And yeah, you might have covered your mouth to hide your laughter that followed said snort. But had it really been f*cking necessary for Karkat to punch your arm? A punch which by the way, hurt a bit because the asshole had started working out and he was getting stronger but f*ck him and the rest of the world if they thought you'd ever actually admit it hurt.

"Ouch." Dave deadpans even though he really wants to reach up and massage the area where he was hit by a short aggressive troll.

Karkat just gapes at him and then at Kanaya like if he's not really sure he heard right and like he's not sure if you laughed. So you laugh again, to emphasize a point. A point which is Kanaya using colorful language is the most hilarious thing yet.

"Oh... Oh!" Kanaya covered her mouth when she finally got a hold of the situation. "I am so sorry! I do not know what came over me!"

"The realization that you just met the worlds first albino troll? Or maybe the fact that he's our first albino troll? I don't know Maryam, that might have made me use some grotesque words if I was in your place..." Dave snickered at her and received another punch, less in force this time (thank gog), from a still open mouthed Karkat.

"Karkat, babe. You trying to catch flies in that mouth or are you suggesting something?" Dave teased. Though the only reason he did so was because he know he'd get Karkat to stop looking like a dead fish and make his brain work again.

"No, you nookstain! I am not suggesting anything and I am not planning on catching any insectoid creatures with my protein chute! I am simply baffled by what just happened here!" He ranted as he rolled his eyes and pointed an accusatory finger at Kanaya.

"Dude, she freaked out. Y' can't blame her for letting her tongue run loose once. It's not like she just insulted your momma"

"No, Dave. Karkat is right, it was wrong of me to use foul language even if I was caught off guard. One must never lose it in that way. I would blame my co-workers who seem to enjoy talking with such manners as much as Karkat, with filling my mind with such manners but the truth is I just lost my eh, cool as you say, Dave." She lifted herself from the floor and crossed her arms. Dave swore she tisked at herself for the "slip up".

"Gegus, both of you are acting like Kanaya committed a federal crime. Oh, oh wait. You guys hear that? It's the potty mouth police. They heard Karkats distressed calls and are coming to get Kanaya. Damn, seems as though we're gonna have to explain my sis why her fiance is in jail. Oh the tears she will spill, her heart will break knowing that she is to be wed with a criminal!" Dave threw a hand over his forehead in a mocking manner of sheer distress.

"Are you done? Is your southern chime act done? Can we continue to asses the matter at hand by which I mean Kanaya acting out of character or will you continue to act like your douchey self and keep letting tons of sh*t flow from your annoying wind pipe?" Karkat said to him. He wasn't wen glaring at him, he just had a face Dave knew meant he was seriously not in the mood for his bullsh*t. Not that it would make Dave quit his current bullsh*tting-around moment. And Karkat knew that, which is why he sighed even before Dave continued.

"Southern belle, honey. Ain't no such thing as a southern chime. And dear mr. Vantas I reckon we on better be getting to know each other better before ya'll start using your nasty language with a girl like m- ow! Hey now! What was that for?" Dave said as he rubbed his shoulder. Though he knew exactly what that was for, he still acted like he was completely confused as to why Karkat had decided to punch his shoulder. Karkat didn't like when he exaggerated his accent, sure he liked his little slip ups when Dave decided to rant about sh*tty music and he simply loved it when Dave got flustered during a session of messy make-outs and lost his cool enough to make him talk in his natural southern accent. But exaggerating just to get on the trolls nerves? It was f*cking annoying.

"You know exactly what "that" was for! Quit flapping your mouth like an idiot and start acting like yourself. And by that I mean your douche-Mc Strider self" he said rolling his eyes at Dave. He was not having any of his sh*t today.

"Um, I really think we should do as Karkat says at asses to the current matter. Eh, that is, the boy not me." Kanaya said curling her fingers at her sides like she was known for doing when she was getting stressed.

"Right well. What is there to say?" Dave said as he shuffled in place. f*ck he was nervous. Nope, that was not true and he would dismiss the idea right this second.... There, gone.

"An explanation, perhaps? It would really help me understand the current problem you are both handling. May I take a seat? I would prefer to be in a comfortable position so I can give you my full attention"

"Yeah Kan, you don't need to f*cking ask just sit down." Karkat said as he himself mimicked Kanaya and took a seat. As he did, he shot Dave a look that he obviously understood, so with an almost imperceptible upward quirk of the corners of his mouth, a motion only Karkat would be able to notice, he followed his lover to the couch and sat next to him, wrapping an arm in a way that might seem like he was trying to protect the black haired troll but to him was just a gesture of practiced routine.

"Are we all settled? Good. Now please, would you both be so kind as to explain this from the beginning?" She asked as she clasped her hands in her lap.

"f*ck ok... Here goes nothing. It all started when John "lame excuse for a thinking animal" tried to frick with spider bitch..."

---------------------

"Oh. So... He's not exactly your son?"

"Well geez Kanaya! Of course he isn't ours! I think someone in the building might have noticed if we had a wriggler around here!" Karkat said with a roll of his eyes.

"Ah yes. Wrigglers do tend to screech quit loud... Pardon me, you are right. My question was rather silly" she smiled.

"Wait, wrigglers screech? Isn't that weird?" Dave had fallen asleep twice as Karkat told the little story but yeah, he would totally deny it if you asked. He was currently blinking his eyes from waking up from his recent nap.

"Of course, it is quite normal. It's just as human babies with the crying. It's something we do not even care much for" Kanaya said as she popped a book out if her sylladex. Dave wasn't super at reading Alternian, but he knew enough to catch the words "raise", "wriggler" and "lusus" so he at least knew the book was some mother book for lusus.

"Here, Dave. Some of the pages are almost completely translated to English. Rose helped me out." She said as she handed the book over to Dave.

"Kanaya, I thought we specifically told you NOT TO TELL ROSE!" Karkat's voice reached his normal tone after two days of being mildly controlled to normal levels. Beneath him, Daniel shifted in his sleep.

"Whoa, ok. Maybe we should move this discussion to the kitchen. Don't want any injured troll kids waking up now, do we?" Dave said as he scooted Karkat and Kanaya into the kitchen. Kanaya watched Dave intently and made him feel self conscious for some reason...

"Karkat, please do not get ahead of yourself. I did not speak to Rose about any of this. She doesn't even know I am here. And honestly, is your thinkpan working correctly? Because how do you think I could have told Rose any of this if I had no clue about the situation myself?" She said putting her hands on her hips and staring at Karkat. She looked like she was about to tsk at him like mothers do.

"Oh. You might be right... Ok, you are right. Sorry I overreacted. I just don't want more people knowing about him. What if word gets out? Kanaya, you know what they'll think of him. You thought the same when you felt his horns" Karkat bit his lip. He would do this when he was feeling scared about a situation.

"Mmm. Yes, I will not lie to you. I was very surprised when I felt the horns. Also, when I took in the bigger picture. He does seem to stand out of normal troll aspect..."

"Stand out? Kanaya, he's like the black woolbeast in the group! He's so... Different." Dave felt his throat clench and he took a step towards Karkat, draped an arm around his shoulder and gave it a light squeeze.

Kanaya smiled fondly at both if them and circled the table to stand in front of them. She reached a hand out and lifted Karkats chin.

"Different is not always bad. Different can change the ways certain things are seen." She looked over at Dave and brushed a strand of hair out of his face, as a motherly gesture, "We all need a little different sometimes. And you both know that being different doesn't necessarily make you weak"

Karkat smiled shyly. Kanaya always found a way to make Karkat feel better about himself. She was indeed a great friend to him. Dave leaned over and Kissed the top of her head.

"Maryam, you are an angel. You were sent from the gods of glorified music themselves to help us out in desperate times. You are the bass in our lives, without you we would have no rhythm" he said to her with a small smile.

"Dave I am truly honored that you think I am in anyway a winged miraculous creature but I am only stating the truth."

"Okay, okay. All of this talk about being different and being a f*cking god about it is great but we didn't really call you to give us a raise in our self esteem. We actually need your help." Karkat huffed but his cheeks were visibly tinted pink.

"Alright, I will lend my help in anyway possible." Kanaya said, taking a seat on the counter top.

"We need to find out how John created this wriggler, find out if he actually took him from his timeline or created and ecto-copy. I also need to ask you some other things but I need Jade to be here and since I f*cking loathe repeating myself, I won't explain myself any further until Harley arrives."

"Ah. Well, I will need to call John and ask him to tell me exactly what settings are on the ecto-machine. Knowing this, I'll probably be able to determine if he's a copy or an original."

Dave had really no idea what to do. He felt kind of useless as he stood next to Karkat and watched him and Kanaya swap information about slime and ectobiology. It not that he wasn't paying attention it's just that he really didn't know the first thing about the green slime that helped create them in the first place. He had overheard conversations between John and Jade, Rose and Kanaya but at that moment all he had thought was "why do I care? Is this even important?." Apparently it was because it had landed him with a kid and now he was completely out of the know.

"... I'll go get my text books and send John a message. See if that asshole can at least do some good" Karkat said as he left the kitchen towards his own room.

Kanaya and Dave were left alone in awkward silence because Dave had no f*cking idea what had just happened.

"Dave. I know you do not really understand what we are talking about," uh, no. Not at all. "But I do think there is a way for you to help."

"Great, I'm all ears" Dave said as he sauntered over to her and leaned against the counter.

"I actually cannot determine if Daniel's timeline is our own or is from another all together. It is nearly impossible to know this unless you can feel the aura of time around him..." Oh, f*ck. Dave really did not like where this was going. "I do believe the only way to figure out about his origin is to try and locate his timeline in the continuum of other timelines." Oh sh*t... Wait, what?

"Kanaya... What?"

"You would have to search for his aura or "lifeline" throughout all the current timelines that have you and Karkat together." Oh sh*t for real. This is what he really did not want to do.

"Kan..."

"I aware of your renounce to use your god tier skills, Dave. But if you really are reluctant to use them, you could always ask Aradia for help?" She said to him with a half smile. Aradia... Okay, maybe he could work with that.

"Ok, fine I'm down with that. Ain't no way I'm using those sh*ttastic powers of mine ever again." Dave pulled out his phone and searched for the lucky contact. Aradia didn't have a phone so he would have to call the person he knew would be with her... "You ok if I make a call?" Kanaya nodded as if saying "no prob, dude. Make your life saving call." Ok, he might have seen more intention in the gesture then there really was.

He walked out of the kitchen and stepped into the dining room. Why they needed a dining room, he would never understand. Place was filled with dust and cobwebs from never being used. But whatever, Karkat seemed to entertain the idea of one day having a whole group of people celebrating some sh*tty holiday like in some of his movies, so he entertained Karkats strange wishes.
He dialed the number and it rang twice before someone picked up.

"Thup DV. How can i help you?" A lisped voice sounded through the phone.

"Hey bro, I'm actually calling for Aradia. Need to ask her for a favor"

"What kind of favor? Nah juth kidding. No need to tell me. I'll go get her, give me a thecond..." Dave rolled his eyes. Sollux was such an idiot. He was a good idiot though. Dave waited on the line till he heard some rustling.

"Hi Dave! I had a feeling you'd be calling one of these days!" a voice sort of cheery but not too cheery sounded through the speaker.

"Hey, miss ghost whisperer. I'm going to kindly ignore you strange medium power thing and go ahead and tell you why I called. I kinda need a favor.” Dave said as he rubbed the back of his head. Sometimes Aradia really freaked him out.

“Ok, go ahead and ask! I have plenty of time haha!” she laughed and Dave rolled his eyes at her joke.

“Yeah well… Here's the thing. sh*t. Maybe I should just start from the beginning…”

“The beginning is always a good place to start!”

“Yeah, so I hear… Ok, look. It all started with John deciding it was time for him to get some….”

Chapter 5: This isn't the curious f*cking case of Benjamin Button

Chapter by Themortalhalfbloodgames

Chapter Text

No. No f*cking way. Karkat did not want anyone to know about this. Enough people already know about this to have his douche friend Sollux learning about this. In fact, when he opened the door and the sh*t head said “Thup KK” and wiggled his eyebrows at him, Karkat just slammed the door in his face and absconded to his room. His room. Not the one he shared with Dave. No, his own neat, cleaning-product smelling room. He buried himself under his pile of pillows, blankets and clothes and just took deep breaths. He wasn’t panicking. He was not, he was not... Yeah, he was panicking.

“Karkat, why the heck did you slam the door in Sollux face?” a voice who was unmistakably Dave asked him from the doorway.

“I don’t know, just tell him to leave. You leave too. Leave me the f*ck alone. All you nooksniffers need to f*cking leave me alone” he said as he covered his head with a blanket.

Dave rolled his eyes and walked over to the wiggling pile. He crouched down and moved several pillows and t-shirts till he caught a glimpse of Karkats red pupils.

“Babe, come on. Talk to me and don’t shut me out. I thought we talked about this.” He sighed.

“I… I do not want more people to know, to judge… They, they might not understand as well as Kanaya.” Karkat said peeking from under the pillow covering his head. He clutched the t-shirt he was holding over his chest in an effort to calm down.

“You don’t think our friends will understand? Why are they any different from Kanaya? I mean I know they’re different, heck all the f*ckers are different. They got more variety then a bunch of english speakers with different type of accents in a convention about different ways to say mountain, more variety then-”

“Dave, shut up, you are rambling about nonsense again” Karkat said as he pushed out of his pile. Dave just closed his mouth and smiled shyly at him.

“It’s not that they won’t understand. It’s just… I mean, we have a teen troll to take care of and well, they’re not accustomed to any of this! In Alternia we would have never seen two young adults taking care of a troll. It wasn’t the way things were done. Even attempting to take care of a wiggler would’ve been enough to get you culled! An now…” He fell silent. He was afraid that his friends might not accept the teen that they might want to hurt him or worse, but he wasn’t about to say that out loud. Unlucky for him, Dave knew him all too well and figured out what was wrong with Karkat.

“You’re afraid. I know you are, I can see it in your eyes so don’t even try to act like you’re not. But hey, I’ll let you in on a secret. Think you can keep yourself from blabbing it to everyone?” Dave smiled at him that sweet smile that only Karkat was allowed to see and that made his insides flip.
Karkat frowned a little at what he said. Dave should know that he would never say anything to anyone else about what they talked in private, it was stupid to assume otherwise.

“Ok, I see you are willing to take this secret to your grave so I might as well tell you.” He leaned next to Karkat’s ear and whispered, “I’m afraid too.”

Karkat shoulders relaxed when Dave spoke those words. Dave was also afraid. Dave, the badass self proclaimed cool guy who was never afraid of anything, who always went head on and never backed down on a fight. He was afraid like Karkat. And for some reason, it made Karkat love him even more. Maybe because it made Dave seem a little less invisible, a little more… human? Well, yeah of course he was human but, a human with real feelings and not some stone hearted guy.

“Hey, you still with me?” he said nudging Karkat’s shoulders.

“Huh? Yes of course, f*ckface. Let’s just go.” He lifted himself from the pile and stretched his arms as Dave got up and wrapped the trolls waist and pulled him to his chest.

“I can’t believe you’re almost 24 and you keep absconding to blanket piles when you freak out” he chuckled as he nuzzled between his horns.

“I was not absconding! I was just surprised is all” Karkat buried his face in Dave’s t-shirt in an attempt to hide his blush. He felt Dave kiss his hair and tighten his grip.

“Sure babe. Let’s just go greet our guest, kay? Imma gentleman and I cannot keep my people waiting, ya hear?” he said with a little of his accent slipping making Karkat smile. When he talked in his natural accent it always made Karkat smile. Then again, the slip up might have been on purpose…

“Ok then lets, wait. Did you say guests? As in plural? I thought Kanaya wasn’t going to be able to come and Jade keeps changing the date of her arrival” Karkat pulled away to look quizzically at Dave. He tried reading his expression which was sort of a big task when he couldn’t see his eyes but he had learned how to look for the little hints the gave away the blondes real feelings.

“Dave. Dave who the f*ck did you tell?” he said once he saw the nervous, yet almost imperceptible, twitch of Dave’s eyebrows. But he didn’t answer. Instead he just pulled Karkat out of the room and tugged him toward the kitchen where he could hear two voices talking in hushed tones.

“... called me for help so I’m here, now please quit being a sour lemon.” The voice said.

“Yeah but couldn’t he find thomeone elth to do it?”

“I’m the only one he trusted with this, or so he told me.” Aradia said to Sollux. Karkat could identify the voices now that they were closer. He looked up at Dave when he heard what she was saying but the human just walked them towards their “guests.”

“Thats juth thupid I don’t see why… Hey DV we were just talking about you.” Sollux turned to them as they walked into the kitchen. He was sitting at the table while Aradia sat on the countertop swinging her legs.

“So I heard. Aradia, thanks for coming.” He said as the troll jumped off the counter and smiled at the two boys.

“Hey KK, you’re not gonna run away again are you?” Sollux said as he peeked over his glasses.

“Shut up, asshole.” Karkat grunted. He just squeezed Dave’s hand instead of going into full rant because he was curious as to why Aradia and Sollux were there. Dave hadn’t even mentioned that they were coming. Then again, Dave had also been very quiet yesterday while he and Kanaya searched through the ecto science books.

“...Right Karkat?” Dave said to him as he squeezed his hand to get his attention. Dammit he had spaced out again.

“I uh… What?” He said as he looked around trying to find out what he had missed. Aradia giggled and Sollux just rolled his eyes. Dave just smirked.

“Could you just go get him?” Dave’s voiced faltered a bit, just enough to let Karkat know the boy was nervous. He didn’t trust his own voice so he just nodded.

He walked back to the corridors and opened the room to Dave’s, uh, to their room to find a sleeping Daniel. Again, Karkat felt as if something was different from him but he couldn’t quite place what it was. The teens leg was still bandaged, though the bandage looked clean. Dave must have changed it when Karkat went out for food.
Tavros had come by in the morning to set the boy up with some blood bags. He recalled Tavros telling him that he needed to speak to him in private later in the week but he dismissed the memory quickly. He would worry about that later.
He picked Daniel up, carrying him like he always did; he held him like you would a human toddler. Sure, the boy was pretty tall for his ages, f*ck Striders genes, but Karkat was still a bit taller then him. He was also really light, like all trolls and since Karkat had been working out to beat Dave in a strife, he lifted him with relative ease and carried him out to where the others were, in a slow pace.

“... I can’t be certain, Dave.”

“It’s alright, I just thought…” Dave’s voice sounded off. It sounded… disappointed?
“I know Dave, I would want the same if I was in your place but things work in a funny way.” Aradia said in a comforting manner as Sollux huffed.

Karkat took three deep breaths before setting foot in the kitchen. He knew Dave would hear him taking a moment to come in so he was sure the other two trolls would hear him too.

“Please just don’t freak out.” Dave asked them before Karkat let himself back into the kitchen.

“I won’t, I already know what I’m dealing with” Aradia told him.

“I know, I meant I was speaking to Sollux” and the Karkat walked into the room.

“Why? Don’t think I’m gonna under- oh thit!” Sollux took a step back as he caught eye of the boy. His face scrunched up in distaste and he growled at Karkat and Daniel.
Karkat suddenly felt overcome with a strange feeling, as if he needed to protect the boy at all costs so he pulled the boy closer to him, covering his head with his hand and shielding him away from the other two trolls. He growled back at Sollux, bearing his teeth as a any clawbeast would do to protect their young. Protect their young? Ok, Karkat was seriously losing his sh*t but still he didn’t let down.

“Karkat it’s okay, we aren’t going to harm either of you.” Aradia said to him but when she took a step towards him and Daniel, Karkat snarled at her like a crazy old barkbeast. Yes, Karkat was definitely losing it.

“Karkat, Karkat look at me!” Dave called for him as his hand clasped around his shoulder. Karkat’s head snapped to the human and though he didn’t growl at him, his eyes still looked aggressive, like he was daring Dave to attack him.

“Shush, hey stop it. Don’t go all mother Kat on me ok, Karkitty?” Karkat scrunched up his nose at the sound of that gog awful nickname but didn’t make any other move. He could hear Aradia trying to calm Sollux down, telling him to snap out of it and that he was only behaving like this because of basic troll instincts. Could Karkat be doing the same? Gog dammit this was f*cked up.

“Karkat.” Dave was standing before him and Daniel, the sly bastard towered over him so he needed to crouch down a bit to be at eye level with Karkat. He didn’t say anything else, just looked at him in the eyes and telling him everything he needed to hear without actually saying a word. And then, without warning and faster than Karkat could even blink, he pressed their lips together, being careful not to crush the troll in Karkat’s arms. He felt his lips move against his own and after a beat, he moved his own letting his eyes close. They kissed to deliver the words they wouldn’t speak, it was a kiss of understanding and Karkat was grateful for it.

That is, until Dave nipped his lower lip.
“What the f*ck do you think you’re doing!?” Karkat said as he backed away from Dave at lightning speed. The bastard just gave him his f*cking trademark smile.

“Just thought I’d make a point”

“Your point being what exactly? Seeing if you can ruin a moment, because if that’s what you were trying to do I can promise you that you achieved it! You mother f*cking achieved it! Gog dammit what did I do to get stuck with you? I probably killed some innocent sh*t head in some other timeline so my punishment is getting to spend my days with a douch that will torture me to the end of my days!”

“You tellin’ me you think we’re going to be together till you die?” Dave smirks but Karkat can see a faint pink cover his cheeks. He takes a moment to understand the reason of Dave’s blush till he realizes what he just implied.

“I, uh no what I meant was… I didn’t or maybe I… Ah.” Great work Vantas, you totally got your point across. He raises an eyebrow at you and you’re getting ready to go into full rant when someone clears their throat.

“Eh, guys. I… Kk, I’m tho thorry. I don’t know what came over me and thit, it was jutht thupid” Sollux said looking really ashamed. Karkat opened his mouth to tell him to kindly f*ck off and to forget about it but Aradia perked up before.

“I can totally explain what happened! It was a primitive instinct for us Alternian trolls to react the way both of you did. Sollux simply reacted to the little trolls mutant aspects,” Karkat winced at the word and from the corner of his eyes, he saw Dave tense up as well. Aradia seemed to notice because she quickly made up for it, “ I’m sorry, he reacted to his visible differences from any common troll. Lots of us would act the same but a same number of us will react the opposite way. Which is probably the way Kanaya reacted and the way Karkat is reacting right now which is defending the troll from threats. Why you may ask? It is only because our brains are wired to think that, in our race, different means weak. So Karkat obviously would react in a defensive way, to protect his wiggler!” she clasped her hands in delight and smiled her creepy as f*ck smile. Seriously her smile was way freaky, even worse than Terezi’s mischievous grin.

“Huh. Weird but cool.” Dave said as Karkat gave him an expression that clearly said ”What part of that sounded cool to you?” but refrained himself from asking him out loud.

“Great! So now that we’ve put the hostilities in the past, let’s get to the real matters at hand!” Again, she grinded her creepy smile. Ugh it just made Karkat shiver awkwardly.

“You mean the fact that Kk’s wiggler ith almost hith thize and not even half hith age?” Sollux snickered at Karkat who was shuffling in place to keep the boy up in a comfortable position, not even paying attention to the stab at his persona.
“Rude and uncalled for, but no. Dave called me here for are reason, isn’t that right Dave?” The two trolls turned to Dave who was now taking Daniel into his arms to help Karkat. The troll reluctantly gave up the smaller boy but didn’t let his reluctance show.

“Yeah but I think it’s better if we all just sit down. Kid weighs a ton and I need to rest before he breaks my arms, snaps ‘em like a f*cking kitty hanging from a tree in those sh*tty cartoons and everyone starts panicking ‘cause sh*t cute little kitty is gonna die but oh wait! Mother f*cking hero comes and saves the day!” He keeps up is idiotic mumble till he’s seated on the couch and everyone else follows in his steps.

“Ok, can someone explain to me what the f*ck is going on? Why the hell did you call Aradia? Why the hell is this douche muffin here?” he said as he gestured to both trolls in the love seat in front of them.

“Yeah well Aradia is here because I needed her to do a favor and Sollux is here because… Dude, why are you here?”

“Aradia can’t drive for thit.”

“Nope, not one bit. Crashed the car five times!” she said lifting five fingers. She said it like if she had done something outstanding. What an idiot.

“Ok that’s pretty sh*tty but anyway… I called Aradia because Kanaya suggested that she might be able to help us find out where Dan comes from” Dave said as he absentmindedly rubbed the boys back.

“What the f*ck is that even supposed to mean?” Karkat asked with a confused expression.

“It means I will determine his timeline!” Aradia bounced up from the couch and walked over to Dave and Daniel. Karkat immediately tensed up but she placed a hand on his shoulder as if to reassure him she wasn’t going to harm him.

“So then, what the heck are you gonna do?” as if to answer Karkat’s question, a red light filled the room for a second and then Aradia appeared in her god tier pajamas. Karkat looked at her for exactly three seconds before face palming himself.

“Gog dammit. I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of that… Also, the f*cking pajamas grow with you? Do yours do that?” he asked Dave who just shrugged. Oh yeah, Dave didn’t use his god tier powers anymore…

“I’m not exactly sure how this works but I’m just going to see what I can find out. I hope I don’t make a time jump… Here goes nothing!” and before Karkat could even ask her what she meant by ”A time jump” she had touched Daniels forehead and vanished.
“Holy sh*t, ghost girl did it.” Dave whispered.

“Did what exactly because if you are referring to disappearing, yes she did. She poofed away faster than the bunny John vanished at the last reunion. I still can’t explain how the doofus did that but I’m close to cracking the mpph-” Dave’s hand clasped over Karkat’s mouth and the troll struggled to get out of the humans hold without disturbing Daniel.

“You never do shut up, do you? I said she did it because she actually found his timeline. Pretty quick if I might add…”

“Mmph, muuuph mmm, muphm!” Karkat spoke against Dave’s hand making him chuckle but letting go.

“f*cker. Ugh, I hate when you do that! But then… she knows from what time he’s from? How do you know she did it?” Karkat cleaned his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Yeah, she should know by now. She gathering information about this situation as we speak. As for the other question, it’s pretty obvious right.” He tapped tapped his wrist as if he was asking for the current time.

“Oh? Oh… Ohhhh!” Karkat understood. Time traveler shenanigans, f*ck.

“Yeah, she should be back in about… Now.” another flash of red and the Maid of time was back in the room. She pulled her hood back and as she did, the stupid god pajamas vanished and she was back into her regular clothes.

“So how’d it go? Had fun skipping around in my life? Did you kill any other me’s off? Did you maybe save some old grannies, extinguish some little fires and make me a hero?” Dave asked her, being an ass as always.

“Sorry! None of those things but I did gather some super cool information!” she walked back to the love seat and let herself flop next to Sollux who had fallen asleep. No wonder the sh*tface hadn’t talked!

“Gone on then tell us!” Karkat pressed after she stayed silent for a couple of minutes.

“Hmm… Well, after going through the information I gathered I don’t think I should’ve called the information cool. More like super not cool.” She pressed her lips together.

“sh*t, super not cool is something I don’t like. I only tolerate one uncool thing and it’s sitting right there wearing my shirt.” Dave said with an exaggerated look of disappointment. Karkat didn’t understand at first but when he looked down at himself he noticed he was wearing a red t-shirt with some stupid little juice box with a lame smile on it. Agh f*ck, he forgot he was wearing this stupid thing. He thought he had taken it off… Or maybe not. He actually liked this shirt, the smiling juice box made him smile too but like hell he was ever going to tell anyone that!

“f*ck off Strider!” was the best comeback he could make. Yes, he was on a f*cking roll today. Not!

“No can do, baby. We have guests!” he smirked and Karkat glared at him ready to flip his sh*t only to be interrupted by Aradia.

“Guys focus! I was about to deliver some news, remember?” She tapped her foot impatiently on the floor and looked at both guys.

“Ok, shoot. What’s the news?” Dave straightened himself on the couch from his slouching position. To anyone it would’ve just seemed like he was getting ready to pay close attention to the information he was about to hear but Karkat knew it was a position Dave adopted when he was nervous about the things he was about to hear. So Karkat extended a hand to him, palm up. He offered it as an invitation but it meant so much more; Karkat wanted Dave to know he was going to be with him no matter what the news was. Dave reached for his hand and intertwined their fingers and he looked at Karkat, tipping his shades an inch so he could see that the message was received and he was grateful.

“The news is that the boy is not a ecto-clone from his timeline. He is the real deal. John some how managed to swipe the boy from his own timeline creating a warped timeline. He managed to take the physical form of the child from that exact moment but he wasn’t successful in taking the childs his lifeline.” She looked sort of… sad? f*ck that was never good.

“What does that mean is he dying? f*cking Egbert he can’t even manage to f*ck up in the correct way!” Karkat threw his hands in the air out of irritation for the geeky looking kid.

“Not exactly dying, Karkat. You have to understand, the boy doesn’t belong in this time, he has his own timeline and his lifeline is simply pulling him back the only way it can, little by little till he reforms back to his real life.”

“Oh great and what the f*ck is that supposed to mean?” Karkat rolled his eyes and huffed in annoyance but in reality he wanted to abscond the room again and bury himself under his pile again. He was about to lose the only good thing that he had ever created. Ok sure, the kid wasn’t exactly his but he did have a part or well, some Karkat in him. Gog f*cking dammit. He hated himself for creating a bond between the child in so little time. f*cking knight of blood powers. Making bonds was supposed to be a good thing, supposed to make things easier to handle. Well f*ck you god tier abilities! You never thought about this outcome did you?

“It means… It means he is going to go in reverse till he finally ceases to exist in this timeline. He will appear in his own timeline like if nothing happened. Oh! I also forgot to mention that due to the fact that John created the warp timeline, he sort of altered the course of that time and he sort of left it in pause? It doesn’t even sound logical to me and I’m maid of time, literally!” She laughed at her little joke but fell silent again, her gaze locking on her fidgeting hands in her lap. She was always sort of happy and joked about death all the time but for some reason, she didn’t seem content with the idea of Daniel’s… No, no f*cking way. Karkat couldn’t even let himself think about what was going to happen to the troll. Heck, he still didn’t even understand!

“Reverse? What in the f*cksh*tting looneyblock nonsense does that mean? Gog f*cking sh*t, Aradia! You could at least explain it with words I can comprehend! Not your f*ckass timelord lingo!” He felt Dave tighten his grip on his hand. He was nervous ranting, he knew it was starting to show but Aradia didn’t even seem to notice.

“Karkat it is very simple to understand! He is simply going to rewind his personal timeline till he disappears from this time and goes back to his own, where is lifeline will be waiting!” she gave him a smile but the emotion was lost in her eyes.

“Rewind his personal timeline?” he asked. f*ck this sh*t was too complicated.

“Agh! It means he’s going to uh, de-age till he just… poofs. And gone.” she fell silent and looked at Karkat as if she was giving him some time to process her words. Which he was trying to. De-age? Did that mean… sh*t. He knew what it meant. It was something that he had noticed the first night he talked to the boy. Something he kept noticing everyday but he kept dismissing. He hadn’t been able to understand why he kept seeing something different in Daniel as the days passed. Sure, maybe they were slight changes but being a troll he would notice these changes; slight decrease in height, irises losing their grey, horns slightly losing size, claws appearing less sharp… The kid wasn’t growing he was doing the contrary. He was turning into a grub. And once he turned into a grub he would go back to being an egg and then, as Aradia said he’d just… poof.

“NO f*ckING WAY. NO. I cease to believe that is going to happen! He can’t just, that isn’t possible this isn’t the f*cking curious case of troll button! He can’t turn into a wiggler, he can’t go back into the stupid egg state! He can’t, he isn’t…” He fell silent. He hadn’t noticed he was crying till Aradia pulled out a little package of tissues and handed them to him. He felt Dave’s thumb wipe under his eyes but he still didn’t say anything or move.

“I am sorry Karkat. I am aware that this sounds like something pulled out of a movie but I assure you, I am not making any of this up. You can ask Dave if you do not trust me, it was his timeline I searched after all.” She turned to stare at the blonde. He moved his hand away from Karkat’s face and wrapped his arms around the boy tightly before getting up. No one said a word as he walked to the corridor where Karkat guessed he’d be taking the boy back into his room, well uh, Karkat’s room.

Aradia and Karkat just waited silently till he came back. When he did, he let himself flop next to Karkat and letting out a defeated sigh. He turned to look at Karkat who did the same. He noticed a damp area on the blondes cheek and he lifted his hand and ran the back of it across his cheek, erasing any evidence of his tears. Dave tensed for a moment when Karkat had figured out he had been crying but he let his shoulder fall when the troll cleaned his cheek.

“Is she right?” Karkat whispered to him cupping his cheek, giving no single f*cks if Aradia was looking at them. He would usually refrain himself from being affectionate with Dave when someone was with them but he didn’t have time for acting out his bullsh*t personality. Right now he needed Dave who nodded, answering Karkat’s question.

“She’s right, I could see everything even though I didn’t go myself but because I made her go through my own time line. I figured that since I had abilities close to her own, it would easier to navigate through the time loops. I could’ve done the jump myself but I…” Karkat pressed the tip of his fingers over his lips and nodded in understanding. He knew Dave had renounced to using his abilities as a Knight of time. He also knew that even though he didn’t want to use his powers, like what had happened with Karkat when he formed the blood bond with the boy, he could still sense and see things with his ability even if he didn’t want to. He removed his hands from the boys lips and shifted towards him. Dave wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him against his side.

“So he is going to turn into a wiggler and then a grub egg and then…” Karkat couldn’t even bring himself to finish the statement.

“Not exactly,” Aradia spoke up. Karkat had almost forgotten about his friends in the couch in front of him. Sollux had woken up at some point but Karkat hadn’t even noticed when. He was holding Aradias hands in between his own. “You see, I don’t think the boy will even get to that stage. I was sort of able to determine when the uh, incident would occur. The boy will turn back into a wiggler and then just… go.” Aradia said, her voice heavy with sadness. Even Sollux seemed sad.

“When?” Dave said in a sort of angry voice. Karkat knew he wasn’t mad at Aradia but at himself for not being able to do anything about this.

“It might take a few months. Maybe three or four? I cannot be certain, Dave. And I will tell you now that whatever you are thinking of, terminate the idea at once it is not going to help at all.” she frowned at him. Karkat saw Dave’s jaw clench out of the corner of his eye.

“I have to do something Aradia.” he said gritted through his teeth.

“You can’t do what you’re thinking, DV.” Sollux spoke up. He looked thoughtful, an eyebrow pulled down in a way he would do when he was calculating something,

“And why the f*ck can I not?” Dave said in a pissed voice.

“Because you’ll only manage to kill youthelf. You won’t thucceed and you’ll only manage to cauthe more death. You’ll cauthe KK a matthive amount of pain when you die. Ith that what you want?” Sollux asked him. Karkat swallowed loudly leaned into Dave a bit more who tightend his grip around his waist.

“No… I don’t want that. But how did you know what… I mean Aradia was skipping around in my timelines, she must of seen a Dave die in an attempt so I understand that she knows what I was going to do but you? I don’t get it.”

“I’m a Mage of Doom. I can thee doomed timelines and I have vithions of the decisions that made that perthon doom himthelf. That nap I took? It wathen’t a nap because I wath tired but becauthe I felt a doomed perthon in the room the moment Aradia left. Tho I fell athleep to have a vithion of the doomed perthon, which wath you, DV.”

“Well f*cking sh*t, it seems you did have a reason to come after all.” Dave murmed.

“I know! Isn’t that great how things work out?” Aradia clasped her hands together in delight.

“Amazing.” Karkat mumbled as he rolled his eyes.

They kept talking about the situation for a while longer till Aradia announced that it was getting late and they should be heading back. They said their goodbyes and Aradia made Dave promise him they’d be able to come back to see Daniel when he was better, “which would be in two days” she told him. Dave just nodded. Once their friends had left they continued their day like a normal day, or well, what had turned into normal ever since Daniel appeared.
Dave went back to check on him and change his bandages while Karkat prepared everyone something to eat.
Karkat managed to get a few spoonfuls of soup into Daniel before his medication took over him and pulled him back to sleep. Dave and Karkat ate finishing with Daniel, they kept silent not really knowing what to say to one another.

When Karkat started to yawn, Dave walked them both to their room. They changed into their sleeping clothes which for Dave meant only sleeping in his boxers and Karkat stealing one of Dave’s shirts and slipping on some sweat pants. They laid in silence for a moment, hugging each other in the darkness, Dave rubbing small circles on Karkat’s back.

“What were you going to do?” Karkat asked, finally breaking the silence.

“Hmm?”
“Your plan to save Daniel. What were you planning on?”

“I wasn’t sure yet but I was planning on trying to transfer some of my control over time to Daniel, to reverse the effect of his lifeline so it would work normal again, make him grow instead of… ya know.” Karkat felt him shrug.

“Oh... “ Karkat pulled back a little to look at Dave’s eyes, red locking on red. “I’m glad Sollux stopped your murderous thoughts. That was a stupid idea.”

“I tried…” He murmured as he bumped their foreheads together. Karkat closed his eyes and breathed in Dave’s scent. Apple Juice and pine cone. Strange combination but Karkat loved it anyway,

“Karkat?” Dave said after a while making the troll perk up. He had been falling asleep but he cracked his eyes open.

“Hmm?” He felt Dave shuffle on the bed and pulled them both up in a sitting position.

“I need to tell you something. Aradia didn’t tell ya at the moment ‘cause she figured I’d wanna tell ya this when we were both alone.” He told the troll, his accent heavy in his words.
He was nervous. Karkat’s eyebrows knitted in confusion but he nodded anyway. Dave took a deep breath before he spoke again.

“Ya know how Aradia skipped around in my timelines to find Daniel’s timeline?” Karkat nodded.

“Well it turns out sh*t didn’t have to skip around that much because, well because… Daniel’s from our own timelines.” he chewed his lip waiting for Karkat’s reaction.

“Yeah dipsh*t, I already know he’s from our timelines! He’s our son, he has to be from some Dave and Karkat” he rolled his eyes at the blonde but Dave just shook his head.

“No, no babe. You aren’t understanding. He isn’t from some random timeline. He’s from our own. He’s from our current timeline, in the future…”

Oh. Ohhhh sh*t.

Chapter 6: A prince, a seer and a witch walk into my house

Chapter by Themortalhalfbloodgames

Chapter Text

It had been about week and a half after Dave had dropped the bomb on Karkat about being parents in the near future when all hell broke lose. And when Dave means hell, he could only refer to his siblings. Mind you, they weren't his real siblings, he didn't exactly share a mother with them but hey, they had the same DNA, (or ecto-slime? Gog damn, Dave was sick of the ecto-sh*t), flowing through them so whatever. They were siblings. Brothers, the best of friends connected in some crazy deep level that no science would be able to comprehend that sh*t. It was f*cking crazy.

____________________

It had pretty much been a chill day; the kid was feeling better so he was wandering all over the house and going through all of Dave's video games. Karkat had been doing laundry and all the neat freak things he always did. Dave had entertained himself by following the troll around while he did the housework and molesting him about being "a full time mom." This went on most of the morning till Dave was practically kicked out of the kitchen when Karkat decided to prepare lunch.

"Dave, get the f*ck out of here or I swear to all the gods and by that I mean us, we'll be eating sliced wieners!" He said as he wiggled the cutting knife towards Dave's crotch. The blond absconded out of the kitchen faster than he had ever absconded in his life. He needed to protect lil' Dave at all costs from the crazy troll mommy.

He sauntered over to the couch where Daniel was currently playing Dave's old version of Pokemon.

"Whatcha doing kiddo?" He asked the boy as he flopped on the couch and leaned over the kid to get a look at the screen.

"Playing Pokemon. I've already finished this version on my pa's DS but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to become champion again..." He clicked the buttons as he switched between some pokemons.

"Huh. That's great... You should use charizard, he knows a dragon type move. Also, he's cool as f*ck." He tipped his glasses to get a better look at the screen watching as Daniel switched out his nidoking for the charizard and attacked some kingdra successfully making it faint.

"Oh, guess you were right." He said lifting his brows at the screen.

"Well don't look so surprised, I am a f*cking pokemon expert and not in the ironic way." Dave slumped back into his spot and tossed his head back. He really was a Pokemon expert. He loved to play with those f*cking little dudes for hours, only stopping to use the bathroom or get some supplies which by supplies he meant Doritos and AJ.

"Nuh-uh. My pa is the best f*cking Pokemon player ever." Daniel smirked looking awfully proud.

"I'd kick your pa's ass. He wouldn't stand a chance." Dave leaned forward and smirked back. "Also who the f*ck is your pa? Some grandparent or such?"

"No you dummy. My pa is my dad. He just told me to call him that so I could differentiate one dad from another." Daniel sagged on the couch and let out a sigh.

"Ah, lemme guess, future Strider is pa, isn't he?" Daniel gave him a shy smile and nodded. "Sly bastard, thinks he's so f*cking ironic and witty" Dave said rolling his eyes.

"Not really, dad said it had started with an ironic purpose but it just stuck. He doesn't seem to mind it. Pa said it reminded him of his hometown before the... You know." Yep, Dave knew. Before his house in Houston got blown up and turned into a f*cking lava lamp.

"So what, he still plays video games? Doesn't that lazy ass have a job to do or does he sit around defeating poor kids to maintain his title as champion?" He could see Daniel roll his eyes but before the kid could answer he felt a shiver down his spine and he tensed up.

"Hold that crappy comeback, junior." Dave clamped a hand on the trolls mouth. He listened closely, his eyes darting from one side to another. He slowly reached a hand under the couch and pulled out one of his sh*tty swords. He kept a bunch of them hidden around the house... For emergencies. Ok maybe not but Karkat couldn't bitch about it because he had his own pairs of sickles lying around the house as well.

He put a finger to his mouth to motion Daniel to be quite. The troll nodded with wide eyes. Dave got off of the couch slowly, being careful not to make it creek. He tiptoed to the balcony where the doors were wide open letting the breeze in and before he took a step out he felt the spike of adrenaline he always felt before being attacked. He lifted his sword up before the katana that was coming down sliced his face in half. The two metal swords made a loud *clang* sound when they touched.

"You're losing your touch bro. I would've heard you walk up the stairs if it hadn't been for the loud banter the mrs. is making." Dave smirked at the blonde with the anime glasses who was trying to bring his katana down on him.

"Nah, bro. I don't use stairs." And swipe. Clang. Another block from the amazing D-Strider. He was the mother f*cking sword master, no one could reach him he was, whoa sh*t, ok back to business.

"Why the f*ck are you here? Didn't anyone teach you it's rude to arrive to someones house unannounced?" He didn't really mean it, his bro was always welcome but right now, with Daniel in the house...

"Nope, motherf*cker who brought me up was a tacky lil' sh*t." Dirk grinned teasingly and swiped at Dave once again.

"Ha-ha. f*ck you. I seriously don't have time for thislittle brother," he pushed against Dirk's sword, using his speed against Dirks strength, he shifted out of the way and brought his sword down to his bro's side.

"Little brother? I ain't your lil' nothin' Davey. 'Sides, I came because someone told me you knocked up your little love bunny." He shifted again and swung towards Dave's head who was quick enough to crouch before the katana sliced him.

"Are you serious? Who the f*ck told you- I mean, I didn't get him knocked up! Don't look at me like that, asshole!" Dirk was smirked and wiggled his eyebrows at him.

"Sollux, lil' bro. We caught up at work and he might of mentioned you have a new mouth to feed." More bangs and clangs as the swords collided.

"Gegus, can no one keep their mouths closed? If I had a secret to keep from the government and it all depended on these asswipes we call "friends" I would already be blindfolded with a pistol to my temple and some crazy government dude threatening to kill me."

"That your way to tellin' me our friends are a bunch of gossipy bitches?" Swing, block, swing some more. Their swordsman skills were so good they made the strife look like a dance.

"The worst. They're worse than you and me tryin' to keep in secret the fact that Egderp lost his big V to the spider queen." He swung for Dirks side who nearly avoided the blow because he had been surprised by the information about John. Honestly they were both really gossipy. Heck, they were so gossipy that TV series, Gossip troll?Karkat liked to watch so much didn't have sh*t on the two bro's.

"You f*ckin' sh*ttin' me bro? Damn Egbert is all grown up! Who would've thought?"

"Yeah I know right? You won't believe what- oh sh*t no!" He had stepped out of the way of a blow from Dirk's katana but his sword had sliced through one of the potted plants hanging outside. sh*t, he was going to be in trouble. Those plants were the ones Jade had sent Karkat for his birthday. They had sliced through two of them. sh*t.

"Whoa, whoa bro! We need to stop or move from over here before we break something else!" He tried to step back but Dirk kept bashing down.

"Come on dude, they're just some ol' plants nothing's gonna-"

"WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING f*ck DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, STRIDER?" Karkat's sickle came down on both their swords, the curve captured both of them so with a twist of his wrist, the troll managed to disarm both boys. Their swords clattered to the ground. Dirk and Dave both raised their hands in a defensive gesture. He said "Strider" so that could mean either of them but it was probably Dave he was referring to. Dave was always in trouble even if it wasn't his fault. How unfair. And now he sounded like a whiney 7 year-old in his mind, ugh.

"Uh... Sorry? Please don't chew us out" Dirk pleaded a little. Not exactly plead, more like pretend to plead so Karkat wouldn't start spitting acid from his mouth due to his anger.

"Hey, hey baby. It's all good. No need to get all flustered." Dave took a cautious step towards Karkat who literally snarled at both boys.

"Flustered? Chew you out?! I am going to tear you both to f*cking pieces!" He took a step towards both of them, his sickles raised in an attack stance and Dave could hear a growl coming from his throat. f*ck he needed to act quick because even though Dave knew he can take him, he was tired from strifing. Dirk was in the same condition not even counting that he and Karkat are pretty evenly matched when it came to strifes.

"Hold on there, Karkat. It was an honest to god mistake! We didn't mean to slice your plants up." Dave took one step testing the waters and since Karkat didn't launch himself at him he decided to take slow steps towards the troll.

"Mistake? You assholes broke everything! You could have injured yourselfs and I do NOT want another little sh*thead limping from room to room!" He said referring to Daniel who had been doing just that for the past week.

"I'm not limping, I'm just taking my time to admire your sh*tty apartment!" Daniel screamed from the inside.

"Shut the f*ck up, bug. I do not need you to encourage these brainless hoofbeasts!" He screamed back at the kid.

"Holy f*ck, Dave. There's another you in your house." Dirk deadpanned but Dave saw his eyes widen through his shades.

"Yeah and the little bug is as big as a pain as the original. Wait until you actually see him." Karkat muttered and Dave cracked a smile.

He still found it funny that Karkat would call Daniel bug; it had happened ever since Kanaya brought Dave a book on troll biology. He had been flipping through the pages bored out of his mind, listening to Karkat and Kanaya talk about some sh*t he didn't even care to remember right now when he reached the page the talked about wigglers. He started reading about their birth from a egg thing, how they had some funny legs to help them crawl around and how they pupated once they reached a certain age when he just blurted out the first thing that came to his mind:

"Daniel's a bug"

That obviously pissed mother Kat out. Dave had just called his semi-kid (semi 'cause he wasn't actually his but sort of, so semi-kid) a bug.

"Excuse you? What the f*ck did you just say?" His brow furrowed. Dave had to pull himself out of it by explaining to him that he didn't actuallythink the dude was a bug only that their life cycle was really close to the bugs that used to be on earth and blablabla...

"Yes well, we actually are some sort of bug-like mammal creatures. So in theory, Dave you are correct." Kanaya Maryam was his savior. The women (troll-women? Ah, f*ck it.) had helped in the quest to save his ass and this helped on the creation of Daniels new nickname.

"Earth to Dave, ya gonna invite me into yer house or at ya gonna just stand there like an idiot? Not that you do anything other than bean idiot." Dirk said, his Texan accent switched to 100% seeming that they were in confidence and he didn't have to pull his ironic attitude all the way. Dave punched his arm after he finally snapped out of his memory and nudged his bro in. It seemed that Karkat had laid off the Striders when Dave got lost in his own thoughts. Thank the Apple juice lords, crises had been avoided. Repeat, crises avoided. Let's pack our sh*t up and head home boys.

"Sure thing, sheriff. Just step on through this here door and ya'll be in the Strider territory. Be careful not to get run over by some tumbleweed while ya walk in, ya here?" He said as he mocked the other blondes accent. Dirk flipped him off and punched him on the arm before walking into the house. Karkat was already back in the kitchen, his rant all but forgotten, cooking up a storm.

"So where's the kid? I need to see my little nephew." Dirk tried to sound nonchalant about it but Dave could see he looked sort of amused.

"He's in the living room watching some stupid romcom." Dave rolled his eyes.

The troll boy was just a split personality of the two boyfriends. 50% awesome as f*ck, chill as can be and a musical genius. Dave had discovered the last thing when he caught the kid messing with his turntables. Dave was all ready to unleash all sorts of sh*t on Dan but when he heard the mix he decided that his warped-timeline son was a f*cking musical prodigy, he was pretty sure the f*cker could spin all by himself too but he wasn't gonna push the kids musical expression. He was just gonna let it flow.

Unfortunately the order 50% was shouty Mcgrouchy pants with a side order of obsessed with romcoms and two large packs of young-adult-novel-reading nubby horns.

But he guessed it was better this way, it balanced the kid out in a way Dave would call perfection but f*ck that cheesy loving parent sh*t. Boy was just f*cking great.

Dan was just lounging in the armchair, his leg propped up on the sh*tty coffee table, munching on what Dave could only assume to be his hidden bag of ranch Doritos. Little f*cker kept stealing his stash of crunchy delicacies. The shades Dave had given him were resting on the border of his nose and his eyes were fixated on the television where, no surprise, he was watching Hitch. Again.

"So Dirk, this lazy good for nothing troll eatingmyf*cking Doritos is Dan. Dan, this super Kawaii anime freak is my bro Dirk." He said as he let himself plop down on the couch not really caring if Dan had listened to him or not. He probably hadn't. He was exactly like Karkat when he watched a movie; They just gave you clipped answers because they were so engrossed in their movies they didn't even bother to try and speak to you. Ugh, it was ridiculous.

'Sup, I'm Daniel Strider please leave me the f*ck alone when I'm watching my movie and we'll get along just fine." Dan said offering his hand to Dirk, who shook it a little robotically, without turning his face from the tv.

"Dan, come on you're cutting my bro off." Dave groaned. God his child had zero people skills. Yeah you stupid f*ck, you're one to criticize he thought to himself. Ok, so maybe Dave wasn't a champion when it came to social interactions. He would usually come off as cold and distant because of his cool dude façade but who the f*ck cared?

"Daniel Strider? So what, did Karkat lose a bet or something? Is that why he's a Strider now?" Dirk chuckled and let himself fall on the couch next to Dave.

"Shut the f*ck up dickmuncher, it's not like that." Karkat called out from the kitchen.

"Hahaha, dickmuncher, that's so appropriate for you Dirky. I bet Jake would like it too." Dave said giving his bro a smug smile.

"Ha-ha. Hilarious, f*cking comedy gold. Now is anyone gonna tell me the why your kid has the Strider name or what he did to earn it? 'Cause by the looks of it he's a Vantas in all the name. Kid ain't got one Strider gene in him." He crossed his arms over his chest and slouched on the sofa.

Dave shrugged as he watched the ending of the movie for the eleventh time. As the credits rolled, Dan pushed his shades up and turned to address Dirk, a smile playing on his lips.

" I'm a Strider 'cause my rhythm is way too cool for school, 'cause all the people walkin' 'round have to stop and hear my sound. Ain't got no time for f*ckers like you to question my rime. I'm a f*cking ace when I'm playing with the base. So relax and kick back, lemme fill you with my rap. My sick beats, too difficult to defeat. Don't question my Strider name, all you gotta know is that I got game." And the kid just slumped back into the chair. His face was a dead mask but Dave could see the corners of his mouth twitch into a smug smile. Dirk just had his eyebrows raised over his shades, the little guys needed to land back down on his bros face before the soared up into outer space.

"Well damn, the lil' sh*t has proven his blood. You've done good, Davey." Dirk said as his hand clasped Dave's back.

"I would say thanks but I haven't actually done one single thing, he just popped up like this. Literally popped up." Dave said to him and getting ready to explain for the millionth time how Daniel stumbled into his life and turned it upside down. Oh f*ck, now he was quoting the Thresh Prince of Bel-Air. What was the world coming to?

"Huh, well... Wait just a darn second, the kid has horns. Your kid is a troll? Bro, how the hell did it happen?" Dirk sounded confused and by the looks of it, a bit baffled.

"Yep, my son is a troll. Whoa, that sh*t could be the title of some crappy comedy movie. Honey, our kid is a troll! Has a nice ring to it doesn't it? Ha." Dave laughed at his little joke as Dirk just stared at him with an unamused expression.

"Ok fine, you wanna know the story of how we turned into parents over night? Well here goes: It has to do with John losing his big V..."

_____________________

"So ya'll got into this big mess because John couldn't keep it in his pants? Well that's one heck of a story." Dirk laughed. He seemed to find the story very amusing. Dave just pierced his lips as his bro laughed it off and by the looks of Dan's face, kid-troll didn't seem to find the story as amusing as Dirk did either.

"Yes, it such a hilarious story. We could be laughing about it all day but I have guests coming and if you plan on staying Strider, you better go get cleaned up. That goes for ALL the Striders in this household!" Karkat said as he came out of the kitchen. He looked a bit sweaty from cooking, moving around the house and tidying up what was already clean, the neat freak.

"Come on, all of you shaded douches! Stop looking at me like you've never seen a troll! Get your asses off the couch and go shower. NOW!" Karkat growled at all three of them who immediately got to their feet and walked to the nearest shower.

It was a good thing that they had bought an apartment with three showers, that gave them all time to get ready and not have to wait for someone to finish taking a bath. But they were four so someone would still have to wait, unless...

"So yeah I was thinking Karkat, you might not be ready in time if you sit around and wait for someone to finish taking a bath so maybe you might want to..."

"Very smooth, Strider." Karkat said as he rolled his eyes but took his hand anyway and led them both to the bathroom in their room.

"Score." Dave said as he fist pumped the air.

"Gross!" Daniel said before shutting the door to his now established room.

"That's how Striders roll, champ!" Dirk said before slamming the door of the guest bathroom.

"All of you are idiots and I'm an idiot for putting up with you.." Karkat said as he pushed Dave, who kept wiggling his eyebrows at him suggestively, into the bathroom.

______________________

"Let go you nookstain! I need to set the table!" Karkat said as he pushed Dave away from him.

"My bro and Dan can do that, just stay for two more minutes." Dave whined as he buried his face in Karkats hair and tightened his grip on the trolls waist.

"No, they don't know how I like things done and they're going to f*ck it up!" Karkat grumbled but let his head rest against Dave's chest. His arms wrapped around Dave's shoulders, pulling him closer.

"Cool it, we don't need you to fold the napkins into swans today. Just relax for one minute. You're practically jumping out of your skin" Dave chuckled. Karkat pulled away just a little to look at Dave with a confused expression on his face.

"Is that is one of your human expressions to say I'm a bit nervous? Because if it is, please never use it again. It sounds gross." He stuck his tongue out to show his disgust.

"You don't like any of my expressions. Nothing I do or say ever makes you happy, I might as well give up my award for best boyfriend." Dave let out an exaggerated sigh.

"Yes, you should give it back and demand a refund. You're the worst!" Karkat rolled his eyes but stood on his toes to give Dave a quick peck on the cheek.

"Come on drama queen, we need to get dressed. Please try to find some jeans that aren't ripped." Karkat muttered as he turned to exit the bathroom.

"I'll try, but I don't guarantee anything. Normal unripped pants are so hard to come by these days." Dave said as he smacked Karkats ass. The troll yelped and turned to smack Dave's shoulder.

"f*cking Strider!" He said as he rubbed his butt.

"Why yes, yes you were." Dave said and snickered when Karkats cheeks tinted red.

"You better keep your hands to yourself tonight!" He told him while he searched for clothes to wear.

"That's not what you were asking for in the shower" Dave smirked as he pulled out a plaid shirt from his drawers.

"Would you just shut up? You can't go by one measly hour without saying something suggestive or with double intention can you?" Karkat shook his head as he pulled his black jeans up.

"No can do, Vantass." Dave smiled teasingly as he pulled his skinny jeans up as well.

"Dave, what the f*ck are you doing?! Where is your f*cking underwear? You cannot go to dinner commando!" Karkat said looking at Dave like if the blond had lost his mind.

"Well sorry but since you decided to keep my underwear and by the looks of it, my shirt as well, I had no choice." He shuffled as he finished buttoning up his pants and slipping on the plaid shirt. Karkat blushed but didn't continue to discuss the matter. He was, in fact, wearing Dave's red sleeved shirt and his boxers with the little smuppets (an ironical gift from Dirk).

"Whatever... And this shirt is mine. It doesn't even fit you anymore." Karkat said as he pulled on some matching vans. "I'm going to see what Daniel is wearing, little bugger better not be wear something sh*tty."

"How can he wear something sh*tty if you bought him all his clothes? Gegus, calm down you're acting like the f*cking queen of England is coming to visit!" Dave said with an exasperated look.

"What the f*ck is an England? Never mind I don't care, just get out and give your f*ckingbro this shirt." Karkat said as he threw Dave a white shirt with long orange colored sleeves. He opened the door and a stomped out mumbling things like "what the f*ck did I do to deserve so many Striders in my life?"

Dave slipped on a pair of red converse on and snickered at his grumpy troll. His? Yeah he just f*cking thought that. Histroll... He was such a possessive little bitch. Better keep that under wraps. Wouldn't want anyone to use that against him and by anyone he meant his two adorablesiblings.

Dave sauntered out of the room and into the living room where Dirk was watching my little hoofbeast. What a dork.

"Seriously, we come back to a new earth and you still watch that kid show?" Dave dropped himself on the armchair and tossed Dirk the shirt Karkat had given him. "You need to wear that because my main man told me this is anicedinner and if I'm lucky and do what he says, I might get laid tonight"

"Ok first of all, my little hoofbeast is the f*cking sh*t and you do not get to criticize my awesome taste in shows when you share underwear with a guy who likes Sex & the City. Second of all, f*ck your boyfriend for actually having good taste in clothes," he said as he slipped on the orange sleeved shirt, "And third, I'm pretty sure you already got some about an hour ago so I couldn't care less if ya get laid tonight or not."

"Rude. I do not share- oh wait, scratch that. Dude just don't cut more sh*t up with your sword and you might get invited here more often," Dirk made a face as if saying Why the f*ck would I care if I get invited more often?but Dave already had an answer to that. "You could eat Karkats meals each time you come, I'm just saying. But hey, it's up to you bro." He shrugged like if the fact Dirk could or could not be invited again was indifferent to him but Dave knew he had just made an irresistible offer. Karkat was an excellent cook, Dave would even go as far as saying that Karkats cooking skills were as great as Janes baking skills. And Dirk's cooking skills were well... Nom-existing. Neither did he or his boyfriend, Jake, posses any culinary skills as a matter of fact. So Dirk was always exposed to fast food deliveries and crappy take out. Whenever he was invited over he would all but gulf down his serving and seconds were always a must.

"Well sh*t, fine, I'll give in but just because your f*ckin' boy friend cooks meals made for the gods themselves. Don't think that I know you ain't offering out of the good of your heart, I know your intentions. " Dirk said crossing his arms over his chest and rolling his eyes.

Dave had just noticed he wasn't wearing his shades which meant he already felt at ease with Dan. That, and he probably also noticed Dan also had freaky eye color. Then again, everyone he knew had freaky eye color...

"Don't have a clue what you're referring to, Dirky. Can't a guy just want his bro to come over more often?" Dave said as he crossed his arms behind his neck a smirked. Dirk just glared at him.

"...because I said so now walk march your ass in there and give that back, it's not yours!" Karkat's voice sounded in the hallway. It sounded like Dan was getting scolded which made Dave lean out of his seat in order to hear better. Dirk raised an eyebrow out of curiosity.

Daniel shuffled into the living room, head down and shoulders slouched and coming to stand in front of Dirk. He then lifted his head towards Karkat who just frowned at him and nodded. Dan sighed and looked back a Dirk.

"Um... I took your katana. I didn't mean to take it, I just wanted to use it for a while. You weren't even going to know it was gone and I was gonna put it back before you left..." His voiced trailed off at the end. His cheeks were pink with embarrassment and he was holding out Dirk's katana.

"How did you... I had it with me and then I just... What?" Dirk looked completely baffled. Ok and fine, so was Dave. Both of them capture logged their respective swords and there was no way Dan could have taken his bros sword... Was there?

"Holy sh*t. No, kid. No I just don't..." Dirk kept staring at him with a perplexed face.

"I'm sorry, I really am. Please don't be mad at me. I actually think you're pretty cool and I don't want you to be mad at me." Daniel's lip quivered like he was about to cry.

Dave looked over at Karkat's face who had changed from glaring at the boy to being one minute away from reaching out and shooshing the poor kid. Dave had to admit that the sight of Dan at the brink of tears was also making his heart wrench a little.

"Mad? No kid, I ain't mad I'm just very confused. I can swear to the orange soda lords that I capture logged the sword. There is no way you could've swiped it out of my hands."

"I didn't exactly swipe it out of your hands... You see, my parents gave me a "show-your-cards" modus. What the modus does is let me get a look at all the items in your log and take one. Though there's a trick; I need to be very close in order to take a look and pick an item so I had to sort of flash step behind you while you walked to the shower. Once I was close enough I just... Plucked the sword out." He gave an embarrassed grin.

Dirk's eyebrows were raised in sheer astonishment. Dave was pretty much surprised too. The little f*cker had actually sneaked up on Dirk and, he didn't even get caught in the process. That was a task even Dave found to be quite difficult.

"Well I'll be damned," Dirk said, his southern accent drawled out, "I guess you do have some Strider bone in ya. Nice work, kiddo. But if I catch you swippin' my sword again, I'll hang you from the balcony. I hear you like those a lot." Dirk said as he rustled Dans hair.

"I-I won't, promise." Dan quivered. Of course mom Kat swooped down to defend her child at the moment.

"You lay one hand on him Strider and so help me I'll slice you up like you sliced my pots." Karkat said with a grin but Dave could hear a real threat in his words and he was sure Dirk could too.

"I'll take my chances." The other blond just shrugged.

"Great, just clean up everything after you two are done killing yourselfs, ok? I hate cleaning." Dave said cutting in between the two.

Karkat just rolled his eyes at him and went back into the kitchen to check on dinner. Dan slumped on the couch and started asking Dirk all sorts of questions; why his glasses were so pointy, where did he learn to use a katana, where did he live, was he married, yeah he seemed gay, he meant it in a good way, was he his uncle now, could he give him a katana for his birthday and so many other questions that kept Dirk chuckling and rolling his eyes.

Dave just listened to the Dan and Dirk. He smiled a tiny smile as his son (Yeah, son. Might as well accept it.) and bro exchanged conversation, when he heard Karkat's voice in the kitchen. He sounded... Nervous.

Dave lifted himself from the couch and walked to the kitchen and leaned on the door frame. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Dirk lean a little from the couch to get a look see at what was going on.

"Well what did you tell her? I don't think that... Yes I'm aware that she would've... Maybe but... Yes, yes I know. We shouldn't have asked you to hide it from her but what else were we.... No, I would not keep it from him but you know I wouldn't keep anything from the f*cker... Yes, you're right I know... Fine, be here at six on the dot. Oh and please fill her in on all the details, I'm tired of having to f*cking repeat myself every goddamn time... Okay, sheesh! Bye." Karkat clicked his cell phone off and sighed. Dave pulled his shades up and looked at him with worry.

"It was Kanaya..." He sighed again.

"Yeah I figured as much. Little Rose caught on, didn't she? Took her long enough." Dave said as he walked towards his boyfriend.

"Yes but you know how Rose is! She's going to want to analyze everyone and everything and I don't want to deal with all that hoofbeast sh*t!" Karkat huffed an irritated breath of air. He let his forehead fall on Dave's chest with a thud.

"I know babe but Maryam is right. She wasn't going to be able to keep it from her for so long." Dave wrapped his arms around the trolls waist and rested his chin on the top of his head, in between his horns.

"That's sh*t. You know Kanaya was not comfortable with keeping her out of the loop. I'm betting she was the one who finally cracked and told her. Some pale mate I have..."

"Not a nice thing to say about your moirail, dude. Kanaya cares for you and I'm almost sure my little sister had something to do with Kanaya spilling the beans. Girl's more manipulative than politicians seeking votes and having to brainwash society into making them believe they're the most suitable leaders and I'm telling you, those assholess were very f*cking crafty." Karkat snorted at this and Dave was sure it was because he had used another analogy of human culture Karkat didn't even understand.

"Hey, sorry to interrupt your clickin' and growlin' session but would you mind tellin' the rest of us English speakin' folk what the f*ck were ya'll two bickering about. And in plain ol' English, por favor." Dirk said as his head peered through the door of the kitchen.

Dave looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Clicking and growling? No one had... Oh. Karkat had switched to Alternian. He always did that when he got pissed and frustrated, which I given Karkat's nature, was most if the time. Hey, that meant Dave wasn't so bad at understanding the language as he thought he was! He had actually understood everything and most important, he hadn't even noticed the troll had switched to Alternian. Pretty soon he'd be rapping in the alien language and writing his sick rhymes in alien backwards gibberish.

"Long story short sheriff," Dave mocked him again because of his southern drawl being cranked up to 100%, "Kanaya spilled the beans and now Rose is going to come and psycho evaluate my kid, my boyfriend and myself. She'll probably send us to some family counseling knowing her." The last part only managed to make Karkat groan and thump his head against Dave's chest again.

"Well f*ck. Y'all are pretty much screwed. And so am I because I'm here and she's never going to pass out a chance on analyzing the sh*t out of me... Dammit, this dinner is going to be such a flop" Dirk walked back to the living room and fell back on the couch letting his head fall back.

They all stayed silent for a while, the only sound coming from Daniels game. When someone rang the bell, all three adults cringed.

Dave and Dirk both pulled their shades back on as Daniel plucked his from out of his sylladex and pulled his own pair on.

Well, so much for being cool and at ease. All the Striders masks were back in place.

"Well that must be the dear old gal. She's early... Guess she couldn't wait to f*ck us over." Dave said as he released Karkat and headed towards the door. The bell rang twice as he fumbled at the door knob.

"Gee, sis. Hold your horses and don't get your panties in a twist, you'll have plenty of time to- oh." He swung the door open, his sentence getting cut. Jade Harley was standing in his doorway.

"Hi, Dave! Oh my god, it's been so long since we last saw each other! I know you're to cool for hugs but I think in a time like this, a hug is a must!" And the black haired girl hugged the f*ck out of Dave who just chuckled at her and slung an arm over her shoulder and returned the hug.

"Jade, you are early. And yeah, it's great to see you again. I'm glad you could make it." She pulled back and have him a buck toothed smile.

"Yes I know! The flight was real quick and I-"

"Dave, what the f*ck is taking so long out there just tell your sweet sister to get in the-" Karkat was rolling his eyes as he turned the corner and into the hall to get to the main door when he halted mid sentence as he saw Jade standing in the doorway.

"Well hi to you too, f*ckface!" Jade smiled and wiggled her fingers at him saying hello.

"Oh my god, Harley!" He crossed the hall and hugged her tightly. Dave was still amazed how great of a friendship those two had developed. It was like the friendship he had with John. It was one of those everlasting friendships he always saw in Karkats sh*tty movies where they stayed friends till the end or till one of them tragically died. f*cking beautiful.

"Haha. It's nice to see you too, grumpy butt. So much enthusiasm for me getting here, it's going to make me think you actually consider me a friend, haha!" She hugged the troll back and her smile widened. Karkat pulled back and gave her a half smile.

"Don't get your hopes up, Jade. I'm just glad you weren't Rose."

"Ouch, well that's hardly the way I was expecting to be received, Karkat." A voice came from out of the hallway, near the elevators outside of the apartment.

"I didn't know you considered me such a bother. May I ask to what do I owe such harsh comments on my persona?" Rose said as she walked from the elevators towards the apartment, Kanaya behind her.

"Oh sh*t. Well hey Rose." Dave said as he tried to play it off cool. "Er, look! You're just in time to see Jades arrival isn't that great?" He said in an exaggerated giddy voice.

"Ah I see, it's great to see you Jade. I see the gang's all here, as they say. Well this is going to be quiet and amusing and rather entertaining dinner. I feel as though it's going to be full of wonderful things, don't you think so Dave?" She smiled her smile that meant she was planning something and whatever that was, Dave did not like it one bit.

"Let's get this show on the road..."

Chapter 7: It's great when the family gets together!

Chapter Text

Dinner was going great. Everyone was being so kind and on their best behavior. That's what Karkat would have said if this dinner wasn't revolving around his bat sh*t crazy family. Yes, family because let's face it, Dave and him were practically a married couple, not that he would ever consider marrying Dave, well maybe if the chance was given he might... Not the point. But yeah, Dave's siblings were part of the package and he already consider Kanaya like the human-sister lusus he never had so yeah, family. He liked that term from the human vocabulary. They had no word for it in Alternian but that was to be expected because well, trolls didn't exactly have families. When Dave explained the properties of having and being a family to him, he decided they were a family. They did family things like getting together for some weird human tradition of giving thanks, they got together at picnics held annually to make everyone get together in one place, they would all send those cheesy and crappy photos for Gristmas that said "happy holidays from the blablabla family" (Karkat would have to place them all over the fridge because he didn't want to seem rude or throw out any of them) and they did the whole gathering together to have dinner thing. Like right now. So yes, they were a family, a whacked up crazy as f*ck family but a family nevertheless. Karkat was thankful for them. Most of the time. Ok, sometimes. Well maybe just when he was feeling sentimental and sappy because every other day they would drive him up the wall.

"Karkat? Karkat, dude don't space off on me. I need your help to survive my crazy sister." Dave nudged his side and whispered to him. f*ck, he had had a moment. What were they even talking about?

"So Daniel, I hear you're last name is Strider. Care to explain?" Rose folded her hands in the table like if she was being a proper dame. Karkat knew better.

"Yuf, daf juf how ma parenf named me." He said in between chews. Karkat glared at him.

"Waf?" He asked as if he didn't know what he was doing. Little prick.

"Don't talk when your goddamn mouth is opened you little nook stain!" Karkat told him. Did future Karkat even teach him manners? God!

Daniel swallows his food. He rolled his eyes at Karkat, who only glared at him even more.

"Yeah so anyway, that's just how my parents named me. I think my pa' once told me that my dad decided it was going to be the Strider name so I could be protected or somethin' like that." He shrugged as if it didn't matter at all, which to him, it probably didn't but as Karkat saw Rose's eyebrows move up, he knew it did matter to her.

"Ah. Do you by any chance know what they were trying to protect you from? Anything in particular? It could be a person, a group or an organization, perhaps?" Daniel shrugged and shook his head to which Rose just sighed. She twiddled some spaghetti on her fork and brought it to her mouth, "Karkat, I must compliment you on the meal. It's very delicious and I might even say you cook far better than most human chefs."

"Thanks Rose. I try. It isn't easy trying to feed a picky bastard." Karkat said with heavy sarcasm though knowing Rose, she probably took it literal

"Yeah Karkat! Your food is absolutely delicious, I wish I could eat this everyday." Jade had finished her plate and was standing up to get seconds.

"I would say the same. Though I think I'll actually be having it everyday." Dirk smirked at Dave as Karkat raised an eyebrow at the two siblings.

"Jade, let me help you. You're supposed to be my guest and I should be attending to your needs. Isn't that how human customs work? The host does everything for their guest?" Karkat stood up and walked over to Jade and extended a hand to take her plate but the black haired girl just patted his hand.

"No way! I can do it all by myself, no need to worry yourself over me. Just worry about little Dave over there." She smiled and walked to the kitchen where the different dishes Karkat had cooked were laid out.

"Lil' Dave is fine. He's actually all tuckered out from so much attention he's received from Karkat." Dave flashed Karkat a smile so devious it made the troll turn bright red.

"Oh Dave, that's so not what I meant!" Jade giggled. Karkat walked back to his chair and refused to comment on what Dave had just said but instead slapped the back of his head. Dirk wiggled his eyebrows at him and Karkat just flipped him off. Kanaya didn't even comment, she just kept eating like if none of them were at the table. Everyone let the comment slide. Everyone but Rose.

"I'm glad that having a child hasn't ruined your eh, physical relationship with Karkat, David. In fact, I see it's as good as ever." She said as she twisted her necklace around her fingers, her eyes fixated something omN Dave. Karkat followed her gaze onto Dave's shirt, the buttons of his collar were opened and exposed bright purple marks on his neck and collarbone. Dave seemed to notice as well because he buttoned his shirt up and straighten himself in his chair.

"Observant as ever, Rosalyn. Mind telling me how long you've wanted to bring up my physical relationship with my boyfriend? Maybe all night or maybe since you arrived?" Dave's jaw tightened. He was mad at her but he was brushing it off with sarcasm and witty comments.

"The later, if you must know." She smiled that smile that made Karkats skin tingle in a bad way.

"Karkat, you've been real quiet, what's going on?" Jade whispered to him as she took her seat next to him.

"You want to guess? I'll give you three tries." He said as he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, she can be a little... Well, you know." She winked at him and began to eat again.

"Daniel, stop playing with your food. If you're not going to eat it, why did you serve yourself even more in the first place?" Dave was now looking at Daniel who had his mouth pressed in a thin line.

"I don't like carrots. They're gross and hard and crunchy and I don't want to eat them." He pouted as he pushed them aside.

"I don't care if they're gross or whatever, eat your vegetables or you're not getting up from the table till I see them gone." Dave said in an authoritative voice earning another curious gaze from Rose.

"Why Dave, who would've guessed you had a fatherly bone in you?" She said to him as she sipped from her glass.
Dave looked at her and gave her a fake as f*ck smile. The siblings began bickering once again. Karkat rolled his eyes and started to eat once again. No point in listening to them.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Dirk nudge Daniel. He pointed at the boys plate. Daniel looked at him quizzically and Dirk pointed to his own plate, specifically at the carrots. Daniels nodded quickly and passed all his carrots to Dirks plate.
Karkat shook his head and smiled.

"I saw that you two." Karkat smiled as he took a drink from his glass.

"I have no clue what you are talking about." Dirk said as he popped the carrots into his mouth.

"Then how did you know I was talking about you?" Karkat smirked at him.

"Oh busted, haha!" Jade giggled as she munched on her Parmesan chicken, "Oh my god, this is delicious!" She made a face of pure satisfaction making Karkat feel a little proud. Which he should be! What other troll the they know who could cook such a human meal and succeed? None, none at all.

"As much as I adore to hear all of your wonderful conversations, I do think all of us have finished our meals. It would be nice to clear the table and drink some coffee in the living room, don't you think?" Kanaya said as she dabbed her black lips with a napkin.

"Why yes Kanaya, I believe that we could continue our conversation over a cup of coffee Dave." She smiled at him and pushed back from the table to get up.

"Jade, are you done? If you want more I won't mind staying with you till you're finished. Also I don't want to listen to those taint shafts keep bickering." Karkat looked at Jade with pleading eyes. He really didn't want to continue talking with Rose.

"Nah, I'm finished. I'll go help you make some coffee though!" She patted Karkats arm and jumped to her feet. She gave him a face as if saying "you're gonna have to face her some day." What a f*cking traitor. Karkat got up from the table and picked his own plate up. He took Rose, Kanaya and Dave's plates as well and was about to pick up Daniel's plate when Dirk held a hand up to him.

"Get up, lil' man. Your dishes aren't gonna wash themselves you know." He patted Daniel's arm. The kid sighed but got up anyway. Karkat gave Dirk a nod to which the blonde responded with a wink. Or that's what Karkat thought because his sh*tty anime shades were in the way. f*ck all the Striders and their shades.

Rose and Kanaya made their way to the living room thanking Karkat for clearing their plates. They walked to slowly talking in hushed tones like they were plotting something. Dirk and Daniel went into the kitchen, each holding their respective empty plates. Jade picked up several glasses and followed them.
Dave was just sitting in his place, arms crossed and clearly irritated. Karkat rolled his eyes and set the plates back on the table. He walked over to Dave and stood at his side till he looked up.

"What?" He asked.

"What do you mean what? Get the f*ck up and stop pouting like a little grub." Karkat glared at him but stopped as soon as Dave tipped his glasses and looked at him with sad eyes.

"No way, can't we just kick them all out? I don't wanna deal with my crazy sister again." He pulled self-consciously at his collar as he said it. Karkat sighed and wrapped his arms around Dave. In the current position, Dave sitting and Karkat standing, Dave had access to the trolls waist which he hugged towards him and buried his face in it. Karkat smiled and ran his fingers through his soft blond hair.

"Just hang on a while. Do you think I'm happy that she's picked at every f*cking seam of our life? She's a f*cking handful but I can handle it and so should you." Dave groaned but nodded anyway. Karkat tugged on his sleeve to get him to stand.

"Fine, fine. But remind me never to invite her over." He picked up the plates Karkat had left on the table and walked towards the kitchen.

"I will remind you that we didn't invite her. She practically invited herself. Don't you f*cking humans know that it's rude to arrive at someone's house uninvited?" Karkat said as he followed Dave into the kitchen.

"No." Dirk said as he finished washing his plate. Karkat rolled his eyes and flipped him off.

"I announced my arrival! Also, the coffee is finished." Jade said as she turned to look at the troll.

"Can I go to my room now? You guys are really boring me." Daniel said as he stuck his plate in the dishwasher. Dave turned his head toward the kid and sighed.

"Goddamn. Sure Dan, save yourself. But you better be in bed by 10:30. If I go check on you and your awake, so help me bug..." Dave said as he started to place the dishes in the dishwasher as well. Dan nodded, smiled and then ran out of the kitchen.

"Be careful and don't... Ugh, why do I even try? Little sh*t is going to kill me." Karkat said as he pulled some coffee mugs out of the cupboards and watched Daniel run out of the kitchen.

Dirk and Dave decided to head out of the kitchen claiming it was "too crowded". Lazy bastards just didn't want to help. luckily Jade helped Karkat serve the coffee and place the mugs on a tray so he could take them outside. They both walked into the living room, Dave and Rose kept bickering while Dirk and Kanaya looked at them with boredom.

"Rose, coffee!" Kanaya said as she tugged at her fiancées wrist to get her attention.

"Oh, thank you so much Karkat." She said to which Karkat just nodded. He took a seat next to Dave and patted his knee. Dave was fuming but he didn't let anyone notice. Though Karkat could tell by the way he was drumming his fingers on the armrest.

"Oh! I forgot I had brought some cake for dessert. Jane baked it, it's chocolate." Jade smiled as she went back into the kitchen to retrieve said cake.

"f*cking finally! Something good came out of this night." Dirk said as he straightened his back in the chair he was sitting on.

"Oh Dirk I had forgotten to ask you, how are you doing with Jake? Are you both alright? Are you alright?" Rose asked him sweetly. But Karkat know she was trying to get him to talk.

"Everything's fine, Rosey. We're all fine. Fantastic, even."

"Do you mean this in a sarcastic way, Dirk? Because-"

"Oh look Jade's back with cake!" Karkat said as he stood to help Jade place the cake on the coffee table.

"I rather do enjoy Jane's pastries. They are wonderful, even for human food standards." Kanaya said as she cut herself a piece.

"Daniel, you want some cake?" Dave called out to the troll who was in his room. The kid took less than five seconds to walk into the living room.

"What cake is it?" He asked, his DS in hand.

"Jane made it! It's chocolate!" Jade said as she offered him a piece.

"Chocolate? Mmm... My dad didn't let me have chocolate." He mumbled

"Come on kid, your dads not here. Only this younger less strict version of himself and I don't think he'll say anything. Come on Dan, Jane made it!" Dave took the plate from Jade's hand and passed it to Daniel who still looked unsure. Come to think of it, it was rather odd that future Dad Karkat didn't let him eat chocolate. Karkat liked chocolate.
He didn't eat much because Dave was sort of allergic to it but...

"Dave maybe you shouldn't feed your child something that one of his parents had prohibited." Rose said in a cautious tone.

"Don't be such a party pooper, Rose. Let the kid have some cake." Dave said handing Dan a fork.

"Dave maybe-"

"Come on babe, you gonna rain on the parade too?"

"I'm not raining on any f*cking parade I just think that maybe Rose might be right!" Karkat yelled at Dave who just rolled his eyes. Daniel shrugged and took a bite of the cake. And then another, and another... Soon the cake in his plate was gone.

"Damn, this cake. This cake! I could leave Jake for this cake." Dirk said as he cut himself a second piece.

"It is quite good. I would love to have the recipe." Kanaya took careful bites of it. Daniel coughed a bit and Karkat looked over at him. Daniel just wiped his mouth with a napkin.

"Good luck with that! Jane never shares her recipes! She keeps them all tucked into her sylladex and-" Loud throaty coughs interrupted Jade. Daniel was coughing with a lot of force.

"Dan, what's wrong?" Dave asked him patting his back a the kid kept coughing. Karkat walked to his side and looked at the boy with worried eyes.

"Throat, it hurts. It itches..." He took a deep breath and coughed again, "I feel like I can't breathe!" He clawed at his neck and went into another coughing fit.

"Daniel, you can't breathe?!" Karkat looked over at Rose who was looking at the boy. She turned and looked at Karkat and he knew his suspicions were right.
Daniel was having an allergic reaction.

"Dave grab Daniel we need to go to the hospital, now!" He got up took his wallet and phone.

"What? What's happening why-"

"Dave! Move, now! Stop asking questions and just do it! God Dammit where are our f*cking keys?!" Karkat flipped pillows over looking for those goddamn keys.

"Come on, I'll take you. I have my keys right here." Dirk got up from the sofa and walked over to Dave. He shook his shoulder till Dave's head snapped up. He nodded and picked Dan up.

"Maybe I should take them. I know the doctors at the hospital quite well." Rose said as she stood up as well. She remained calm but her eyes flickered to the boy and her brows would scrunch up in worry.

"I don't f*cking care who takes us I just want to go now!" Karkat opened the front door and ushered Dave out.

They walked to the elevator and after what seemed to be forever, they walked out of the building and into Dirks car. Rose sat in the front with Dirk and Karkat went in the back with Dave. He brushed off some strands of hair from Daniels face. He didn't even ask if Jade and Kanaya were coming. He just tapped Dirks seat who nodded in understanding.

The ride to the hospital was quite. Dave kept looking at Karkat waiting for him to meet his eyes. Waiting for both of them to have the silent conversation they had by just looking at each other in the eyes. But Karkat didn't want to see Dave right now.

Rose tapped at her phone for a while and then just turned to tell him that everything was ready and that Tavros would be there too.

Karkat looked down at the boy who looked feverish and was sweating cold, his jaw tense. His heart clenched at the sight of Daniel's pain. Oh god, he just hoped they would get there in time.

________________________

"We'll uh, have to monitor him. His body absorbed a lot of the substance and it's making him sick. But he'll be alright, Karkat. He just needs to make it through two tough days and that's it. Two days." Tavros patted Karkats shoulder and gave him a small smile before he left and went to talk to Rose.

He saw Dave mumble something to Dirk who's just nodded and walked out of the small waiting room that was now empty.

"How's the kid? Is he going to be alright?" Dave asked as he approached Karkat. His shoulders slumped and his glasses tucked into his shirt.

"He just needs to get through these two days and then he'll get better I hope."

"He'll pull through, he's strong. A little bit of that cake won't-"

"What? Are you listening to yourself? Your future son is in that room right now breathing through a f*cking tube and all you can say ishe'll pull through ?! What the f*ck is wrong with you?! He could've died! All because you kept insisting after me and Rose told you to-"

"Well what the f*ck do you want me to do?! Weep over his sleeping body? Get down in the dumps? That's not how I am Karkat." Dave said interrupting Karkat.

"You're an asshole, Dave. Everything that has happened to that boy has been your f*cking fault. You're careless and irresponsible. I know that your guardian raised you and didn't give a f*ck about you but I care for this boy and I'm not going to treat him like your abusive brother treated you!" Dave flinched at the last part. His jaw tensed and his eyes remained blank.

"You think I'm being abusive? You think I want to raise him like I was raised? You don't even know how I was raised! What makes you think you know anything?! You're here, clawing your eyes out for a boy we're going to lose in a couple of months!" Dave's mouth stayed opened when he realized what he said. Karkat felt tears pool in his eyes. Dave didn't want Daniel. That's it, wasn't it? That's why he didn't seem to care.

"Karkat I didn't-"

"I know your lu- Bro didn't care about you so much or at least had a f*cked up way of showing it, but I care about Dan. And I'm going to stay with him even if I only have him for a few months." Karkat could see the hurt flash in his eyes when he mentioned Bro. He also saw that hurt be replaced by anger and fury, "Go home, Dave. Jade is still our guest and she deserves to be attended like one." Karkat clenched his fist in an attempt to not cry.

"No Karkat, you can't just-"

"Go home, Strider! Go home..." Dave's eyes opened wide. Karkat hadn't called Dave by his last name since they were in the game. They had opted to stop calling each other by their last names because it meant that they didn't trust each other enough to use their first names. That's what they had agreed on. Had being the key word.

"Fine. Good bye, Karkat." He took a step forward to say goodbye but Karkat pulled back. Dave clenched his fist and pulled his shades back on. Karkat knew he had crossed a limit when he mentioned Bro. It was a touchy subject for Dave but he needed to hear it. He needed to know... Right?

The last thing Karkat saw before he slipped into Daniel's room was a tear being furiously wiped off Dave Striders face.

Chapter 8: Everybody hates Dave

Chapter Text

Dave walked out of the recovery wing and headed towards the hospital’s cafeteria. He was mad. Ok no, he was beyond mad, he was f*cking pissed. His fist were clenched and his jaw was tense.

How the f*ck could Karkat even say those things about Bro? Sure, Bro was a bit... Strange. He had also brought Dave up in an untypical way but... Ok fine, Bro had been a bad guardian. But that didn't mean Dave was going to be bad as well. Did it? f*ck no, this was making him question everything and if there was one thing Dave hated, it was second guessing himself.

On his way to the cafeteria he passed the waiting room where Dirk was talking on the phone, probably with Jake. Rose was talking with Tavros in hushed tones, they glanced at him as he rushed by but he ignored them all and absconded the f*ck out of him and towards the hospitals food court.

When he got there, the place was mostly empty. A few people huddled in groups or pairs, some nurses or doctors drinking coffee and typing into some laptops. He sat in a corner, looking out of the huge window that was on the far side of the court. He didn't really want anything to eat or drink, he just wanted to get out of the recovery room.

He tensed up when he felt someone behind him.

"Dirk. Come to say goodbye?" Dave's tone was filled with annoyance. He crossed his arms over his chest as Dirk took a seat in front of him.

"No, I just came to say that you're being a total asshole." He deadpanned.

"Yeah well f*ck you too." Dave wasn't in the mood to listen to his bro talk smack about him. He was about yay close to losing his sh*t and strife the f*ck out of everyone who crossed his path. He’d strife with some bitches, strife so good no one would ever f*ck around with him again.

"I know you don't want to hear it bro. But you're being a pain in the ass. You don't listen and you act reckless." He sipped the coffee he had bought upon arriving. By now it was probably cold and nasty. Dave grimaced as he saw him take another sip but his bro didn't really seem to give a f*ck.

"Yeah, so what? I act like that all the time, so do you and I don't go around nagging your flat ass all the time, do I?"

"I'm not the one with a kid. I'm not the one who's landed said kid in the hospital twice in three months which by the way, makes you a f*cking idio-"

"f*ck you. You don't even know what it's like to have a kid! I've been busting my ass to pay rent, buy food, get a f*ckin' baby sitter and it’s been hell. Hell on earth. Like, motherf*ckin’ flames started comin’ out of the floor. Cracks opened and out came the shadows of the night ready to terrorize the neighborhood, assholes were getting ready to dance thriller and go down with this sh*t.”

"Yeah, sure sure. You know you have money in the bank. We all do. You're throwin' a tantrum the size of Texas because yer payin' for a few extra bills?" By the way they were seated, Dave could see Dirk roll his eyes and smirk.

"I really hate geographic comparisons. They're stupid and unnecessary, why the hell do people use them? Some people don't even know Texas, how the hell are they gonna know what size it is? And no, it's not for the extra spendin', it's cause I can't do this Dirk I can't be a dad. I'm 23 and I haven't even done half of the things I want to do. I’m like a baby bird who isn’t ready to fly gettin’ pushed out of his nest and bein’ told to find some grub to feed it’s youngling but holy f*ck, birdy Dave can’t f*ckin’ fly so that motherf*ckin’ birdy is gonna crash into the ground with a loud splat." Dave put his elbows on the table, buried his face in his hands and groaned.

"You're soundin' more like Karkat than yourself, Davey. Being all whiney and angry." He tipped his glasses, "Weren't you the one insistin' on stayin' with the boy in the first place? What happened between then and now?"

"My comic gained popularity, a company wants me to produce music for their film, my boyfriend wants to change careers... He's not supposed to change careers bro, the kid said he was going to study English-Alternian literature and now he's changing everything. Messin' up the timeline and the order of things. He wants to study to be a chef now. A f*ckin' chef. That's not how it happened in the kids timeline. f*cking troll is changing things and I can’t see them anymore, Dirk. I can’t see our timeline. sh*t head just ruined the course of time again." Dave let his head fall on the table with a loud thud.

"You're just makin' a tornado out of a breeze." Dirk said with a bored sigh.

"I think the saying goes: "you're drowning in a glass of water." Dave says without lifting his head.

"Tow-mae-toe, tah-mah-toe," Dirk said as he waved his hand, "My point is, you're acting like the world is fallin' apart all around ya. Being a parent is about learnin' how to balance your job and your family. Make mistakes but learn from them. And yer fussin' about Karkat changin' majors and messin’ around with the timeline. So what? He mixed it up a little. You of all people should know that things are not set in stone. Time changes everythin' remember? You can’t always know how everything is gonna turn out. Sometimes you just gotta take a leap of faith." He smirked as he recalled how Dave had altered their own timeline to die in the place of Dirk even though Dirk’s death had been part of the timeline Dave and Rose had foreseen to achieve victory over the game.

"Yeah yeah f*ck off. You aren't even a parent. How would you know? You're barely a few years older than me." Dave grumbled. He heard Dirk's chair scrape on the floor and lifted his head to see his bro getting up.

"I don't need to be a parent. I've got you. You act like a five year old so I don't need one of my own. And I may be a few years older but I've had a family to take care of for some time, ya little sh*t. Just... Think about what I said. Lalonde is probably gonna come analyze the sh*t outta your reactions in any second so be alert." He clasped Dave's shoulder and then walked out of the cafeteria.

Dave was left alone again. His thoughts were spinning like crazy in his head. He grunted and got to his feet as he pushed away from the table.
f*ck Dirk, he didn't even know what he was saying. f*ck Karkat for judging Bro. f*ck Rose for coming to his house in the first place. f*ck... No. He couldn't blame the kid. Not even if he wanted to. He walked out of the cafeteria and decided to head outside to get some air. He went through the section that was for ambulances and slipped outside into the night.

It had started raining at one point but Dave couldn't bring himself to care as he sat on the ledge of the emergency entrance and sighed. He closed his eyes and tried to shut the world out, he felt like crying but like hell he was gonna do so. He just needed to get his sh*t together.

"Dave, is getting drenched in rain helping you clear your thoughts or are you having a moment?" Rose's voice sounded over the thunder. Dave rolled his eyes but stood up anyway.

"Can't a guy get a little alone time with his inner demons?" He walked back to the entrance and ducked under the roof, out of the rain.

"Inner demons? Are you having a crisis of some sort? Do you want to talk about it?" Her eyes lit up like a child's light up when they're offered ice cream. Lalonde got her kicks out of creepy sh*t.

"No, Lalonde. I'm fine. What is it with you and Dirk? Come on, just say what you need to say a go." He shook his blonde hair, the drops of rain going everywhere.

"I do not know what you mean. I didn't come here to say anything in particular." She said as she leaned against the buildings wall.

"Ah, but you came to say something. Look Rose if you came to call me a dick and tell me I'm f*ckin' it up don't even bother 'cause Dirk already beat you to the punch line. It was a sh*tty punch line by the way. Saddest one I've heard in years and I'm friends with Terezi. Lemme tell ya Terezi's jokes have the worst punch lines you have will ever hear. It's like she picks random words out of an Alternian dictionary and then translates them to English. Although now that I think about it, it could be that she just translates the entire joke from Alternian and that's why all that gibberish doesn't make any sense..." Dave leaned against the wall next to Rose and sighed.

"Are you done now Dave? I understand that you are nervous but there is no need to be. You do not have to slip into your southern drawl or start gushing about unrelated topics." She patted his shoulder as he grunted.

"I don't know yer, I mean, what you're talking about. Come on just get on with it." He said as he leaned his head back on the wall.

"Very well. I think you acted foolish David. You handled this situation poorly. We warned you and you chose to do what you wanted to do instead. Your silly irrational choice is now taking a toll on your child and your relationship. Dave, he's struggling to breathe on his own and you're out here having a pity party for yourself because you can't move past the fact that Bro was an abusive brother and that you are reflecting his teachings on your son. You don't know how to take care of an infant. You don't know how to handle a family. And instead of asking for help you're just as you they say "winging it." So I'm going to say this once, Dave. Get your sh*t together." Rose's voice sounded calm but Dave wasn't fooled. He could see the anger and disappointment in her eyes. Well f*ck her.

"f*ck off Roselyn. Who the hell died and made you a mother? You're all up and nagging me but you don't even know what it's like to have a kid to take care of. You can't even have kids!" Rose flinched at that but otherwise stayed impassive. Dave snapped his mouth shut. Oh god he had really done it this time. "sh*t Rose I'm sorry I didn't mean to say it that way it just slipped out."

"I see why Dirk warned me about your outbursts. You know how to go for the kill, don't you Dave? But you are right, I cannot bare children and by those means, I cannot have a child of my own. But me and Kanaya would love to raise a child of our own if the opportunity was ever given to us. Kanaya would kill to be in your place." Her gaze seemed far and thoughtful.

"I know Rose. I know you both want to be moms. You'd be the best of moms. But Rose, Daniel is dying. Everyday. Little by little." Dave swallowed hard. His throat felt dry and his eyes burned. Was that what Karkat was feeling right now? Pain, hurt and impotence to do anything about the situation?

"Yes, Tavros explained the implications. All the more reason to spend everyday with this boy, Dave. What if he does not go back? He will die with a split up version of his family as his last memory. Is that what you want?" Dave flinched when Rose mentioned his death. She had no right.

"Rose. You can't just say those things. This goes beyond you and everyone else. You've never been in this cluster f*ck of a situation. sh*t Rose, this situation is so f*cked up, that thing with Gamzee back on the meteor is gonna pale in comparison. And believe me, that was one f*cked up mess." He lifted a hand to run through his hair but as he noticed that it was shaking, he let it fall to his side quickly.

"Of course Dave. I'm just trying to let you understand what is at risk here. Your partner, your child and your family. Think about those things Dave. I know you have never had them, what with the situation with Bro and all..."

"Shut the f*ck up Rose! Just shut the f*ck up! Ya'll need to mind your own f*ckin' buisness and stop mentioning my Bro. Yes, he was one f*cked up dude who seemed to enjoy beating the sh*t out of me and freaking me out with sh*tty puppets but that does not give you any right to talk about him so f*ck off for once!" Dave's eyes burned again. His breath was shallow like if he had just finished running. What the hell was going on with him? His cool was lost. No, more than lost it had been sucked up into a black hole with no way out. That motherf*cker would never be seen again. Lost forever in the vast mysteries of the universe
.
Rose raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest but said nothing for a minute.
After a while, she patted Dave's arm and turned on her heel to go back inside.

"You need to think about what we have told you Dave. You only get one family."
Dave counted her foot steps till he couldn't hear them anymore. 34 and the sound disappeared.

He stayed outside of the emergency wing watching as the water dropped from the trees across the street. He shivered when the wind blew. His jacket was soaking wet and his hair was still dripping. He pulled off his shades and tucked them into the collar of his shirt.
At one point he had started crying, or so he thinks. He couldn't notice the difference between his tears and the drops of rain falling from his hair.

"You'd make fun of me if you saw me right now." He spoke to no one in particular, "You'd tell me to quit being a puss* and to pull my sh*t together. Would probably make me strife with you. Beat me up and laugh at me afterwards. But you'd help me up. Offer a hand and pull me up to my feet. You'd tell me that we had a nice strife and you'd toss me a bottle of AJ and then walk back to our apartment." He chuckled and clenched his fist. He looked up at the sky and smiled. "You're probably looking at me right now and thinking I look like one of your silly animes in this stance. Everything you taught me went to sh*t because it was sh*t in the first place. You cared for me, yeah, but what a crap way of showin' it Bro. Still, I knew you cared. Even if no one else sees it." He let himself slide down against the wall. He pulled his legs close to his chest and hugged them while he rested his chin on his knees. "All that sh*t you did to me. To make me stronger, to eliminate my weaknesses. All that went to sh*t Bro. Because that f*ckass troll inside there brought me to ruins. He broke me, dude. He broke me and build me up again. He's my other half Bro. I can't live without him. I had no weaknesses. None at all. Now I have one... Maybe two. Daniel. I care for him, Bro. I just don't want to lose him. I don't want to love him and lose him. He's a f*ckin' little prick but Bro, he reminds me so much of myself, of Karkat. I can't avoid lovin' the little sh*t. And I'm going to lose him... I can't Bro, I can't. I'll fight whatever time crap I need to fight just let me keep my son!" He felt his heart clench and buried his face in his hands as he tried to stifle a sob. "Look at me. I'm standing here, talkin' to the sky! Aren't you supposed to come out in the clouds and tell me to remember who I am and all that crap?* God Bro, you f*ckin' suck." Dave sighed and rubbed his temple with his fingers. He was losing his sh*t. He was losing everything.
But only if you let it happen. Bro had once told him this when he lost his favorite plastic sword back when he was just a kid. He had cried for a while till Bro crouched next to him and told him "You can lose all the things you love the most, lil' man. You can lose it all and never see it again. But that's only if you let it happen."

With that thought, Dave got to his feet in one quick movement and walked back to the hospital, but just before, he turned to the sky and smiled.

__________________________________________

He ran through the hospital, looking for the stupid section where his kid was at. When he finally found the recovery section, he collided with Tavros.

"Please don't run in the- Oh Dave. What's up my man? I thought you left or eh, something." Tavros straightened his tie in a nervous manner.

"No, still here bro. Need to see my kid. How is he? Is he good? Bad? f*cking sh*t? Give it to be straight Tavros, I need to know." Dave tapped his foot impatiently.

"He's pulling through, or well, he’s trying to, I mean... It's hard to say, he ingested a lot of the substance that caused his body the allergic shock reaction. He's… he's already fading away Dave. Y-you already know this. This incident didn't do any good for him. His cells or eh, ecto-cells, received quite a shake. They're aging... A bit faster." He looked genuinely concerned and afraid. Dave wish he could understand some of this sh*t, at least a bit but he didn’t. f*cking ecto-science.

"So he's de-aging faster, huh? f*ck. f*ck! How much..."

"Time? Still a while, just not as much time Aradia had estimated, I guess. We're talking about two months? M-maybe January? I'm not sure. I need to, uh, analyze this more with Kanaya." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Two months... I cut his life short by three months." Dave felt like he was getting choked. He pulled his shades out of his shirt and slipped them on. "Investigate it Tavros. Do everything you can just please don't let him die this fast." He gripped Tavros by the shoulders and gave him a little shake.

"I-I'm trying, I'm trying. I'm doing everything I can but there’s so much we don't know about him. Kanaya is helping me out with everything she can, Jade, uh, she texted me and said she'd help as well. Dave, we're doing everything in our power to help you both out. Give us time." He patted Dave's hand who released his shoulder and sighed.

"I'd give you all the time in the world if I could, dude. I'm the Knight of Time and time is my enemy right now... Funny how the works." Tavros gave him sad smile.

“You should go in and see him… I uh, I think Karkat is asleep so there won’t be eh… problems.” He turned to leave but before turning the corner he called out to Dave once more, “Dave… You should um… Be prepared. He’s not the same.” And with that, he left Dave feeling worse than ever.

________________________________________________

Dave was stood in the hallway for a while. He clenched and unclenched his fists before walking into the room. As he stepped inside and peered in, he felt a knot form in his throat. Dan was hooked up to a machine that was helping him breathe. Some tubes were stuck into his right arm, his breathing was slow as well as his heart beat that beeped on the monitor next to his bedside. He looked... Small. His face had changed.
His features looked less defined, more round. Like a toddler. His pointed ears now looked less pointy and more human shaped. His horns looked smaller too. Even his teeth were different. They looked less sharp. He had de-aged a lot.

Dave almost fell to his side at once, ignoring the sleeping figure on the couch.
He felt himself cry as he held the kids hand in his own. His hand could engulf the child's small fist. This made Dave let out a choked sound. He had destroyed his son with one sh*tty decision. He did this, he was responsible.

"I'm sorry, Dan. I'm so so sorry. Look at you. You're so small... I did this to you. I ruined everything. All of this is my fault. I can't believe how stupid I was to do this." He held the boys hand to his face and cried into it. "What did I do? God f*cking dammit what did I do?" He felt like he was dying. He felt worse than ever. He was disgusted with himself for ever doubting if he should love this boy or not. He should have gave him all his love. All of it.

"I'm sorry, lil' man. Please don't leave us. Please. I... We love you. Me and Karkat. Me and your... Dad. We love you, please come back to us. Please lil' man."

Dave cried for some time, he wasn't even sure how long. How ironic that he kept losing the power over time. He cried till tears stopped flowing, till his sobs turned into hushed little whimpers and till his eyes closed out of tiredness. Before he let himself fall asleep he told Daniel one last thing:

"I'm not losin' ya lil' man. I'm going to see you again. I'm not going to let myself lose ya."

Chapter 9: Give me a moment

Chapter Text

He was pulled out of his sleep by a strange strangled sound. He tried blinking his eyes open several times till he was able to focus on the figure in front of him.

Dave was kneeling beside Daniel's bedside, eyes scrunched up and red around the edges though no tears fell from his eyes. His hair was plastered to his forehead and his hand was clutching the tiny trolls own hand. He kept repeating the word sorry over and over.
It made Karkats heart clench. He pushed himself upright and stood to his feet. He looked over at his tiny son; the boy had had one foot in the toddler age and one foot in the young children age. Or that's what Rose had explained. He cried when he saw him after the incident, he didn't understand how one stupid mistake had made his son get so... Small. Small and young. Young and fragile.
Tavros had explained that his cells weren't fully developed, they weren't meant to take on so much pressure. So of course when they were faced with something like severe intoxication, they would react the way they did. Age quicker. Or rather, de-age.

Karkat wanted to keep crying. He felt hurt and scared. He wanted to throttle Dave but he couldn't put it against him. He knew the human was scared too. He would see it in his eyes every time he was confronted with a situation he couldn't control or didn't know how to interpret. School teachings had been one. Dave would freeze whenever Daniel asked him about subjects like mathematics or English. He would claim he didn't know much about these things, would say he wasn't a good student back in his world but Karkat knew this was a lie. Rose had told him that Dave had been top of his class back when he was a wriggler. Dave simply could not teach his own knowledge. He didn't know how. He also seemed to have very short patience, he would tap his fingers restlessly when he had to help Daniel with any homework. He was also bad at going through on punishments and discipline. While Karkat was strict and liked to see the rules obeyed, he often found Dave letting things slip by because he couldn't bring himself to act like a father. He acted exactly like Karkat expected him to. Like his human lusus acted with Dave. Uncaring, cold and distant. Like a human older brother. And Karkat hated that.
He wanted to tell Dave that he wasn't Daniels brother, he was his ecto-dad and by that, he was a father! For godsakes, his crabdad acted more like a human lusus parent and the guy could only screech! But again, he couldn't put it against Dave, he didn't know any other way.

He walked over slowly towards Dave, fists clenched and heart racing. He was still hurt, still angry. Dave had dined this, that's what he kept telling himself when he looked at his tiny troll. But he could never hate Dave for doing this. Could he?

When Dave's eyes focused on Karkat he shrieked in on himself and whimpered.

So much for wanting to hate Dave.

He collapsed at the blondes side and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Dave clutched his shirt and sobbed into it. He kept repeating something that resembled a sorry but it came out like rambled words. Karkat gripped his matesprits shoulders and patted his back. At one point he felt tears sliding down his face but paid no attention to them, instead he concentrated on getting Dar to calm down. His sobs had dwindled down to some weird hiccuping sound.
Karkat rocked them back and forward, petting his hair soothingly and shooshing him.

After what felt like hours, Karkat felt Dave go limp and heave a sigh. He shuffled a little to glimpse at the humans face only to see that he had fallen asleep.
His face looked wrecked; red rimmed eyes that looked puffy, swollen lips where he kept trying to stifle his sobs by biting his lips, tear stained cheeks and his hair, his hair was an absolute birds nest and this was coming from the person who couldn't even comb his hair.

He moved under Dave once again, his arms were getting numb. He slipped his arms under Dave's and managed to get them to their feet. Sure, Dave was taller and a bit heavier than him but trolls were stronger and he could use that to his advantage.

He managed to slump Dave against the couch without waking him. He did grunt a move a little but other than that he stayed asleep.
Karkat looked at him for a minute. He pulled his shades off and place them on the little table beside the couch. He was still mad but now more than ever, he just couldn't bring himself to blame Dave. He just pitied the human.

He wiped the wet spots on his cheek and kissed his forehead. He lifted himself from the couch and was about to leave when a hand gripped his wrist.

"Don't go." Dave's voice was groggy and frail. He didn't open his eyes but his grip on the trolls wrist was hard. Karkat felt a bit of irritation knowing that Dave had been conscious when he was struggling to lift him and was about to snap at him when Dave spoke up again.

"Please don't leave me." It was a plea. Dave's voice sounded broken and hurt, raw and afraid. It broke Karkat.

"Move over." His own voice sounded strange to himself. It was void of feelings. Like if Karkat had no need to express his pain or sadness. Or maybe he was just tired, who knows.

Dave scooted to the right side of the couch, making space for Karkat. As soon as the troll took a seat next to him, Dave laid his head on Karkats lap and hugged the trolls waist. Karkat remembered Dave would do something similar back on the meteor years ago. It meant he was afraid but he wasn't in the mood to talk about it. So Karkat responded like he had done so long ago. He ran his fingers through the blonde strands of hair and hummed softly. A tune he had always liked from some lullaby that was sung to grubs back on Alternia. It was probably one of the few nice things he remembered from his home planet. Something that was actually nice and cute. Not like everything else that had been violent and gorey.
He sighed and Dave nudged him with his chin to make him continue his soft humming. Soon after the human relaxed under his touch and after a while, he fell asleep.
______________________________________________________

Karkat lifted the blonde’s head off his lap and carefully laid it on the couch. He stood up and stretched his arms, making his back pop. He walked to the door of the room and before going out, looked back at Dave’s sleeping figure and a Daniel’s unconscious body. He ran a hand through his messy hair and walked out of the room just to bump into one Jake English.

“Oh darn, I just spilled my- Oh. Karkat, how uh, how are you?” The black haired human stared at him with an expression Karkat knew all too well. Pity.

“Jake. What are you doing here?” his voice sounded f*cking atrocious. Tired and hoarse, heavy with stress and pain.

“I, well you see, Dirk called me and I-”

“Oh, figures. I forgot about Dirk and well, everyone else…” Karkat shook his head and blinked a couple of times. The hell was wrong with him?

“Karkat, are you ok? You don’t look so good, mate.” He reached out towards him but Karkat brushed his hand away.

“I’m fine English. Just a bit tired, it’s not everyday I have to save my son’s life you know?” he snapped at him but regretted it instantly when Jake’s expression changed to one of hurt. “f*ck, I’m sorry I didn’t mean it… I’m just tired.” Jake gave him a sad smile and patted his shoulder. This time he didn’t push the humans hand away.

“Would you like to join me in the waiting room? Maybe sit down and have some coffee? Here, you can have this one. Careful it’s hot!” He passed Karkat the plastic cup but when the troll reached for it he accidently let it slip, causing it to burn his and Jake’s had,

“f*ck.”

“Bloody hell! Thats f*cking hot!”

Both boys rubbed their hands. They leaned down to pick the cup up but before they even reached the cup Karkat’s ears twitched and before he knew it Dave and Dirk were standing in the hallway with him and Jake, each Strider pushing their partner to the wall behind them in a protective stance.

“What happened?” Dirk said turning to Jake and giving him a once over.

“Why the-” Dave yawned, “...f*ck did you scream?”

“Oh you Striders! It was just an accident, you don’t have to leap into action each time we scream or something.” Jake rolled his eyes and pushed past Dirk to pick up the coffee cup.

“Get off of me Dave. And go back to f*cking sleep you look like sh*t!” Karkat shoved Dave towards the door but he didn’t even budge.

“Shut up I look fine. I’m a fine ass hottie who looks like a statue carved by the f*ckin’ greeks themselves..”

“Yeah right Mr.Statue, care to explain why your shades are on the wrong way?” Karkat plucked off Dave’s shades, covering his eyes before so the light didn’t hurt him, and then set them right.

“Aesthetics, baby. You wouldn’t understand.” he yawned once more and leaned against the wall.

“So what? Ya’ll done with the fighting? Gonna get your mack on again or what?” Dirk asked as he turned to Karkat and Dave.

“f*ck,” another yawn, “you.” Dave said as he slid a hand around Karkat’s waist.

“Strider, that was uncalled for!” Jake said as he swatted Dirk’s shoulder.

“While all this mind numbing family moment is making my thinkpan leap for joy, I’m going to excuse myself and make a phone call.” Karkat pulled away from Dave but the guy had a f*cking vice grip around his waist. He tipped his shades a bit and looked into Karkat’s eyes making the troll frown.

“I’m not going anywhere.” he whispered to his matesprit. Dave still looked worried so he leaned to give him a quick kiss and whispered against his lips: “I’ll be right back.”

“Holy sh*t, all this display of human emotion is going to do me in so I’m going to part from this loving scene and in the mean time take my bruised boyfriend to get some bandages or whatever is needed to cover that wound. Good going lil’ man, you saved yourself from committing a giant f*ck up. Bra- mph” Jake covered Dirks mouth and shot both boys an apologetic smile.

“The old chap tends to talk his mouth off when he gets nervous. I’ll take him away now.” Jake pulled Dirk through a corridor.

“I guess you Striders don’t fall far from the Malus Pumila.” Karkat murmured as he watched both boys walk away.

“Excuse me, what the hell did you just say about me and my bro? You wanna go pretty troll?” Dave put his fists up lazily, “No but I’m serious what the f*ck is a malumila, some kind of weird alternian beast?”

“No, it’s not a beast. It was type of tree back on my planet. You humans always have such stupid names for trees; apple tree, banana tree. orange tree. You do know that just adding the name to a the word tree doesn’t make it turn into an actual tree right? Your stupidity never ceases to amaze me.” Karkat shakes his head and leans against the wall.

“Yeah yeah, we’re stupid creatures with no knowledge on how to create weird names for trees, sue us.”

They stayed in silence for a minute till Dave spoke up.

“Weren’t you going to make a call?”

“I uh, no. Not really. I just didn’t want to be in the same room with your litter mate and his matesprit.” He rubs the back of his neck, his cheeks coloring red.

“Oh. Yeah those to can get a bit weird sometimes…” Dave trailed off.

Again, more awkward silence. Karkat doesn’t know what to see to him and he certainly doesn’t know what he want’s to say back. He’s the one that breaks the silence once again.

“So hey… Do you think we could talk or something?” He can feel his blood pusher clench. He’s seen enough human romcoms to know where this is going but he nod anyway. Might was well get it over with, no point in trying to prolong it.
As he holds his hand and walks them both towards some exit. He squeezes Dave’s hand a bit tighter, if it causes him any pain, he doesn’t voice it. He can feel that horrible prickle in the eyes that means he’s about to cry. He tries to swallow but he can’t. He’s on the border of tears but he doesn’t say a word and keeps walking behind Dave. This was his fault after all, he had to open his goddamn mouth and spit out all those heinous things about Dave’s Bro even though he knew Dave hated talking about him. Karkat f*cking Vantas did it again. He drove another person away. He was a wreck, a f*cking mess made especially for the world to laugh at him.

Dave pulled him through the emergency exit and walked into the midnight sky. He shivered when the wind hit him and he curled in on himself when he felt the slow drizzle fall on his back.

“So look I think you know what I’m about to say…” Karkat felt his tears roll down his cheeks, warm in contrast with the drops of rain running down on his arms and back.
Dave turned towards him and stilled.

“Karkat, what… why are you crying?” He took a step towards the troll who just looked away.
“Wouldn’t you be crying to? I mean, f*ck Dave. I may be angry and irritated half the time but I do have some f*cking feelings! You can’t expect me to just stand here and take all this hoofbeast sh*t without actually showing some f*cking hurt!” Karkat’s voice quivered with hurt and more tears ran down his face.

Dave slipped his shades off and tucked them into his collar. His crimson eyes searched Karkat’s candy red ones. He was confused and he also looked hurt? Karkat wasn’t sure.

“Karkat… What?” He walked towards him and hugged him to his chest. Great work, Dave. That just made Karkat sob into his chest.

“L-let go. J-just get on with what you need to say and go…” the troll sniffled. Dave pulled away and put a finger under the trolls chin making him look up.

“Babe… What the f*ck are you talking about? I just wanted to say I was sorry and ask you to forgive me… What the hell did you think I was going to do or say?” More confusion on his face. Wait, did he just say he was going to say he was sorry?

“W-what? I thought you were going to... “ he wiped his nose on his sleeve and buried his face in Dave’s shirt that was now stained with pink tears. So long for Dave keeping his favorite shirt.

“What babe? What did you think I was going to do?” Dave put his chin on Karkat’s head and rubbed his back.

“Leave me…” he whispered as his grip tightened on the humans waist.

“What? Why the f*ck would I do that? Karkat, I love you. I pity you or however you trolls say that. I feel everything for you. You… I thought you knew that.” Karkat looked up at the sound of hurt in Dave’s voice.

“I did! I mean, I do! It’s just… All those things I said before… I thought you might hate me after that. You were so angry.”

“So were you. I thought that if anyone was going to leave anyone it would be you leaving me. I… I f*cked up, babe. I f*cked up good.” He buried his face in the crook of the troll's neck. He could feel his tears slide down the knights face.

“Shoosh. It’s going to be all right. We’re going to get through this.” Their roles changed and now Karkat found himself comforting Dave.

They stayed still in the rain for a while. Not even when the rain started to fall with more intensity did they move. They just stood there, standing in the quiet night.

“Come on, you’re gonna get sick and we all know what a drama queen you turn into when you get sick.” Dave said as he pulled Karkat under the roof of the hospital.

“I was being nice and waiting for you, asshat. We looked like a couple of idiots standing in the rain and getting drenched but I was trying to make a moment.” Karkat said with a roll of his eyes.

“You want a moment? Fine, I’ll give you a f*ckin’ rom com moment straight from your favorite movies.” He tugged on Karkat’s hand and stepped back into the rain. Once they were both standing under the streetlamp he cupped the trolls cheek and leaned in to kiss him with so much passion Karkat almost swooned. Almost.
He slowly kissed the troll with a bit more intensity making Karkat smile against his lips. He moved his hands up to play with Dave’s hair. The blondes arms wrapped around Karkat’s waist and tipped him forward only to then lift him and spin him around.

“Holy f*ck put me down you crazy asshole! You’re gonna drop me or make us fall, quit spinning me!” He pushed against Dave’s chest trying to wiggle out of Dave’s hold.

“No, f*ck you. You wanted a moment and I’m giving you a moment. How do you like- Oh sh*t!” Dave slipped on the sidewalk, knocking both of them on the floor.

“I was going to cull your ass if you dropped me. Jesus, please, no more moments.” Karkat said as he pulled them both under the roof again.

“Fine fine. But let it be know that I, Dave Strider have now successfully given you a movie moment with the cliche kiss in the rain and twirling sh*t included.” He gave him a lopsided grin, leaned in to kiss his cheek and walked them back through the maze of corridors that the hospital had.

When the got back into the waiting room, Rose got up from her seat and walked over to them.

“Where were you two? I’ve been looking all over the place for both of you!”

“We needed to talk, Lalonde. Geez, mom sorry for not letting you know where we were going. I’ll remember to consult with you the next time I want to talk to my boyfriend. Maybe plan it ahead and pick a date so it won’t clash with your schedule. Put a reminder on your phone so it can beep when the moment comes and you won’t nag me for wanting to talk to my loving troll.” Karkat rolls his eyes but smirks a little. Dave was an idiot but you had to admit that had been sort of funny.

“Yes, David that’s great. I’m glad you find its word gushing very funny Karkat but while you two were out figuring out if rain actually made you wet,” she looked at both of them and frowned, “You might like to know that your child is now awake.”

Karkat didn’t even have time to blink before Dave was pulling him down the corridor towards Daniel’s room. When they arrived at the door, he took a deep breath before turning the knob and walking in.

“Daniel?” Karkat whispered before entering and holy sh*t where he was not prepared for Dave’s reaction.

Chapter 10: A Little Fatherly Love

Chapter Text

Dave pushed past you as soon as you cracked the door open. His attitude towards the whole situation had changed in a matter of hours and although you were still feeling a bit resentful towards his actions, you felt your blood pusher speed up at the sight of his concerned feelings

"Hey lil' man. How ya feelin'? Do you know who I am?" He whispered to Daniel as he slowly walked towards him. Your eyes widened when you heard Dave call him little man. He never called him that way before. You knew for a fact Dirk called Dave that way as an endearment but Dave had never used it with Dirk, much less with Daniel.
The small troll's eyes opened up wide, mimicking your own. For a moment, it felt like you were looking at a younger version of yourself. Your breath hitched as he looked towards both of you. The similarity still amazed you. His features were still the same as how they were when you left, thank god. You had been secretly afraid he would get even younger as time passed but no, he still looked like a little troll. Maybe four or five sweeps old.

"Hey lil' dude, can you tell me your name? Do you remember anything? Come on talk to me, Daniel." You rolled your eyes at Dave. If he was going to say Daniel's name out loud it kind of defeated the purpose of asking him if he actually remembered his name. You opened your mouth to let him know this but when you saw Dan's eyes flick with recognition of his own name your mouth snapped shut.

"Dads?" His voice was small and less throaty from the last time you heard him speak. It made your blood pusher ache when you remembered it had only been a few hours ago he had been an older teen troll.

"Yeah lil' man. That's us. Your dads. We're all up and being fatherly here. Gotta get some pipes to use like Mr. Egbert. Gonna pay some bills and bake some cakes. Well maybe not the cake part, that could've only applied to John's dad but yeah... Do the fatherly stuff. Coach some kiddie soccer team, go to some PTA meetings and make you eat your vegetables. All that sh*t." You facepalmed. What the hell was that? It was like he decided to vomit words again. Holy sh*t you were going to strangle this douchebag in shades.

"Well damn, Strider. I think you just set a record. Most garbage to ever come out of a human's windpipe. Congratulations I think you even beat Egberts all time record!"

"Thank you, I try very hard. When do I get my reward Mr. Vantas? I need to show it to my family so they can finally see all my hard work paid off and all my dreams have come true. I'll shed a single tear and clench my fist and Dirk will swoon because the resemblance to all his animes. He'll give me a hi-five so damn high. Higher than that f*ckin' juggalo and believe me, the f*cker is high as can be." He smirks at you and your about to snap at him but then the most adorable sound you have ever heard fills the room and both you and Dave snap your heads in it's direction.

Daniel is giggling at both of you. His smile is wide and he's baring his little blunt teeth at you, his eyes crinkled in the corners where they've closed a tiny bit.

Dave looks to you with a genuine smile and you can't help giving one in return.
He walks over to the bed and sits on one side of Daniel while you sit at the other. You still have your arms crossed over your chest tightly.

"Do you think we're funny Danny? Think you can laugh at us? Is anything we said silly? Is that it?" Daniel looks up at Dave and gives a slight nod before Dave dives down and tickles the crap out of the kid. He laughs and pushes away from Dave with his little hands.

"Pa' please stop hehe, dad tell pa' to stop! I might pee myself!" He pushes against Dave once more and then he crawls over to you and sits next to you. He tucks himself in your side and hugs your arm.

"Alright, no more tickling. And don't relieve yourself on the bed Daniel. Only little grubs do that. Are you a little grub?" You look down at the tiny troll clenching your arm and he looks back at you.

"Nooo..." He shakes his head.

"Will you be urinating on yourself?"

"Nooo..." Again he shakes his head.

"Can you control your bladder like a big wiggler?" You pull him into your lap and he frowns.

"I'm not a wiggler I'm a big troll! See? Look at my teeth dad, they're almost sharp like yours!" He opens his mouth, points at his blunt teeth and you smile. When you do, Daniel takes his finger and pokes at your incisor.

"Be careful, Dan. His teeth are much sharper than yours and you could cut yourself on them." Dave warns him.

Daniel nods and after inspecting all your teeth with his finger he crawls over to Dave.

"Pa, open your mouth. Like this, ahhhh" He opens his mouth and demonstrates to Dave who just smiles and complies. Daniel does the same as he did with you only now he runs his finger on Dave's blunt teeth.

"Not sharp. Why are yours not sharp?" Dave picks Daniel up and sets him in his lap.

"Because I'm not a troll. I'm human. I don't have sharp teeth or horns. My ears don't flutter and my eyes are always red. Forever." He bumps his forehead against Daniels who looks confused.
He reaches up and pokes at his little horns and then reaches to touch Dave's head where he would have horns if he were a troll.
His eyes widen. Dave looks to you and tips his chin towards the light switch and you get the clue. You get up and dim the lights so Dave can take his shades off. He pulls them off and places them on the bedside table. Daniel's eyes widen again. He reaches to touch Dave's face, his fingers trailing under Dave's eyes and then he touches his own face.

"Dad, why are my eyes also red? I'm not a big troll yet. My eyes should be yellow. Am I broke dad?" f*ck. You feel like your wind pipe has been crushed and it takes a big effort for you to swallow that lump that has formed there. You shake your head and force out a smile. Dave holds out a hand for you and you walk to his side and take it, sitting at his side. You tuck your head in the crook of his neck and look at your grub.

"No baby. You're not broken. You’re special," Dave tells him, "You aren't a troll and you aren't human either. You’re both. You have the best parts of us. Your fast and strong. Your alert but not nocturnal. You have better eyesight but you also have a kind heart. You’re one of a kind Dan. And there's nothing wrong with it. Ok?" Dave looks at him he nods. He wiggles his way in between you two and nuzzles you both, a soft purr coming from you and him.

"Ah yes, two meow beast of my own. How lucky am I?" You butt Dave with your horn. He curses and Daniel giggles.

______________________________________________________________

"I don't like peas. They're green and mushy and taste like underpants!" Daniel says as he pushes the tray of food away from him. Honestly you don't like the little green spheres yourself but Rose and Kanaya have insisted he eat them so here you are trying to make the little grub eat the spheres of death, or um peas. Yuck, even the word is distasteful.

"Dan, they are good for you. Now open your protein chute and eat these green balls!" You push the tray back at him and frown.

"No, gross! I don't want to eat them! Can't I have more of the potatoes?" He pouts and you swear you almost give in and take the evil green mush away from him but Dave grips your shoulder.

"Look Danny, you can either eat your peas or I'm just gonna have to tell your uncle Dirk to take back the sword he was going to get you for Christmas to the store." Dave shrugs and starts picking up the tray when Daniel’s hand makes a grab at it.

“No, no, no. I’ll eat the green peas just tell uncle Dirky to save me the sword, ok? See? I’ll eat all of my peas.” He takes a spoonful of the green balls of utter repulsive taste and shoves it in his mouth. You have to resist the urge to grimace because holy f*ckwits if their is something this new planet should have avoided in creating, it was those little tiny balls of green sh*t. Honestly what the f*ck was humanity thinking when they decided to pluck those little things out of its vine?
“Right, Karkat?” Dave is looking at you with a raised eyebrow. f*ck you got lost for a minute. You stare at him in search for a clue as to what your answer should be because honestly you have no clue what he was talking about. Your thinkpan just blanked out for a second. f*cking sh*t for brain. Dave gives a almost imperceptible nod which would’ve been oblivious to everyone, but not you. He does this to clue you in on things went you've been lost in your own thoughts. So naturally you agree with his motion.

“Yes. Yes, Dave is right. Whatever he said you’d probably take his word for it because the lousy piece of human trash is probably right and I agree with him.”

Dave and Daniel stare at you for a second and then burst out laughing. You frown at both of them.

“What the flying flockbeast is so funny? You two are acting like a bunch of wigglers,” You raise a hand at Daniel when he opens his mouth to speak, “Don’t even think about it you little smartass. I know you are technically a wiggler so don’t even start.” Daniel starts giggling again and Dave smirks again. You roll your eyes at both of them and press your lips together trying to suppress a smile that’s threatening to break through your features. You probably look like an idiot trying to accomplish this.

“It’s a fact, all Striders are a bunch of shade wearing weirdos.” You say to them. Dave sticks his tongue at you and Daniel mimics him. You try not to laugh at their similarities.

__________________________________________________________________________

“Daniel remember this is just temporary. Dr. Nitram,” You make face when you say that. You still weren’t comfortable with calling Tavros Doctor, “Is trying to get us an injection so it will be less bothersome than walking around with an I.V. You think you’ll be ok with the injections?”

“I-I think I’ll be ok.” He looks down at his hand that has the i.v needle stuck into his vein and pokes at it.

“Dan, you cannot keep touching it. The needle might come out and it will just turn into a big mess.” You shudder at the thought of it. You would need to stick him again and well, you weren’t really up for it.

“Come on lil dude it’s gonna be ok. Let’s just take this one step at a time.” Dave picks him up from the ground and hugs him.

“Alright, alright but put me down please” Daniel laughs and pushes at Dave’s shoulder until the blond concedes and puts him back down. The small troll takes his hand and smiles at him and you swear your blood pusher clenches because it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen but you’d rather get f*cked with something pointy before admitting to it.
Once you get to your apartment floor you take a deep breathe. You know this is going to be a handful but you’re willing to go through it for that tiny grub that’s currently whacking your matesprit with his slipper.

“Daniel put your shoe on right now and stop hitting people with it. Now, calm down and behave. Jade is our guest and she would not like to see you hitting people with your slipper. Best behavior, ok?” He slips on his shoe and folds his hands behind him as he nods.

You sigh and shake you head before opening the door to your apartment. Dave snickers behind you and whispers “Nice going momma cat.” and you know this is going to be one nooksh*tting week.

Chapter 11: Inner turmoil

Chapter Text

"Oh my god you guys. Are you okay? Is everyone okay? What happened, did everything you know..." Jade looked like she was about to cry. You gave her a sheepish smile.

"It's all right. Some things happened but I think it's going to be fine. Don't worry. You should be sleeping, shouldn't you? It's late." You frowned at her but she just pulled you into a hug. You froze but patted her back.

"I was worried about you guys. All of you. Rose called and said something happened between you two and I was afraid that maybe..." You hugged her tightly. She had been afraid you two broke up.

"We're fine. It's okay now" you whispered back at her.

"Nice, so Karkat gets a hug but I don't? Where's the justice in that?" Dave spoke up from behind you and Jade looked over your shoulder towards him.

"Oh Dave don’t be silly, of course you do!” She walked over to Dave and gave him a small hug.

You felt something cling to your pants and you looked down to see Daniel hiding behind your legs. His face was peeking out and looking at Jade curiously. Dave followed your eyes and smiled at Daniel before he crouched at his side.

“What’s wrong lil’ man? You don’t remember Jade?” Daniel shook his head. This worried you. He didn’t remember Jade even though he had just seen her a few days ago. What was happening? You sighed and Jade patted your arm. She gave you a smile and you returned it, or tried to.

“Oh! I have something for you Daniel. I had it made especially for you. It was modeled after a creature found on my old home.” She walked back into the apartment and into the guest room you had set up for her which happened to be a study. You had tried to make her stay in your old room but she said she had slept in less accommodating places so you didn't insist any more.

“Come on, let’s get inside” You took Daniel’s hand and Dave followed behind you. He tipped his glasses and gave you a look but you just shook your head. You didn’t want to worry him.
You and Daniel sat down, Dave walked over to the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of apple juice. You rolled your eyes. He could be on the verge of death, the world could be on the brink of war and Dave would always want a bottle of the urine looking liquid to calm his nerves.
He walked back to the living room and slumped in the chair in front of you.

“Here, Dan. This always makes me feel better.” He held out the bottle of juice to the small troll who seemed to light up when he saw what it contained. You looked at Dave, surprised by his actions. He never shared his apple juice. You remembered the time John had come over and begged for some, Dave had refused every time. When John got fed up and went to the fridge to steal a bottle he landed flat on his back with Dave’s sh*tty sword in his face. “Dave Strider doesn’t share with anybody” had been his exact words. Now he was handing a bottle out to Daniel like if it was some random human comfort food. Whatever Rose had told him, you really wanted to thank her. His attitude with the kid seemed to have changed completely.

“I found it! I should really learn to pack in a more orderly way but who the hell has time for that right?” Jade walked out of the room, her arms behind her back and a smile on her face. She walked over to the love seat next to the couch where you and Daniel were sitting and held up an object which looked very familiar. “This is a creature who walked around the shores of my island. For some reason the animals that walked around on my island were the same creatures who took care of your dad and his friends. Their Lussi. This one is well, like Karkat lusus! He’s a crab creature.”

"Can I hold him?" Daniel asked as he reached for the plush object that looked like crabdad.

"Of course you can, it's for you silly!" Jade smiled at him and Daniel smiled brightly back at her.

"Did your dad really look like this?" Daniel asked you as he examined the red plastic buttons that served as the toys eyes.

"Yeah, that is what crabdad looked like. Except thankfully this one is not screeching like a crazy troll beast" you give him a small smile and he beams at you.

"Hey Dan, I think you need to say thank you to Jade" Dave looks over at Jade who gives Daniel a smile. He returns a shy smile back to her and then walks over to her, wrapping his arms around her torso.

"Thank you for my toy, it's the best" Jade blushed and smiled down to the boy

"No problem!" She squeaked before tentatively returning the hug. She looked up at you and Dave. Her eyes were glossy, her smile said everything. She was happy for you.

______________________________________________________________________________

f*ck you were tired. Jade had decided to invite Daniel to an amusem*nt park and you were tricked into accompanying them. OK fine you weren’t tricked, Daniel pouted and you had no choice but to go. It had been fun until you were forced onto one of those metal death traps and after getting off you decided to call it quits. Daniel had been disappointed but Jade offered to stay with him the rest of the day. At first you weren't really convinced but after she promised you she’d keep him safe, you gave in.

Dave had decided to stay since he said he had much work to catch up with so he had not gone with you. Lucky asshole.
You were riding up the elevator fiddling with your keys. You were nervous. Nervous because you needed to speak to Dave. You hadn’t had much time to speak these past few days since Jade’s arrival and Daniels incident. It had been two weeks and even though he continued to de-age, it wasn’t noticeable. Well, not to anyone but Dave and maybe Aradia if she ever came by. Dave claimed that being a timeplayer let him notice little details.
That was exactly what you wanted to talk to him. You felt like he was obsessing with looking for a solution instead of actually enjoying the time you had with the grub.

The elevator dinged and you walked out and towards the door to your hive.

“Dave, I’m back. It seems like the amusem*nt park wasn’t so amusing. It was exactly the contrary. I think my sponge clot dissolved when I got off the f*cking metal roller car. It was horrible. Dave?” You walked into the living room finding it empty.

“Dave are you even home?” You threw your jacket on the couch and walked to your room. The door was open a crack so you peeked in.

Dave was standing in front of a mirror, a katana in his hand, his shades on the floor. Everything in this picture was wrong for you. Dave didn’t strif with a katana. He never discarded his shades when he was alone. And why was he standing in front of a mirror?

“Dave? What’s going on, are you OK?” You pushed the door open and slowly walked into the room.

“You know, I kind of understand why he wielded this sh*t. It’s easy to manipulate. It’s much lighter than my sword” His voice seemed blank and distant.

“Dave who are you talking about?”

“Maybe that’s how he would beat me. He had an advantage that f*cker” In the reflection of the mirror you saw him smirk but his eyes were void of any emotion. He looked up to his reflection and touched his face. “I don’t really look like him. I mean, bits and pieces but it’s not what’s outside that matters is it?” He smirked again

“Dave maybe you should put that weapon down. It isn’t-”

“Isn’t what?” He said without looking at you

“It isn’t what you’re use to wielding. It isn’t you”

“No Karkat, but that's where you’re wrong. This is exactly who I am. I was raised by a f*cking careless asshole and that’s what I turned out to be. Exactly like him.” He sneered as he took an attack stance with the katana in hand
“Exactly like who, Dave? What’s going on, what made you feel like pulling out you Bro’s sword?” You saw his shoulders tense at the mention of his Bro and that’s when you noticed who he was talking about.

“I think I’m destined to f*ck everything up. I know nothing better. I had no other examples. I don’t know how to love him, Karkat. I’m going to ruin him like he ruined me” He whispered

“Dave, no. You aren’t your brother. You know how to love, you know how to care. You can love him, Dave” You walked over to him and just as you were about to reach him, he blurred out of your sight and he slashed the mirror. The sound of shattering glass never came. It was a clean cut.

You were frozen in place, eyes open wide. He had never been so quick. You didn’t even seem move…

“I hate looking at myself. All I see is his face, his mistakes, his f*ck ups, him, him, him” he spit.

You opened your mouth but felt nothing come out.

“Why Karkat? Why can’t I stop myself from f*cking up?” He threw the sword aside and fell knees first to the floor, “It’s in my DNA. I’m programmed to ruin everything, to hurt the ones I love. I can’t hurt him again!” He sobs and that snaps you out of it. You walk to his side and envelope him in your arms. He crawls into your lap and sobs into your shirt as you rock your bodies in a calming motion.

“You won’t hurt him, assf*ck. You love him, you don’t hurt the ones you love. You aren’t your stupid guardian, Dave. You are Dave Strider, f*cking asshole in shades who raps like there is no tomorrow, draws sh*tty comics to hide his true talent and decided to put up with my bullsh*t because he likes to have his ass handed to him by his matesprit. You could never hurt us, any of us. Stop beating yourself up about it. Your DNA means nothing to me as my blood color means nothing to you. You made a mistake, we all do. Now learn from it and stop hating yourself for it.”

He didn’t speak but he buried his face in the crook of your neck. You gently rubbed his back and kissed his hair. You felt him relax in your touch until you felt him go limp, peering down to see his face, you saw his closed eyes and relaxed face. He fell asleep.

You lifted yourself and him from off the floor. Kicking off your shoes, you laid him on the bed and wrapped your arms around his torso.

You would occasionally feel him tense, no doubt having nightmares, but you would whisper loving words into his ear, hugging him tighter to your body.

Jade texted you a while later saying that she had arrived at your place and was going to put Daniel to bed since he had fallen asleep. Only then did you unwrap yourself from Dave.

You walked out of your room feeling tired and worried.

“Well don’t you look like you just put a lion to sleep” Jade said looking up from a large book. The title read “Ectosience, the key to cloning.”

“What the f*ck is a lion? f*ck it, I don’t care. I need to do something, would you mind checking in on Dave from time to time? I don’t know how long I’ll be gone.” You grabbed your keys and slipped on your shoes.

“I uh, sure. But where are you going? Is Dave sick?” she looked worried but you didn’t feel like explaining Dave’s little meltdown.

“No, he isn’t. Just check on him, alright Harley? I need to talk to some people” You slip your coat on and walk towards the door.

“Sure thing shouty boss” She makes a gesture, two fingers to her head that you have no clue the meaning of. You roll your eyes.

“Thanks, Jade. Please just, keep an eye on Dave.” You shut the door and walk out.

Walking to the elevator you take a deep breath. Maybe the older Strider can help you figure out this rumpus sh*t fest.

Chapter 12: In a state of shock

Chapter Text

You knock on the door several times before hearing someone, Jake probably, shout: "I'm coming!"

You hear several clicks and curses coming from door making you eyes roll.

"Bloody hell, Dirk. Who do you think is going to come in marching through our door, the Spanish Inquisition? Why do you have to set up so many locks and traps, you insane buffoon!" Jake finally seems to manage to get the door open after some fussing. He looks sweaty and his glasses are crooked.

"Ah, Mr. Vantas! To what do we owe the pleasure of your unscheduled visit?" He didn't say this in a bothered tone more like it was a happy surprise.

"I'm sorry for not calling before, I don't usually do this but I-"

"Don't stand there in the cold, come on in old friend!" He grabs you by your arm and pulls you inside to the warm house.

"I, uh well fine" you’re pulled in tow by Jake, making you stumble on your way in.

The Strider/English hive always manages to make you shake your head in utter disbelief; On one side you could find normal household items decorating the place and on the other end something so completely different would pop out in different places.

For example, now entering the living room, hanging above the fireplace were two mounted guns with their little gold plates describing their caliber and their uh, names? Surely this was a thing of Jake's. But not to be out done, in between these two guns was a mounted smuppets ass with its respective plate indicating its material and name, obviously a work of Dave's strange brother.

"Take a seat Karkat, I was just polishing up some of my grandmother's old silver platters. Would you like something to drink? We have tea, coffee or maybe a glass of wine?" He sat down in a seating slab, er "couch", which was an eccentric looking orange thing that didn't really combine with the other seats in the room.

"I'm alright, English. I actually came to-"

"Jake, have you seen my- oh well look who's standin' in my house lookin' like he's about to crack some skulls. Whatcha doin' here Vantas? Dave actin' like a brat again?" Dirk Strider walks into the room as he tinkers with something in his hands. You make a face when he speaks to you. His accent is so pronounced it just seems strange. Well, Dave has an accent too but it isn't that thick.

"Strider" you nod in his direction

"Dirk don't be rude, Karkat was about to tell me his reason for his impromptu visit" he turns to you and you scratch your neck awkwardly.

"I needed to talk to him" you point your chin at Dirk and see a smirk appear on the Striders face.

"Oh! Well by all means, don't let me interrupt!" Jake lifts himself from the couch with all the silverware and polishing items and walks out through a corridor.

"You don't have to leave you can-" but it's not use, he's already out of the room.

"So you need to talk to me. What's this about shortcake? Did the kid..." He leaves his sentence incomplete and you can see the struggle he's having with keeping a straight face and not grimacing.

You shake your head and see his shoulders relax. You might not really get along with Dave's older brother but you do appreciate him seeming to care for your matesprit.

"Okay soon what brings ya here? You're the one who usually calls before droppin' by so this seems sort of out of character for ya. Somethin's up." Another reason why you aren't really pals with Dirk is because, like Rose, they're analyzers. He may be a little more subtle than her but he’s still as clever.

"I needed to ask you some things. Just to... Understand."

"About Dave" it wasn't a question.

"He has certain... Attitudes towards himself lately which I'm not really understanding" you look down and clench your fists remembering the moment with the mirror.

“Yeah, he has attitudes with himself all the time. What makes these different?” He pulls out some wire out of his pockets and starts to wind it onto whatever he has in his hands

“Because these are so unlike Dave. He’s always been really hard to understand and it took me quite some time to make him open up to me. He was always shielded behind his stupid shades, no offense,” you say when Dirk looks up, “and that irony bullsh*t. It was hard to understand his little hints of emotion so you’ve got to understand when I tell you he’s been acting too vulnerable lately. It’s like all his fears and weak points were suddenly exposed and he has no way to defend himself”

“Why don’t we take a seat?” Dirk nods to the hideous orange couch thing and flops down. You take a seat next to him.

“So what’s this really about? Dave suddenly turning into a drama queen? ‘Cause we both already know what caused it” He looks down again at the thing he’s making.

“Yes, I know it’s the appearance of Daniel, Strider. I don’t have my fingers shoved up my nook, I know what’s going on. That’s not what I was concerned about. Maybe let me finish before you let that thing you call a mouth flap open again and spit out obvious things?”

“You’re so much fun to talk to” he deadpans

“Shut the f*ck up”

“Yeah yeah, so what’s bothering ya?”

“Dave seems to have a negative perspective on himself”

Yeah, don’t we all?”

“Shut up! As I was saying, he wasn’t like this. I mean, there were things he was afraid about, things he hid from me for sometime because he didn’t know how to deal with them but he never blamed it on himself, or at least not like he’s doing right now”

“So this is about junior”

“Dirk, f*ck off and by f*ck off I mean shut your f*cking mouth so I can finish,” He gives you a thumbs up and you roll your eyes, “My point is, he thinks he’s going to keep f*cking things up. He keeps saying he’s a bad parent, whatever the f*ck that is, blames himself over Daniels condition and just collapses each night after we’ve put the little grub to bed. He just, cries and it’s freaking me out, Dirk. I came from a planet where the backyard bark beast could grow three heads in one day, nothing freaks me out. I’m practically losing my sh*t trying to help him but he just refuses my help and says he’s gonna f*ck it up. He says he’s programmed to f*ck up. He says it’s in his DNA” you look over at Dirk, his face reveals nothing but he has stopped tinkering with the object in his hands

“Dirk, do you know what he means?” He doesn’t say anything and you feel your wind pipe collapse.

"Look, Dirk I know you're the strong silent type but you not talking isn't really helping. I'm having night terrors of Dave trying to kill his reflection! He's the one person I can count on and if he isn't okay, I'm not OK..." You trail off and bury your face in your hands

"Please don't cry, I don't know how to handle this type of thing. Look, Dave is just... Concerned. He thinks he isn't cut out to be a dad"

"Yes I know this nooksniffer! Tell me something I don't know!"

"He thinks this because of his bro, the one he grew up with." Dirk pushes his shades up and rubs the bridge of his nose

"What? What's the difference between his lus- Bro and you? Aren't you just like copies?"

"Are you and loud mouth Vantas the same?" You make a face of disgust and he smirks, "Yeah no. We're kind of the same, but not copies. Dave's Bro was a bit more... Distant." He rubs his neck and looks away.

"Strider? You're uncomfortable"

"Gee ya think, Karkat?"

"I want to know why dick face. You're hiding something and I want to know what it is."

"Geez you can be a pain in the ass... Look maybe you should discuss this with Dave. This isn't my place to talk about it." He gets up and walks to the door.

"Dirk... You think I haven't tried to f*cking talk about it with him? He blows me off and acts like it doesn't matter when I know it's killing him from inside. I'm worried," He shakes his head, "What would you do if this was about Jake?" He pauses and turns to stare at you.

"Point taken. Well pipe down and get ready for one heck of a story, I’m about to blow your nubby horns off little dude..."

________________________________________________________________________

You’re sitting with your hands folded in your lap, your face is impassive and you’re staring at nothing in particular. You can’t even process what you just heard.

“Dirk, look at him. He hasn’t said anything for five whole minutes. I am very sure your brother will be really mad if we tell him we broke his boyfriend” Jake is standing in front of you, an arm crossed around his torso and his other is under his chin.

“He’s gonna be fine. He’s just a little… Shocked” Dirk looks queasy himself, he’s pale and his shades are on the table.

“Shocked? Dirk he is way past that. To be certain, I’m a little unsettled myself and I only heard parts of it. I’m concerned for Dave now. I don’t think I’ll ever say the word bro in front of him ever again” you flinch when he says bro.

“Well look at that, he moved”

“Dirk he flinched, that isn’t any progress!”

“Fine, lemme…” he leans across the couch and nudges you slightly, “Kid, you a’ight?” That sets you off and you frown and push his hand away.

“Don’t f*cking call me kid I’m not even human, asshole. Also don’t enter my personal air space! I don’t want your disgusting human germ or bacteria in my air. Do you think I have time to be ill? I don’t even know if your human diseases will kill me or not! Please keep yourself out of my space, got it chumpf*cker?”

“Oh, like Dave’s disgusting tongue has been shoved in your mouth deeper than Mariana trench. Don’t even pretend to be disgusted by human germs. I guess he’s back to normal” He gestures to you as Jake stares at him with a tiny frown.

“Karkat, would you like to talk about-”

“I actually have to go. I left without saying anything and Daniel might be worried”

“Oh, alrighty then… You know you can come back whenever you wish”

“Yeah maybe don’t. Use a f*ckin’ phone next time strawberry shortcake”

“You’re an imbecile” You get up and walk to the door, “Thanks for receiving me, English. Strider I uh…” you rub your neck, “Thanks I guess, for horribly scarring my brain. But really, thank you. For telling me and for caring for Dave.”

“Whatever, he’s my bro. I guess I need to watch out for him. I wouldn’t precisely call it caring. Maybe just a brotherly instinct”

“I’m a blood player, Strider. I know how you feel about him. So thanks, you might think you’re a heartless f*cker, but you’re not.” You give him a small smile and have the pleasure of seeing his tan skin blush deep pink.

“Get out of my house, Vantas” You roll your eyes and walk out into the cold.

You pull your cellular device (you f*cking hate this small devices and it’s small buttons) and turn it on. You have a few messages and missed calls but you decide to ignore them. Better just go home and figure out how to handle with this enormous pile of hoof beast waste.

Chapter 13: 99 bottles of emotional trauma on the wall

Chapter Text

Dave sat on the edge of the bed, he was clutching a note and a piece of paper in his hands. The note was from Jade:

Dave! Karkat said you were sick so I left you some soup in the kitchen :D He said he was going out because he has things to do (mysterious!) but he'd be back soon. I'm taking Daniel to see Rose and Kanaya, I already cleared it with Karkat so don't worry! We'll be back for dinner :) Karkat said he'd be back as soon as he finished his "stuff" (creepy!) so he might get there before we do. Hope you feel better.

Jade H.

He folded the note and slipped it into his pants pocket to throw it away for later. He then opened the other piece of paper and smiled.

It was a crudely drawn picture of Dave; he had blond hair and shades and had a thermometer sticking out his mouth. Daniel had made this for him. On the top he wrote "Get well soon dad" in red crayon.

Dave pulled out his wallet and folded the piece of paper, he tucked it in and put his wallet back in place. He was keeping it close.

He lifted himself from his bed and walked out to the kitchen to see if he could find himself a pick me up: AJ.

As he sauntered out, he remembered the events which had led him to be home alone. Lonelier than Kevin from the actual Home Alone. To be honest he had acted like a total tool from his point of view. He had some petty meltdown because of his Bro. He remembered waking up after a particularly disturbing night terror...

He was fighting Bro on his rooftop and for once he wasn't losing. It had been fine and dandy until he was about to deliver the final blow at Bro. He hesitated, afraid to actually harm him but then shook his head; Bro didn't give a f*ck of he had caused Dave pain or not, so should he care if he cut Bro or bruised him? Hadn't he already done it to Dave?
He had turned his sword, sharp side going straight to Bro's side, and swung. He heard a grunt of pain.
He didn't care. He dropped his sword and turned his back on Bro. He was about to walk out of the rooftop when he heard crying. Crying? Bro never cried.
He turned around to the figure on the floor and froze.
Daniel. Daniel was on the floor clutching his side. The young boy lifted his hand to reveal red. Dave felt himself get nauseas. Mechanically, he walked over to Daniel's side and fell to his knees.

"Dan? Dan what happened?” his voice was strained. He reached a hand towards the boy only to see him recoil from his touch, his eyes screamed of fear.

"I don't want to strife anymore. Please, please make it stop!" He yelled at Dave but the older just gave him a confused look. "I don't know what your-"

"You said you would let down but you've just made it worse! I hate you. I hate you!" He stood up and gripped his side even harder, "All you do is beat me up! If I refuse you beat me up and leave me without dinner, if I try to strife you beat me up and leave me to patch me up by myself! What do you want from me?" He looked at Dave and wiped his tears away.

"Daniel I never-" the older reached out to him again only to see Daniels face contorted in disgust, "You're sick. You think you're actually preparing me for something but you're not. You're just some sick old guy getting a kick out of beating young kids." He ran towards the door which led to the inside, leaving Dave on the floor confused and hurt.

Dave couldn't understand what was happening. What had happened? He had been strifing with Bro, but suddenly he wasn't. Why had he said those things? And more importantly, what had he done?

He stood up and looked around catching sight of himself in a mirror and froze. He wasn't Dave anymore, he was Bro.

"No!" He screamed as he touched his face. Bro's face. "I am not you!" He screamed at his reflection. Bro's reflection.

"You are me, Dave. Cut from the same cloth. We share our DNA. You can't escape it, Dave. You're as f*cked up as I am." He watched as his mouth moved and smirked. He couldn't take it anymore. Dave pulled out the sword and ran in through the glass. It luckily also managed to wake him up but not without the echo of Bro's words in his head.

That's the reason Karkat had found him standing in front of the broken mirror. He had sliced it in half in fear of seeing his face reflected as Bro's. He was afraid to turn into him.

______________________________________________________________________________

God you are f*cked up. he thought to himself as he entered the living room.

He slumped on the couch and sighed. Maybe that's why Karkat had run off to f*ck knows where. He was probably afraid of Dave going into total auto destruction mode and had wanted to flee the scene before any damage was done to him. Good thinking.

As he slumped and wallowed in his self pity, he heard someone knock on the door lightly. He didn't move from his place though. He didn't really want to see anyone.

Another knock.

This is when it dawned on to him that no one had access to their floor unless they punched in the correct code. The only people who had said code were family and the pizza delivery boy. Yeah the pizza boy because Dave was not going to walk down 50 flights of stairs to get his meal. f*ck no.

This also meant whoever was knocking had to be either one of those people and he hadn't ordered any pizza so it was obviously the former of the two.

Three more consecutive knocks sounded again. Dave sighed.

"God f*cking dammit. Fine, you win mysterious person who didn't even have the decency to warn me about their visit, I'm coming." He pushed himself off the couch and walked over to the door.

"Who do we have behind door number three?" He deadpanned as he swung the door open.

"Took ya long enough! I was begining to think I was gonna have to live in this corridor. It's a pretty nice corridor so I wouldn't have been against it. Nice place you got here De-Stri two!"

"Roxy? How the-"

"You popped out a child and you didn't even invite me to the baby shower? I'm pretty offended. Am I not your mother?" She put a hand to her forehead and sighed dramatically.

"Don't say that out loud, it still creeps me out." Dave whispered.

"Is that why you didn't tell me you have a baby now? I had to find out from Jane who was told by Jake who was told by Dirky. What kind of nonsense is that, Dave? Do you and Karkat hate me or is there some other reason you wanted to keep my grandchild hidden from me?"

"Roxy please, you're practically my age! Can't start callin' yourself my mother when you hadn't even visited me in the past six months. Kinda hurt, my own mother rejecting my fine piece of ass. What's a Strider supposed to do?" She smiled at Dave and he permitted himself a tiny smirk. It's Roxy for god sake, she deserved a tiny display of emotion from his part.

"Oh Dave, you never change. So what, we doing this fam reunion thing in the corridor or are you gonna invite me in?" She winked and Dave rolled his eyes. He pulled her in and walked her to the living room as he gestured the couch so she could take a seat.

"So what brings you over? I wasn't kidding when I said it's been six months. I haven't seen you in forever." He sat on the chair in front of her and she gave him a small apologetic smile.

"Things have been a bit busy back home. I haven't had much of a break in some time. Callie thought it might be a good idea if I just come visit the rest of the Strilonde family for a few days but I dismissed the idea. I told her I was fine and chill but after word got out that you had a tiny babe, well, I had to come take a look see" she winked again and Dave nodded.

"So Callie isn't here," he stated as Roxy nodded and pouted, "Too bad, she's a great person. Daniel would've liked to meet her" he murmured.

"Damn, you would introduce Calliope but not your own mother?So rude! I am totes offended right now, mini D" she crossed her arms and frowned.

"Geez Rox, could you lighten up with the whole mom ordeal? It's kinda rubbing me in the wrong way" she smiled and nodded. That was the great thing about Roxy, she always acted on your petition immediately.

"So where's your number two? And where is your baby? I didn't come all this way to see your pretty face"

"Sorry but you caught us in the wrong moment. Seems that Jade has taken the challenge to become Dan's favorite aunt so it might be a while until you see my look alike" Dave sighed. As much as he was afraid of harming Daniel, he really did miss spending time with him.

"Huh, well that sucks on so many levels I can't even reach the final boss. Nope, out of reach without my cheats, gonna have to think of a new way to tackle this monster. And Karkat? Haven't seen him since we got drunk at Jake's birthday and he tried to seduce you into being his boyfriend" she laughed at the memory. It had been Karkat's first time drinking human intoxicating subjects and he had gotten pretty drunk. He had tried to convince Dave to leave his boyfriend and run off with him, forgetting that they were already dating. Karkat still denies it whenever Dave brings it up.

"Yeah well I'm not really sure where he is cause I made a mess of things and when I woke up, he was long gone" he ran his fingers through his hair nervously.

"Oh. Dirk told me you got in a fight with him but I thought it all worked out?"

"It did. We weren't fighting, I kind of had a little meltdown after waking up from a night terror and he sort of stumbled in on me while I was in the process of dealing with it. I think I scared him off." Dave's throat felt tight as he recalled the scene.

"You're having daddy issues, "she claimed. Dave tensed but shook his head. Her guess fell a few feet short but she was on the right track, how the hell did she do that?

"Does it have anything to do with the fact that you looked like utter sh*t when you opened the door? Moping around were you?" She tisked and shook her head.

"Dammit, Rolal. Sometimes I underestimate you"

"Most do. That's why they feel worse when I hand them their asses on a silver platter. No one suspects of little ol' me. It's always the two ninja studs or the analytical dark queen. Never sweet Roxy" she shrugged.

"Yeah. No one ever suspects of you. But I wasn't moping. Striders don't mope"

"Ha, like I haven't heard that one before! Striders don't have feelings yet both you and Dirk are so hooked fishes have nothing on you. Striders are cool but you and Dirk are the lamest dudes I’ve ever met!” Dave opened his mouth to protest but Roxy winked and shook her head, “Jay kay, both of you are cool as can be. Now stop trying to distract me and tell me what’s wrong”

“Roxy I can’t just tell you what happened. It’s not easy talking about this, it’s kind of a sh*tty subject for me…” Dave rubbed the back of his neck and grimaced.

“Dave… Dave what happened? You know I won’t talk about it. To anyone, not even Callie. I know what it’s like to need to keep secrets from the person you care about…”

Dave wasn’t sure if it was the tone in Roxy’s voice or the fact that she was honestly the closest thing he had to a mom but suddenly, he just wanted her to comfort him.

"Fine, Rox. I'll tell you what bullsh*t is going through my mind just hold your comments for the end and don't look at me like a sad puppy when I finish, got it?"

"Yes, duh. Just tell me"

"Fine. Let me tell you about my bro."

"I already know, Dirk! What more can you tell me?" Roxy frowned.

"I didn't mean my bro, I meant Bro. I'm gonna tell you about the Bro I grew up with."

________________________________________________________________________

Roxy's brow was furrowed. She had her hands clenched in a fist and her face looked pale.

"Dave I-"

"Come on, Rolal. You said you wouldn't look at me that way. I'm fine, nothing's happening anymore." Dave shrugged it off but Roxy shook her head. She patted Dave's shoulder.

"No you're not. That's abuse and you know it." Dave cringed at the word.

'S not abuse... Not anymore at least" Dave sighed and leaned back into the sofa.

"Dave. Have you ever told..." She gestured to the tiny crab pillow on the couch

"What? No, Jesus f*ck no. He'd lose his sh*t. He's too... Protective."

"Aren't you both?" Roxy lifted her eyebrow at him.

"Yeah but it's different. Karkat is self destructive. I can handle it."

"Can you, Dave? Because all I see is you closing up and letting it fizzle. Once that baby pops, there is gonna be a big mess"

"Can it, Roxy. You're starting to sound like Rose." Dave rolled his eyes.

"I'm serious, Dave! It's not good to keep things all bottled up. A fine shake and the cork is gonna go flying and whack someone hard and believe me, those hurt so much!" She absentmindedly rubbed her nose, momentarily lost in a memory.

"Enough with the bottle references. I'm gonna be alright. I always have been, chill."

"Have you considered maybe... Talking to Rose? But in a more, professional manner?" She bit her lip nervously at the suggestion.

"f*ck no, you know how she gets. I'm not gonna be one of her dolls waiting to be examined." He crossed his arms and looked away from her.

"Dave she might kid around and tease you but she knows how to do her job. I've talked to her, Callie has as well and I know some of Karkat's friends have also confided in her. She's never teased anyone about their personal problems before." She gave Dave an encouraging smile.

"I have to think about it. Not now though, I'm tired and can't deal with Rose poking at me." Dave sighed and shook his head.

"Alright, Dave, whenever you're ready. But you have to do it, Kay? Gotta promise me." She looked seriously at him and Dave nodded. There was something about her look that made Dave feel the need to keep his promise.

Which also meant he would have to talk to Rose. Goddamit.

Chapter 14: Doesn't anyone call anymore?

Chapter Text

Karkat wrapped his scarf tighter around his neck as he approached the elevator that would take him to his floor. He felt nervous and a bit uneasy. After what Dirk had told him he just didn't know how to act with Dave.
On one side, he wouldn't to punch his Bro and tell him he was a disgraceful guardian even for Alternian standards, console Dave and tell him it would be all better like he had seen in his human romcoms. On the other, he was afraid to even mention any of these things to Dave, he would probably think he had gone behind his back and obligated Dirk to tell him what he knew. It was a known fact that Dave was not comfortable with talking about his wiggler years. Every time Karkat had tried to ask, Dave would distract him in some way or another. When Karkat pressed on the matter, he simply told him he didn't want Karkat to get mixed into his past.

"The past should remain in the past, no need to dwell on it." he had said to Karkat some time ago.

The elevator halted to a stop, pulling Karkat out of his memories. He had gotten so caught up he never even noticed when he go in the metal box or even dialed the code in.

He pulled his gloves off and pulled his cap off being careful of his horns. Rose had knitted him the cap last winter when he complained about the holeless beanies and caps the new world had. She had carefully placed two holes on the beanie so Karkat's horns would poke out. He was really grateful for the job Rose had put into the beanie.

He pulled his pair of keys with the Sweet Bro key chain (Dave had Hella Jeff on his pair) and fumbled to twist them into place to get the door open.

"Dave? Are you awake?" He walked in and hung his coat and scarf, place his keys in the glass bowl cleverly named key bowl and toed his shoes off.
As he walked towards the living room he heard Dave's voice and a women's voice. Had Rose come over?

"Come on, Roxy. You can't possibly say that the first movie was better than the second one, the second one had time jumps and alternative time lines!" Dave huffed and Karkat walked into the living room as he rolled his eyes, he knew what movie he was fighting about.

"The only reason your thinkpan conceives the second film as a superior choice to the first one is because of said time loops. Just because your element is time does not mean you have to be obsessed with every time based event" Karkat sat down next to Dave who was looking at him like he hadn't seen the troll in years.

"Where were you?" He whispered at Karkat forgetting completely that Roxy was in the room.

"Out" Karkat murmured back as he looked him in the eyes. Or he thought, damn shades were in the way.

"Don't go out so long again." Dave brought a hand to Karkat's cheek causing him to blush an sputter a bit

"I can go and come as I please! You can't-omph" Dave silenced him as he crashed their lips together. He kissed him with a bit of force at first and then softly. Karkat felt his face heat up and he nudged Dave's arm so he could pull away. Dave responded by smiling against his lips and pulling away.

"I'm sorry, you had something on your lips" was his clever response. Karkat scowled and crossed his arms.

"Damn," she extended the word making it seeming longer than it was, "you two really got the fireworks, don't you? Kinda feeling jealous right now." She said to Karkat making the troll turn towards her and blushing even deeper. He had momentarily forgot about her presence in the room.

"What can I say? I'm a hot piece of ass that needs another hot mess at his side. He's the wow factor. He brings a little somthin' somethin' into the relationship, if you know what I mean" Dave gave an exaggerated wink and Karkat punched his shoulder.

"Shut the hell up, Dave. I don't bring anything into this relationship other than brains and wit, areas where you are clearly lacking"

"Ouch, already jabbing at my decisions? I'm hurt baby." Dave clutched his heart.

"I'll show you some hurt."

"Only if you tie me up first, I need to get into the role of a bdsm."

"What the f*ck does that even mean?!" Karkat flung his arms in the air, he gave up on this idiot.

"Okay this has been an interesting conversation so far but can your kinks stay in the bedroom please, yikes."

"Lalonde, do you not know how to use a proper communication devices? With your vast knowledge I was thinking you might be able to properly use a phone and make a call before arriving unexpectedly. Now I have nothing to greet you with. No food, no beverages or anything at all. What type of host am I if I cannot treat my guests properly when they get here? You humans are the ones who made this etiquette and manners and you don't even follow it! f*cking assholes all of you if I do say myself and I do! A bunch of disrespectful douche bags!" Karkat tosses his hands in the air and glares at Roxy.

"Oh Karkat I sooo missed your strange rants! I'm sorry I didn't call, little dude! It was kind of last minute so I could call it you totes don't have to worry, I'm staying with Kany and Rose so I won't be bugging you at all! You'll be free to make more little babes lols!" She winked and Karkat felt his face heat up.

"You humans are so pathetic! Always assuming that Dave and I somehow procreated to conceive a child. How obsessed are you with pregnancy?" He rolled his eyes and huffed.

"Oh so you didn't pop a baby out? Daaaamn, that is sooo disappointing! I thought Karkat had a belly and everything. I can't believe this." She pouted and Dave smirked a bit.

"What the f*ck is malfunctioning in all of you imbeciles? You must have putrid slime in your think pans! Why do you always assume I'm the one who carries the little grub? Is that how humans... No, no f*ck. I know that's not how humans work! Also news flash, troll males don't carry the product either soper slurppers!"

"Yeah hate to break it to you, Roxy but this isn't one of your fan fictions. No mpregs in this beautiful romance." Dave shrugged and Karkat rolled his eyes once more.

"Aw no fun! Well if there wasn't any pregnancy involved how did the baby..." She gestured around looking for the right word.

"That is where you are wrong, Lalonde mother. Our wiggler isn't exactly a human infant..." Karkat chewed on his bottom lip in a nervous gesture.

Roxy looked very confused and before she could ask, the door to the apartment opened. The sound of key jingles was heard as the said keys were dropped into the glass bowl. Footstep got closer and Karkat fidgeted nervously.

"Hey guys! We just had lunch with Rose and Kanaya, it was- Oh Roxy! Rose mentioned you were coming. It's been so long you silly goose." Jade walked over to Roxy and sat next to her as she envelopes her in a hug.

"Oh Jade! I've missed you tons! You look great to be honest"

"Dad! Are you better now?" Daniel ran into the room towards Dave and gave him a hug, taking Dave by surprise.

"Yeah, lil man. f*cking brilliant" he whispered as he patted Daniel's back lightly.

"Dave come on! Language?" Jade reprimanded

"It's English, Harley. Is it that hard to understand?" He smirked as Daniel moved over to Karkat.

"Dad, aunt Kan said my teeth look as sharp as yours! Am I scary now?" He bared his teeth a bit.

"Yeah, exactly like your dad," Dave deadpanned as he turned towards Karkat, "Horrifying" he smirked and Karkat punched his shoulder.

"Asshole. Yeah Dan, they look very sharp.
Countless beasts will fear you when you go out into the woods!" Karkat smiled at him and Daniel beamed.

"Oh. Em. Gee. It's a tiny Dave. With horns. Am I the only one seeing this? Pinch me, it's a dream. I can't believe it!" Roxy's mouth was agape and there was a twinkle in her eye Karkat couldn't exactly figure out.

"Dad, who is she? She looks like aunt Rose but with pink eyes" Daniel said as he tugged on Dave's sleeve.

"This Roxy, her sister is aunt Rose." Dave told him.

"Hi little Daniel, I'm you're cool aunt who can teach you anything about video games" Roxy winked making Daniel flush a little. Karkat smiled at Dave who wiggled his eyebrows back.

"Hi... You're really pretty" Daniel said as he hid his face in his hands.

"Aw, I love him already! Adorable as heck, am I right?" Roxy smiled

"Dad, can I go to my room? I wanna watch a movie" Daniel asked Dave who just nodded. He ran out and Karkat let out a laugh.

"My lil son has a crush on you. Well Roxy, isn't that nice?" Dave said as he watched Daniel run out of the room.

"Totally adorable but Dave you lied, you said there was no pregnancy and there is clearly some genetic mash up at work here."

"Well you aren't wrong about the mix match." Dave muttered

"What do you mean?" She asked, clearly confused.

Dave looked over at you and you raised an eyebrow. He raised one back and you got the message.

"f*ck no, dumbwitt! I've explained this f*cked up backwards story a reasonable amount of times before! It's started to get pretty old, asshole."

"Well I've told it my fair share of times and I told Rose and Dirk. Those two count as double."

"f*ck you, those are your human litter mates, it's your responsibility to tell them!"

"Aw sh*t no, I'm sick of telling it. It's you or no one."

"You f*cking-"

"Fine! I'll tell the story since you to nut jobs won't stop acting like tiny babies!" Jade interrupted. Dave shrugged and Karkat crossed his arms.

"What story? Guys I don't get it" Roxy said as she looked between Dave and Karkat.

"Oh, you will. Get ready for one heck of a tale!" Jade said with a smile, "The first thing you should know is that all of this was because John wanted to lose his V card."

“Oh. Em. Geeee! Are you telling me John has already popped his pringle? Holy damn, I didn’t know!”

“Yep! Little John isn’t little anymore. So what happened is John, being the clueless guy that he is, even worse than me and that’s saying something, made a stupid decision…”

Chapter 15: A void in my heart that only tiny kittens will fill

Chapter Text

Roxy is doubled over herself laughing like there is no tomorrow. Like she needs to laugh as much as she can in this moment 'cause tomorrow the world might end and she hasn't gotten her fill of laughable moments. Her eyes are spilling tears and she's clutching her sides in an attempt to control her laughter fit. She's been at it for five whole minutes. Five minutes you've spent playing a Pokemon game, five minutes Karkat has been scowling at no one in particular and five minutes Jade has been drinking her milkshake through a straw while making unnecessary noises.

"Oh my god, Jade please tell me it was a joke. I can't, I can't handle it. I'm calling the bluff" Roxy says finally, after what seemed like an eternity. You look up from your game and snort.

"Why would we joke about something like this? As if the world needed another excuse to laugh at us. It's like my life needed a special punchline and ironically enough, Egbert was the one who delivered it" Karkat rolls his eyes and huffs.

"You're sayin' like he did something really bad." you murmur without looking up from your game ‘cause jesus f*ck Pokemon needs your attention right about now.

"No, that isn't what I meant! It was just... Unexpected, that's all." Karkat rubs his hands nervously and you can feel his gaze on your face.

"Well yeah! Children tend to be unexpected sometimes. It doesn't mean you aren't capable of taking care of them, it's something you need to learn how to do. Of course it's a huge responsibility but I know you two can do it. You have some weird way of working, what one can't do the other can!" Jade is looking straight at Karkat like if he was the problem.

Everyone always assumes Karkat is the one having difficulties to get with the program. No one thinks it's you. He says he doesn't mind, his temperament is what makes everyone think he has little to no patience. He's mentioned on more than one occasion that his troll friends think he won't be able to take care of a kid because his kind hasn't had the need to care for little children in over a million years or more. He doesn't care if they're concerned he might do something irrational. He's not concerned about himself because you know he's worried about you. You're the irrational one, the one who might do something stupid.

You sigh and Karkat looks over at you. He discreetly slips his hand in between one of yours, the one which isn't grasping the game system like your life depends on it.

"So lemme get this straight. Ecto biology is what sprung your child out into this life? Timeline jumps and temporal disturbances?" Roxy looks confused as much as she looks curious.

"Yeah. As far as we know, John seemed to zap up the little shrimp from his own timeline and created a slime copy. Much like the way we were born only instead of instantly turning into goo, he somehow managed to give the kid life. It's temporary though. He's... He's fading away." You clear your throat at the end trying to act cool about it but you feel your hand get squeezed and you know you didn't fool Karkat.

"Temporary..." Roxy mutters. She gets a look in her eye and you know she's trying to connect the dots. That's another thing no one ever has in mind about Roxy; she's extremely intelligent and ecto biology is her forte but no one ever asks her help when it comes to science junk. It's always Rose or Dirk.

"So how wrong would it be if I asked for a sample of his blood?" Roxy turns to Karkat and smiles widely.

"Sick and twisted type of wrong. No, why the f*ck do you even want it? Tavros and Kanaya have done all they can, it's all useless." Karkat crosses his arms and turns to a side. You slip your arm around his waist and hug him to your side.

"Maybe just let her investigate. She's an expert on this crap as much as Jade and Kanaya, fyi" You say as Jade nods to back you up.

"You're an expert on slime children?" Karkat eyes her suspiciously and she lets out a laugh.

"No! Of course not, I've never even heard of a case like this before but I can try to help. I've worked with genetic ecto slime since forever" she waves her hand dismissively.

"I didn't know but to be fair I never know what you humans do for a living. I'm just worried you might do something stupid. No offense to you, Lalonde but Strider one and two are general idiots and Rose is creepy when it comes to these things" he says recalling the time the three of you tried to give Lil' Hal a body. It ended up blowing up in your faces, literally.

"Noooo, I totes promise I'm good at this! Here, I have something to prove it." She looks inside her huge purse and pulls out what looks like an ant farm to you. She hands it over to Karkat and he stares at it curiously.

"This is so f*cked up yet highly intriguing. Why am I so intrigued? Dave look at this sh*t. Your cousin made tiny meow beasts. They're so small..." He continues to murmur under his breath but the word meow beast gets your attention.

"Meow beast. You mean cats? Roxy what did you... Holy sh*t." Karkat hands over the ant farm, well, the cat farm. In the little tunnels are a bunch of tiny kittens. Doing normal cat things; Sleeping, playing with plastic mice, eating and all those cat related activities.

"Roxy, man I know you like cats but isn't this just slightly strange? You've managed to shrink cats into tiny little sh*ts! Gotta say, this is some backwards sidestep dance sh*t. Everyone in the room is confused by your dance moves, they can't keep the rhythm and they're knocking into each other left and right" you tap the glass gently and manage to wake one of those tiny little cats up.

“Well it was just an a simple lab experiment which turned out to be incredibly awesome. Now I don’t have to leave any of my adorable babies alone at home, they can all come with me. All I had to do with transfer the cats genetic DNA mold into the mold of an ant and with a few tweaks, I managed to create these little babies!” She pulls the little cat farm from your hand and holds them in the air while humming “Circle of Life” causing Jade to snort. You smirk and shake your head.

“Why is everyone laughing, I don’t get it” Karkat looks between you and Jade while Roxy slowly whispers “Simba”.

“It’s a human joke, sort of. Haven't you ever seen Lion King? I’ve only bought you like, half the f*ckin’ vault of Disney movies” you say mentioning the Disney classics which are released on certain occasions; you of course have amassed a great collection of these old time classics and pride yourself on owning most of them. He tips his head in confusion, in a way that would usually make you smile because he looks so damn cute but you don’t because you don’t want to seem like a goddamn sap.

“I’m not sure if I have. I would remember a movie about lions, Dave” He scowls and you bump his side.

“So, we’ve taken this completely off course!” Jade says with a little irritation, “Will you let Roxy help?” You can see Karkat’s overbite poke the skin beneath his lip which means he’s chewing his lips, a gesture which you associate with him being nervous but after a while he shrugs.

“Fine, I guess no harm can come from a blood sample. I’ll call Tavros to let him know he’ll have to share his little f*cked up backwards research” Roxy’s eyes literally f*cking seem to sparkle with enthusiasm and you can tell she had been expecting Karkat to say no.

“Hell yeah! Make way world, Roxy Lalonde is about to make some epic discoveries” she flipped her hair back making Jade giggle. Karkat facepalmed and sunk into your side. You slipped a hand around his waist and hug him tighter to your side.

“Well boys it’s been a blast exchanging bedroom stories with you, even thought they were only about John, but I’ve gotta bounce out of here” Roxy lifts herself up from the couch and brushes her black skirt.

“Yeah guys I’m going to do the same. I promised Jake I’d go over and see him but I still haven’t! What type of family member am I?” She shakes her head in fake disappointment and you roll your eyes behind your shades. Good ol’ Jade.

“f*cking great, Lalonde. I failed to offer you a beverage. I’m a dipsh*t host and I hate everyone” Karkat throws his hands in the air and huffs out a breath. Roxy smiles sweetly at him and pats his head softly.

“It’s all right, you’re a great host. I was hosted the socks off. Whoops, gonna have to get a new pair of those bad boys. Well Davey, tell your brother I’m gonna give him a good old fashion surprise visit as soon as I get settled in with Rose, m’ kay?” she paps your cheek and you stare at her through your shades impassively. She just winks and starts walking to the door and you all follow suit.

Jade gives Karkat a hug and pulls him out to the corridor while they exchange murmurs. You don’t know what they’re talking but by the way Karkat’s forehead keeps creasing you have an idea of who they’re talking about.

“So, xeno-loving nerd. You gonna be okay?” Roxy says in a casual tone but you can see a little worry in her eyes.

“I’ll be fine, Rolal. Mind giving Rose a heads up? And please don’t let her make a big deal about this. I know she’s gonna have a f*cking party about this but tell her to calm her jugs. This ain’t a light subject for me” You rub the back of your neck feeling awkward as f*ck. Roxy just smiles reassuringly and pats your arm.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep her in check. Won’t let her flip her sh*t over this or may the chess people come back to chase me around looking for pumpkins!” You raise an eyebrow at her and she just waves her hand dismissing her sentence. Sometimes you think your family is f*cking crazy.

“So we’ll talk later then, Dave? Maybe get the guys together so we can chat sometime now that I’m in town?” Jade asks you as she walks back towards you with Karkat.

Sure thing, Jade. Get the f*cking breakfast club back together again. Let’s smoke some weed, have a feels circle and all that sh*t” She smiles and punches your arm softly.

“Right well, later boys!” Roxy dings the elevator, she and Jade walk in and wave goodbye.

“Later Jade, Rom- Eh, mom. Wait no, Roxy!” But it's too late, the doors of the elevator have already closed while she and Jade were laughing at you.

“Nice work, dunderf*ck. You really need to get your mom feelings in check” Karkat smirks at you and walks back into your apartment.

“Yeah ha-ha, shut the f*ck up.” You follow him inside. He walks into the kitchen and you sit down on one of the stools of the bar. He moves around pulling some things out of the fridge watching him prepare everything for dinner.

“So… Where were you today and most of yesterday night? I mean, not that you aren’t entitled to go out in the middle of the night but it was just sort of all of a sudden.” You see him still for a second before he goes back to moving around in the kitchen.

“I just went out, I needed to pick up somethings”

“In the middle of the night?”

“Jesus f*ck yes, contrary to popular belief, troll stores are open at midnight! And before you ask me why I was at a troll store instead of regular old walmart well just don’t f*cking ask. I felt the need to shop for some non-human cooking products, is that so bad? Not all of us can live off of triangular cheese corn chips and fizzy drinks. Some of us actually need some sustain and nutriment in our bodies so excuse me if I go down to the f*cking troll store to get some grub flakes or some savage beast meat” He sets pots and pans all over as he rants and you snort.

“Great story, babe. Only you forgot about the fact that you didn’t even have bags when you arrived oh, and the detail that your fingers twitch when you are lying. You know you can’t f*cking lie to me.” You smirk and he tenses. f*ck something's not right.

“Should I be worried? Do I want to know who you were with?” You feel yourself get nervous as more time passes and he doesn’t answer.

“Fine, if you must know I went to your brothers house. I needed to talk to him”

“About me.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yes, about you.”

“Why? Couldn’t you just ask me whatever you needed to know?” You feel a little pissed off by the fact that he went to see your bro instead of talking to you.

“No, I couldn’t because you always avoid the topic whenever I bring it up. So I figured that if I couldn’t talk to you, I’d talk to your sibling. He informed me of what I needed to know and that is that.”

“Hmm.” You tap your finger on the counter as you think of whatever he would need to go to Dirk for. You think about texting Dirk and just asking but that’s incredibly lame. Unlike Karkat, you like to know things up front. “So why’d you go to talk to Dirk? I mean, if I’m avoiding the matter it might be for a reason.” You notice your voice has lost all of its playfulness. Karkat hunches his shoulders and continues to move around the kitchen.

“I wanted to ask him about the Halloween party”

“Bullsh*t. Come on, Karkat. Don’t you f*cking lie to me” You grip the edge of the table and take a deep breath. Karkat’s ears twitch and then flatten down. He shakes his head and then turns to you. His eyes are glistening with unshed tears, his lower lip trembling.

“I’m so sorry, Dave. I didn’t know what to do so I just had to ask Dirk but after he told me I just wanted to forget all of it! I should be worried you never told me, confused why you kept it away from me but I didn’t care, I just wanted to forget about it. Dave, Dave I’m so sorry,” You’re looking at him with wide eyes and raised eyebrows as he walks around the bar and tackles you into a hug, “Dave you are so so good, I cannot believe that repugnant assf*ck hurt you the way he did. I won’t ever let anyone do anything to you, do you understand Dave? I will f*cking cull any f*ckstain who touches you.” His grip tightens around your waist and you can feel his tears dampening your t-shirt but you can’t even pretend to give a f*ck. You’re frozen in place, whatever you were going to say is stuck in your throat and you can’t get it out.

“I know I f*cked up by going to ask Dirk, I know this is a total violation of your private personal past life but I thought… Well, we’re together, right? I thought I should have some sort of knowledge of why you felt so burdened with Daniel. I never imagined it was because of an egocentric assf*cker who had the f*cking nerve to call himself your guardian. You can be angry and yell at me, I deserve it. At least now I know why you feel this way about yourself. I love you, Dave. I’m sorry you feel broken but you are still the same to me.”

It breaks you inside to know he knows the truth, you feel ashamed and embarrassed but you can’t bring yourself to care, you just feel loved. This stupid nosey ass troll is hurt because you’re hurt. You tug his chin up to look into his eyes, they look worried and knowing he’s worried about you does you in. You crash your lips to his and bury your hands in his tangled messy hair. You try to convey all your feelings in that one kiss. He wraps his arms around your neck and you can feel how he tries to respond, how he’s telling you he loves you and will stay by your side. You grip his waist and tug him closer, let your hands slip under his shirt and roam his back. f*ck you’ve missed touching his skin and feeling his warmth beneath your fingers. He lets out a little sigh before he slowly drags his teeth across your lower lip, barely scraping the skin leaving a prickling sensation and you can’t help but moan a little into his mouth. (Give a man a break, it’s been too long for what use to be normal for you.)

“Dave… Dave we can’t. The wiggler.” Karkat says against your lips but you don’t feel him push away so you let your hands move down to grip his ass and press him against you.

He moves down to nip at your jaw and down to your throat where you tilt your head giving him more access.

“Mmm… I love when you bare your throat for me” He purrs making you let out a groan. You can feel his smile as he starts to bite in a particular spot that makes your head spin. You’re about to tell him to move this to your bedroom when Daniel calls out: “DAD.”

You and Karkat jump about a meter into the air and take a step away from each other. His face is flushed, his lips look swollen and his eyes are wide. He looks so guilty, reminding you of the time Kanaya caught you with your shirt off one time so you laugh, receiving a punch in the shoulder.

“What the f*ck is so funny? He could have come in and seen us!” He whispers loudly.

“Oh sh*t, he might have know I was totally in the mood to bang is hot as f*ck Dad. Dammit, we should be more careful” You smirk as he frowns and flips you off.

“Daaaaaad” Daniel calls again.

“What’s wrong Dan?” You call back.

“When’s dinner ready?” You all but facepalm at this. Only the son of one Dave Strider could interrupt such a personal moment because of his stomach.

“In an hour, little grub f*cker, quite nagging. If you’re too hungry I can give you a bag of triangular cheese chips” Karkat straightens the wrinkles on his button down. He lets out a breath and gives you a look as if daring you to even try to continue whatever you two had started.

“Why you gotta be so rude? And they’re called Doritos. Why do you insist in callin’ them triangular cheese chips… Goddamn, co*ck-blocked by my own son. Who would’ve ever thought?” You run a hand through your hair a Karkat gives you a smirk.

“Humans, always ruled by their hormones. Can’t you keep it in your pants for a second and be serious? We’re not done talking.”

“Contrary to belief, hell yeah we are”

“Why must you always shut me out, Dave? Do you not trust me?” His voice makes you reach out and pull him into a hug, all of the urgency from before vanished, you just want to comfort him.

“I trust you. It’s just a difficult subject for me, yeah? I am kinda pissed you sought out Dirk instead of me but I would’ve done the same. I have a problem, I get it. I’ll deal with it” You sigh into his hair and he buries his face in your neck.

“We’ll deal with it” He says. The fact that his alien guy cares for you makes your heart flutter a little. Naturally you play it cool when you respond with a quiet “Sappy f*cker”

You get punched in the chest but it was totally worth it.

Chapter 16: I'm a skelton... skleton? Skeleton.

Chapter Text

“Dave, Dave come the f*ck on we're going to be late and you know how much I despise being late. It might be a human affliction to arrive two hours after the established time but it is not for trolls. Now get your ass out here so we can leave!" Your dad calls out from the door, his foot is tapping impatiently and he keeps cleaning the smudges you leave on your face were you wipe at your nose.

"Daniel please don't wipe your nose with your sleeve, Kanaya worked very hard on your make up and you're messing up her work. Do you want to mess up after she worked so hard?" You like aunt Kan. She's really pretty and very tall almost as tall as dad. She painted your face like a skleton to match your costume.

You shake your head and slip your hands in your pockets. You don't want to upset aunt Kan.

“Sorry dad, I won’t ruin my skleton costume because it’s cool and very scary. Like, very “boo!” scary, right dad?”

“It’s skeleton, bug. Not skleton. And you look very scary. Trolls will fear you all over.” He says as he smiles at you. You’re sure you said skelton. Skleton? Sekeleton? Oh well, the word is too confusing.

"Dad, when are we leaving? I wanna trick some treats! Will there be other kids, dad? Do I get to keep my candy?" You balance yourself on the balls of your feet and looked up at your dad expectantly. You’re excited for your first Halloween.

Rose and Kanaya were holding their annual beneficial ball for trolls and children without a home. They would invite everyone they knew to the event celebrating with contest and games; apple bobbing, darts, a special section for trick or treating and some awards for the best costumes.

Of course, you weren't aware of most of these details. You just wanted to win the trick or treat contest. The kid with the most candy at the end of the night would win a special prize. You weren't even really sure what the prize was but you knew you wanted it.

"Hang on, your stupid excuse of a genetic supplier seems to be taking his sweet time to get ready even though we all know his costume is going to be something very stupid. Daniel, it's trick or treat and yes, there will be other wigglers your age" he smiles down at you and you can see his teeth over his lip which makes you giggle because they are so much like yours!

"Will we see aunt Jade and uncle John? Aunt Roxy too? What about Dirky and Jakey!" You start to count on your fingers all the family members you know. Your eyes open wide when you notice there are many.

"What's wrong little grub?" Dad crouches to be at eye level with you. He combs your hair out of your eyes and holds your hand in his. You notice that your hand is pretty small compared to his.

"We have a big family! What are we gonna do for Christmas?" He laughs and gives you a big hug, being careful not to ruffle your costume. He places a hand on your cheek and you notice he looks a bit sad. Maybe because he noticed we’re gonna spend lots of cash.

"It'll be fine, bug. We'll find a way to get by, OK?" You pap his cheek to make him feel better and he smiles at you again.
"Dad, your fake fangs are falling off” you poke on the plastic teeth over his real fangs. He stands up and presses the plastic pieces into place; other dad says he’s a werewolf, like the one you saw on the t.v. last week. He dressed up like this because you asked him. You also asked other dad, aunt Kanaya and aunt Rose to dress up as other monsters you saw on the movie. You’re happy they actually did it.

"Of course these things are coming loose, we've been waiting here forever! Dave, come the f*ck on we're going to be late!"

"Calm your jugs, I'm here." Dad comes out of the room as he's tying up his cape. He's going as a human blood drinker, the non sparkly kind. He’s still wearing his shades because you know light hurts his red eyes, but shh it’s a secret.

"You can stop gawking at me, I know I'm a piece of choice ass but as you said, we're gonna be late" He says to dad who’s looking at him with a very mad face. It’s the same face he gives you when you do something bad like break his vase and try to hide it under the carpet. Dad’s in trouble.He looks over to you and you smile real big at him. He smiles back and pulls his shades down to wink at you letting you see a little bit of his eyes. That always makes you happy. You run to his side and ask him to pick you up, which he always does. It’s fun when dad picks you up.

“Come on, we’re gonna be late and Dadkat is gonna get naggy on us” He whispers in your ear. His breath makes you giggle.

“I heard that douche lord!” Dad laughs and runs out the door with you. You’re gonna have a really fun time tonight, you just know it!”

Chapter 17: Halloween isn't scary, our friends are!

Chapter Text

You arrive at the party an hour late. f*ck Dave and his stupid time wasting f*ckery. As you walk in a fair amount of people greet Dave and congratulate his recent success in the music industry. He thanks everyone is his usual demeanor. He presents you as his matesprit and then looks down at Daniel to present him as his son. Humans are clueless enough to look at him and think he's a human, trolls are not as easy to fool; you can see them take a few sniffs knowing that they can smell what you smelled the first time you saw him. He smells like a troll but there is something off putting about him. You know it's his human musk trying mask the troll odor, or so Kanaya and you think, but none of the trolls you encounter mention anything. Of course Daniel and Dave are completely clueless of the looks they shoot you and Daniel. It's better that way.

"Hey Karkat, what table are we at? Please tell me we're not over there were my brother and his dorky as f*ck boyfriend are sitting. Goddamn we probably are" He grimaces as you show him the invitation which has a big "4" printed on it, clearly the table Strider and Jake are sitting at.

"f*ck, well... Let's make the most of it and when I say most of it I mean none of it completely. Absolutely nothing good can come out of this" He takes Daniel's hand and makes his way over to the table.

Your intercepted by Rose and Kanaya who seem to appear out of f*ck no where.

"Dave, Karkat, so glad you could accompany us." Kanaya approaches you and ruffles your outfit. She's a perfectionist when it comes to her designs. It's a fairly good design, you had told her you did not want to wear a mask or any crappy costume pieces the humans seemed to wear for the bark beast attire. She had come up with a hoodie like outfit that looked very much like a shirt you owned with bark beast ears on the top and fur covering the outer area.

"Kanaya, stop f*cking pampering me like a crazed moirail. It looks great." She smiles at you and paps your cheek. You return her small smile and compliment her outfit. You think she's dressed up as a magical wielder, not like the ones in Eridan's books, some humankind that is supposed to be scary in some old stories but of course Kanaya looks like a troll from those fancy magazines. She looks incredible, as always.

From the looks of it, Daniel seems to think so too because his mouth is open and he's looking at her like he's never seen anything better. Kanaya seems to notice and bends over to whisper something in his ear. He nods and turns to you.

"Dad, can aunt Kanny take me to the children's area? We gonna go trick some treats!" You look over at Kanaya and she smiles and nods, answering your unvoiced request to keep him safe.

"Fine, go along with Kanaya. Do not let go of her Daniel. If you get lost, so help me I hunt you down little grub" he nods and takes Kanaya's hand. She turns and tells Rose, who has been busy discussing with Dave about something you didn't quite catch, she'll be leaving for a while to accompany Daniel in the tradition of candy collecting.

You watch them leave, filled with some concern that you quickly dismiss. Kanaya would never let anything happen.

"Come on Rosalyn, just move us a couple of tables. A few, I ain't askin' for much. Don't be such a party pooper, lemme be at some other table" Dave pleads to Rose who rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest. Rose is dressed as what you have been explained to be a death collector of some sort. Again, human costumes. She's holding a plastic scythe in one hand, the synth you know. It was a common weapon in Alternia.

"Dave, I've already told you that I cannot change you and Karkat to a different table. The seating was done months ago and I will not confuse my guests into thinking they can switch around to wherever they please" she picks at the lint on her dress as Dave pouts.

"Well shucks, Lalonde. Can't say I didn't try. I guess I'm gonna have to go and mingle with my dear old bro. At least tell me someone cooler is at my table, besides myself of course"

"Jade, John, Roxy and Terezi" Rose responds after checking a chart.

"Hell yeah, the gang's back together again. Gonna catch up on all the good news and bullsh*t people are supposed to do, we're gonna get our friend love on"

"For f*cks sake, Dave. Do you think you could clamp your mouth shut for a minute or so? The endless amount of waste shooting out of your mouth is contaminating our fronds. Please, try to keep your bullsh*t to a bare minimum" you roll your eyes as Rose smirks.

"No can do, honey muffin. Although if you want to see something at a bare minimum I suggest you go meet me in our hotel room in five minutes" He winks and you give him a shove. He smirks at you, the action managing to almost knock off his fangs.
f*cking handsome bastard in fangs. You really do like his fangs... To be honest you like the majority of his outfit. Kanaya had given a twist to the original blood drinker costume and made it a little more elegant and a lot more modern. Dave had decided to add a sh*tty cape for "ironic laughs." You have yet to laugh.

"You're starin' at me again. What's with you and lookin' at me like a fine piece of prime rib tonight huh?"

"Fangs" you blurt out before you can catch yourself. Both Strilonde siblings raise a questioning eyebrow at you. "I-I mean, your fangs are falling off dipsh*t. You should be more careful" you huff as you cross your arms. Dave seems to want to discuss this further but luckily someone calls out for Rose catching both of their attention.

"Brother dearest, would you please take your seat in the proper place? I have guests to great and I simply cannot stand around to see if you follow the rules for once" Rose looks over at Dave, who is looking at her with a poker face, before rolling her eyes and leaving to talk to whoever the f*ck was calling her.

"Wanna crash table eights chat?" Dave wiggles his eyebrows and you push past him heading over to your designated table.

"I want to have a f*cking drink so get out of my way"

"You're no fun at all. Where's the reckless rebel I married? Don't get married guys, it changes you" Dave says dramatically as he looks over at Dirk and Jake who are talking in whispered voices before they notice you two and turn their attention to a dramatic ridden Dave.

You are pretty sure the whole "marriage" thing is some reference to a human custom but you honestly can't keep up with Dave and his need to reference a f*ckload of human culture references to you even though you do not get more than half of them.

"Ah good to see you ol' sport! Glad you could make it. I was just telling Strider over here we hadn't seen much of you these past few weeks. Karkat, pleasure seeing you again! You look grand." You try and force yourself to responds with an "you do too" but you can't. You're tongue can't even form the goddamn words. Seriously what the f*ck is English even wearing?

"Jake, dude please don't call my bro "Strider" when I'm here. I also share the burden of the Strider name and it gets confusing. Gonna get me confused buddy, I'm sure you don't want that." Dave pats Jake's shoulder before taking a seat next to you.

You decide to ignore Jake's extravagant costume and turn your attention to Dirk; he's wearing pony pijamas. Honestly, you were expecting just that.

"Dirk." You nod at the douchebag in anime shades and he nods back.

"Vantas. You're looking fresh as f*ck" he deadpans. He and Dave only share a fist bump as a greeting.

"By any means do any of you know who else will be sharing a table with us? Rose seems to have failed to inform who are evening pals will be" Jake asks you both.

"Uh yeah... Jade, Roxy, Terezi and John. Speak of the- John. What the f*ck are you wearing?" Dave turns to a white bed sheet with glasses approaching the table.

"Hehe hey Dave! Jade's grandpa, Dave's bro," he nods to them. Jake looks oddly amused at the way John referred to him, "Karkat! You look awesome in your costume. Good look for you, grouchy and scary!" He smiles his bucked toothed grin at you, or so you think. The goddamn piece of cloth is in the way.

"John you worthless piece of space. Why are you wearing a blanket on your head? Is this some human culture thing I don't understand? You look f*cking ridiculous, even more than always and that's saying something. Are you that lazy you couldn't find a decent costume for tonight? Completely disappointing, even my three-sweep-old son looks much better than you."

"Haha, I'd knew you'd like it Karkat. I'm a ghost by the way, you might want to google it just so you can understand. It was kind of a last minute thing, I was planning on wearing my ghostbusters outfit but Rose said I couldn't repeat from last year so I picked the next best thing! If I can't be the ghost buster I'd simply have to be the ghost!" He shrugs and slumps down on his chair.

Dave has his face in his hands while he mutters "oh god please enlighten him" over and over. Jake seems quite pleased with the costume and Dirk looks... Well he never really does look like anything does he?

“Dave, I take it back. If Halloween is all about dorks walking around in bed sheets then yes, it is the most scariest thing I have ever witnessed.” Dave raises his head from the table and winks at you through his shades.

“So what are you supposed to be this year, Dave? Some gothic James Bond?”

“I'm a f*cking vampire, Egbert. I mean, where the fangs too subtle for ya or did the cape deceive you? And you know I don't repeat costumes. I'm sorry to disappoint you but last year was your first and only chance to see me as double-oh-seven”

“Shame I was here to see you last year, I missed an opportunity!” Roxy appears behind Dave and hugs him from behind. She winks at him and walks around the table to take a seat next to Dirk.

“Lalonde, I see you decided to wear a very flashy costume. What happened to “I’m gonna tone it down this year, Dirk”? Was it too much for ya?” Dirk tips his head to the side and Roxy giggles.

“I saw this and it was screaming “Roxy!” So I just had to get it” You roll your eyes at her pun. She's literally wearing a costume from a character of one of your favorite musicals, “Chicago”.

“Oh Jakey! You look rather um… Dashing?” She turns to look at you and Dave with questioning eyes and you both just shrug. You've stopped trying to figure out Strider and English a long time ago.

“Oh my god, I almost forgot! Where is my baby nephew? I got him something really nice, he's gonna loooove it”

“Kanaya stole him as soon as we got here and I think I see Jade over there so you might lose him for another hour” Dave points over to the room where a bunch of wigglers are making there way to the party games.

“So is this gonna be like, the party bus all over again or are we going to actually have fun?” John raises his hands (or you think he does, stupid sh*tty sheet!)

“The party bus was a big flop for two reasons; I got on till the end and Dave was hung over from the night before” You groan at the memory of it.

“I wasn't hung over, I was really tired” Dave mumbles under his breath. You shoot him a look and he sticks his tongue out at you.

“Ugh that's not the point you guys! We’ve got to party big this time!” John shouts as he waves his hands in the air trying to regain everyones attention.

“No f*cking way, Egbert. We’ve got responsibilities” you point between yourself and Dave.

Not today you don't,” Kanaya walks over to your table and fusses with Dave’s collar, “I really don't recall telling you to add a hideous plastic cape to your outfit, Dave. Though you're flashy taste is applauded I suggest you don't alter my outfit at all, yes?” She tugs the ugly cape off and stuffs it in a plastic bag.

“Damn Kan, you ruin the fun. And what do you mean we don't have a responsibility? I'm pretty sure just a second ago you took said responsibility to go trick or treating”

“I'm saying you don't because I have signed him up for the wiggler movie marathon sleepover” Kanaya says as she folds her hands neatly.

“Kanaya, what in the blistering bulge f*ck does that even mean?” You run your brow with your thumb and index finger. Honestly how can anyone expect you to keep up with all this bullsh*t?

“It's an idea Rose and I had to give the older guests a chance to have fun; Your child will be supervised by a group of humans and trolls, a supply of traditional Halloween related meals will be proportioned, activities and a marathon of wiggler friendly movies at the end. I've also made sure to ask several staff members to keep an eye on him, if anything happens I will be informed immediately.” Kanaya concludes very proudly while you and Dave are gaping at her.

“Wow you and Rose really… Put some effort in this.” Dave says as he runs a hand through his hair.

“It's what I would want if I had a wiggler of my own” She looks away and you pap her cheek lightly. You know how much she wants one of her own so you smile at her reassuringly.

“Soon Kanaya, you'll see.” You whisper to her and she gives you a tiny smile.

“Well I must go find Rose, I need to speak to her about the seating charts. Seems we have more guests than chairs” She stands and hovers away. OK she doesn't hover but goddamn it, she looks like she's gliding on the floor when she walks.

“Great! Now the party's officially started!” Roxy pumps her fist in the air and John claps enthusiastically.

Dave looks over at you and holds your hand under the table. You know he's worried for Daniel from the way he keeps looking over his shoulder towards the wiggler section.

“If you sh*t heads will excuse us, we’re going to leave for a minute.”You stand up and pull Dave up so he can follow your lead. Dirk wiggles his eyebrows at you and you roll your eyes.

You shuffle through the crowd of people, some occasionally stop Dave by the shoulder to talk to him about his latest success but he quickly cuts them off and excuses himself.

“You're heading the wrong direction, it's over here” He tugs your hand to the left of where you were heading. You smile at him because he already knew where you were going even though you never told him.

You know Dave was still a little nervous about leaving Daniel to the care of strangers for the first time so you thought that maybe if you paid the wiggler a visit, he’d feel at ease.

The first thing you notice when you enter the wiggler room is that it's very loud. It's decorated in bright orange and green colors, there are little houses constructed out of cardboard boxes where the tiny things walk over to trick or treat, on the other side a bunch of grubs are carving out the orange round thing humans call “pumpkin.” Other grubs are running around pretending to be the character they're dressed as. Some are at a big table stuffing their faces with assorted meals and over to a far side, others seem to be coloring pictures and cutting out figures.

Parents and guardians are walking around with their respective children, other seem to be looking for their young.

You turn to Dave to ask him a question and notice he has a panicked expression on his face. You roll your eyes. He must be overwhelmed from all the children.

“He’s in here, don't worry. Kanaya wouldn't let him be alone.” You whisper to him and squeeze his hand.

“How the hell are we going to find him?” He squeaks.

Just as you're about to answer you hear a loud “Aw damn!” across the room and you smile to Dave.

“Found him” you push past a few trolls who are busy looking at some god awful art project their grub has made (No, you are not being mean, it’s just that some grubs aren’t as talented as yours) and walk up to a tiny group of children gathering around someone, which turns out to be your grub.

“Daniel Strider-Vantas, don’t let me catch you using that word again, you hear me?” You scold the grey mop of hair on the floor who’s eyes open wide and pout.

“Sorry dad…” he mutters. The children and grubs turn to you and then back to Daniel. A teal blood grub, judging by the symbol on his shirt, turns to him and whispers “Danny is that your troll dad?” Daniel turns to him and nods. You turn to tell Dave something but notice he’s not there. He’s a little farther back watching Dan and smiling. You wave a hand to get his attention and usher him to join you.

“You look like an idiot standing there and smiling.” You say to him. His face flushes pink and he clears his throat to make up for his lack of witty comments.

“Dad! Look, I made you a picture!!” Daniel notices Dave and pushes past the group of children making his way to Dave who smiles at you widely and crouches down to see the picture.

“Lemme see what you have here… Is this you?” Dave points at the troll colored ass a skeleton and Daniel nods, “So is this me right here. Why am I stabbing a pumpkin?”

“Cause the pumpkin wanted to take my candy and use it to make candy monsters and take over the world. Pumpkins are bad, daddy. Keep the picture so you can always remember, yeah?” He whisper shouts, much like you tend to do. Dave smiles and ruffles his hair. He folds the picture and sticks it into his back pocket.

“I’ll keep it safe lil’ man. Can’t let those nasty vegetables take away my boys hard earned candies, can I?” Daniel shakes his head and beams at Dave. The kids start mumbling in between themselves and you see another human boy tug at Daniel’s costume.

“Danny, is this your human dad?” he whispers to him.

“Yup, I told you I had two daddies. This is human dad,” He pats Dave’s knee, “The one over there is troll dad” He points at you and waves so you return his little wave.

“I only have two normal dads…” the child frowns and Daniel paps his cheek.

“All dads are good dads” He smiles at the kid and returns his attention to Dave. “Daddy, you need to leave now, aunt Kanny said the trick or treat is about to start and no adults allowed. You and dad have to leave to the adult party. I’m a big kid so I can be by myself” He puffs up his chest and pushes Dave toward you.

“Kickin’ me out already, bug? I’m hurt. At least say bye, don’t ya think?” Daniel nods so Dave crouches. He hugs Dave by the neck and paps his cheek.

“Don’t be sad, daddy. I’ll see you tomorrow” He smiles and then runs to you, “You can’t be sad either dad, okay?” You smirk and reach down to ruffle his hair and click at him. He chirps back and walks away.

Dave walks to your side and hugs you by the waist as he turns you toward the exit of the room and back to the party.

“Our son just kicked us out of his pajama party. I don't know how to feel about this”

“He’s apparently a big kid and can fend for himself. My job as a lus- eh, parent, has been cut short.” You both wiggle your way through the crowd and back towards your table.

“What are we to do now? It’s like we were given our retirement way before we were supposed to receive it and now we have f*ck nothing to do. I’m gonna have to take up some ridiculous sport like golf. Is golf the one with the racket or the stick? f*ck if I know…”

“How ‘bout you stop flapping your jaw and sit the f*ck down and do us all a favor: Take a goddamn shot” Dirk pushes a try of tiny glasses full of what you presume is alcohol towards you and Dave as you arrive at the table.

“So this is how it ends? All human decency lost to this godforsaken liquor” Dave picks two little containers and hands one to you.

“f*ck no, I’m not indulging in your human ceremony of getting sh*t faced and then puking up my insides” You push his hand away.

“Oh come on Karkat, it’ll be fine! Don’t be such a sour Kat. Haha, get it?” John says. You frown.

“No, I do not f*cking “get it”, Egbert. Your jokes are becoming less entertaining as time passes”

“Babe, babe. Shh… Only shots now” Dave hands you the little glass and downs his own. You stare at it and under encouragement of Lalonde and English, you decide “what the hell?” and drink the burning liquid.

Little did you know this was just the first of many to come.

Chapter 18: I put the "boo" in booty-ful

Chapter Text

“Dave, Dave you need to do it again that was cheating!” Karkat nudges your side as you take a bite out of the apple you had just plucked out of the barrel.

‘S not cheating” you say as you chew the apple.

“I have to agree with Mr. Vantas, it's cheating if you just reach in and grab one of those blasted things!” Jake tisks and Dirk smirks.

“Come on, Dave! It's no fun if you don't play by the rules.” Terezi grins.

“Oh whatever, I think it counts. Why do you always have to be such a goody-goody, huh?” John snaps and you lift an eyebrow at him. He’s been in such a weird mood ever since Terezi arrived at the table.

“Hate-flirting.” Karkat whispers to you. His breath tickled your ear.

“It's not my fault you humans have no concern over law and order, John,” Terezi sneers when she said his name, “But alright, Dave you lose. Orange soda eyes is next!” She swings her plastic cane around and points at Dirk.

“Fine, lemme show you kiddies how it's done.” Dirk pulls down the hood of his costume and saunters over to the barrel. He grabs a hold of the sides of it and plunges his face in it.

“So hate-flirting, huh?” You nudge John’s side with your elbow while you all watch Dirk pull out apples with his teeth.

“W-what? No, I don't know what you're talking about!” John sputters into his cup and you smirk.

“No need to get all clueless with me, Egbert. I can recognize some kiss-mess-attitude when I see it.” You wiggle your eyebrows at him suggestively.

“Dave, you’ve been going out with Karkat for five years and you still don’t know quadrant names.”

“No, I know the names I just choose to f*cking destroy them with horrible puns.” John rolls his eyes at you and you shrug.

“Whatever, I'm not in a kismesitude with Pyrope, she just irks me in the wrong way.” John looks to the side and frowns.

“John please, I'm dating the romance expert and if he says he sees some blackrom going on chances are, he’s right.”

“Who's right?” Karkat asks as he walks over to John and you.

“No one, Dave's just being gossipy.” John crosses his arms and huffs.

“God job, orange eyed Strider! Alright everyone, three is the score to beat, anyone want to try?” Terezi cackles as Dirk tosses the apples to Jake.

“How in the blistering f*ck did you manage to pull out three of those things out? They wobble out of reach!” Karkat walks over to examine the barrel before he plunges his head in the barrel.

“I'm next.” John calls out.

“Oh come on, John! You wouldn't be able to beat Dirk’s score in a million years.” Terezi huffs.

“How the heck would you know? I don't think you'd do any better!”

“Oh yeah? You want to see me do better than you?”

“I bet you won't see much of anything at all!” John sticks his tongue out a Terezi and she let out a growl.

“Alright chums, settle down. Both will get a turn and we’ll see who wins.” Jake says calmly as he fixes Dirks hair.

“Yeah, just chill you guys.” You pat Johns back and he tenses.

“I don't think anyone will be getting to prove much,” Dirk points over at the barrel, “Dave your boy just beat the f*ck out of all of us.”

You turn to look at Karkat who's clutching eight apples in his arms, hair and face dripping with water. You all stare at him in disbelief and he shrugs.

“They got stuck on my teeth.” He says with indifference even though his face is pink what with all the gawking everyone is doing towards him.

“Good job, Kk. The rulth thay I have to give you thith card tho you can collect your prithe later.” Sollux shoves a piece of paper in Karkat’s face and turns to sit down on the stool by the barrel.

“I do wonder how it is you got wrangled into doing this job, Mr. Captor.” Jake asks him as he munched on one of the apples Dirk handed him.

“Thop calling me mither, juth call me thollux. And they bribed me with free food, good games and thith cool cothtume.” He gestures to the outfit he's wearing and sighs.

“So what's next? I want to win something as well!” Terezi taps her cane impatient on the floor.

“Why try? You're going to lose anyway.” John mumbles.

“To you? As if! Come on, pumpkin carving is next.” She tugs on John's arm and both walk over to the other side of the room.

“What the heck is up with those two?” Dirk crosses his arms and tilts his head to the side.

“They're blackrom flirting, isn't it obvious?” Karkat says as he shoves the apples in your hands and you frown.

“What the heck do I look like, an apple tree? Why are you giving me these!” You push the apples back into his arms and he backs away.

“I got those for you, asshole. Be kind and say thank you.” He rolls his eyes but by the slight pink tint in his cheeks you can tell he's serious, he really did get them for you. You decide to hold the pile of apples and press a small kiss to his lips.

“Thank you for the best gift ever.” You smile at him.

“Ugh for god's sake, let's just go meet the crazy lovers at the carving station.” Dirk makes a disgusted look on his face and pulls on Jake’s arm.

“Alright, love, no need to tear my arm off. Come on, away we go!” Jake stumbles behind him, you and Karkat follow suit.

Around midnight you've all managed to obtain at least one prize card; Jake and you have one, Terezi and John have three and surprisingly enough your bro and Karkat have five each. It's also safe to say that as time passed you all got more and more sufficiently drunk; Karkat was currently tucked under your arm to keep himself standing straight and Jake kept giggling like a fool. Dirk and you kept your composure... or sort of. You had caught your bro smiling more openly and you kept making completely terrible jokes. Unironically.

“Dav, Dev… Dave!” John stumbles to the table you were all currently sitting around. He bumps into a chair before pulling it out and letting himself fall onto it with a huff.

“Johnathan, Johnny boy. John. What can I do for you?”

“Need your pris, eh, prize cards. I need to beat Terezi!”

“Nope.” You pop the end of the word and smile at him.

“Krakat? Katkat!” He pleads to the troll by your side but he shakes his head.

“Hell no, I won these pieces of cardboard by myself, there is no way I'm losing them to you!” He waves his hand around and affectionately slaps his face. Can someone even slap another person affectionately?

“Guys come on, do it for me!” John whines.

“Pardon me John,” Jake giggles, “But why don't you just smooch the young lady instead of all this competitive f*ckery?”

“Great way of phrasing it, Jakey.” Dirk smiles and Jake giggles again.

“What? I don't even lake her, why would I ever do that! She’s anoning! Annoying.”

“I can smell the blackrom from here, John. Just kiss her, like this!” Karkat proceeds to pull your face to his and crush your mouths together in a messy kiss. You don't complain. Your idiot brother wolf whistles so you decide to flip him off.

“See, like that!” Karkat says after pushing you away. He's a bit out of breath and his cheeks are flushed.

“I'm not doing that!” John laughs, “Dave, just please give me the cars, I mean cards.”

“Huh? No, just get your mack on.” You say, a little dazed from the kiss.

“Geez, quit acting like your 16 and this is some lousy crush, John. Just take her by the waist, pull her towards you and kiss the f*ck out of the blind girl. I'm tired of seeing you both dance around each other!” Dirk runs his hand through his hair in exasperation.

“No, not happening!” He puts his hands hover his ears and starts saying: “lalala I can’t hear you!” making you laugh at him.

“I'll give you two prize cards~” Karkat singsongs.

“Make it three.” He says immediately, even though he was covering his ears.

“Deal.”

You watch as John swipes three cards away from Karkat and slip them into his pocket. He stands up and stumbles over to a table where Roxy, Jade and Terezi are exchanging beverages. He pulls Terezi’s arm to make her stand and smashes their mouths together. Roxy and Jade clap loudly and you join Dirks whistling.

Then you all look away awkwardly when their make out session gets a bit too heavy.

The rest of the night turns into a huge blur; you know that at one point you shook hands with very famous people from the music industry. You would have been embarrassed about your drunken state if they hadn't been in even worse conditions than you.

You also remember Karkat barging into the kitchen and demanding the person in charge to “give him the recipe for the three sauced grub loaf”, whatever the f*ck that was.

At one moment the winners for the costume contest was announced and you see Jade walk onto the stage dressed up as a pirate.

“Hey, being a nautical hottie is my theme!” You hear Vriska call out. Jade flips her the bird and you stand up to clap followed by Terezi and Rose.

Roxy wins as the most sexy costume and she twirls when the crowd cheers and whistles.

Much later, a lot of making out was involved not just for you but for everyone else; Dirk and Jake had decided to be discreet and say they were going to retire for the night but John and Terezi just decided to act like little kids and hide under a f*cking table and make out like horny teens. Not that you were any less guilty; in the moment you saw Kanaya leave Karkat alone, you swooped down and grabbed that bundle of plush rump. In that moment you decided that if your existence was somehow represented in multiple alternative universes, then the only universal constant was Karkat’s perfect ass.

You also know you were able to reach the hotel room in one piece. Giggles and caught zippers are also in your memory. But right now as you're reaching your peak in carnal bliss, you can't be bothered to remember all the details of the party.

You're woken up by an excessively loud ring and someone pounding your head with a hammer.

Oh wait no, you just have a headache.

The ringing needs to f*cking stop. You fumble around in the sheets till you're able to free your arm and feel around till your hand hits the phone and almost knocks it down. You pull the phone towards you and answer it without opening your eyes.

“Yo?” Your voice sounds groggy and f*cked up.

“Hello, Mr. Strider?” A voice asks.

“Yeah, yeah what's up?”

“This is hotel management, Miss Maryam arranged for the parents of the children to be called once the time to pick the children was drawing near?”

“sh*t, it’s 12 already?” You rub your eyes and feel Karkat grunt in confusion.

“No, mr. Strider. Miss Lalonde asked me to phone you at eight. I was under the impression you asked her to reschedule the call,” Oh nice one, sis. Real mother f*cking smooth.

“Oh yeah, totally forgot. Thanks for that. Is Miss Lalonde awake as well?” You repress a snicker as Karkat turns to look at you, hair in an utter mess, with a frown.

“Excuse me, sir no. She scheduled her wake-up call for 2 pm.” The lady sounds confused but you just plow through. Rose wants to f*ck you over? Fine, you’ll just f*ck with her as well. Wait, sh*t no. Ugh.

“Nope, we’re all supposed to leave at the same time. Big family outing today, we talked about this yesterday so maybe she forgot to call the front desk. She cannot miss it. Her nephew will be so heartbroken if she doesn’t show up.” Karkat lifts himself up and looks at you with a confused expression. You only hold one finger up as he groans and flops down onto his back.

“Oh dear, I’ll ring her immediately. I’m sure she’ll be quite displeased if she misses her reunion today. Do not worry Mr. Strider.”

“Yeah, please do. Oh and I think it would be better to send an employee with some breakfast. Oatmeal and raisins are her favorite.” She tells you she’ll send a bellboy right away and you hang up.

“What the f*ck was that? It’s f*ck in the morning why are we being woken up? That’s it Dave, I’m not doing any of these ridiculous parties anymore. I have no clue how much we f*cking drunk last night but let me tell you, human soporifics suck. My head feels like a clawbeast decided to use it as a razor! Why the f*ck are you still wearing your fangs? Holy f*ck are we naked? We pailed last night and I can’t even remember it. This is stupid. I can’t believe I let you talk me into this, you f*cking douche nozzle!” He closes his eyes and rubs his temples.

“We had sex ‘cause you kept saying I looked hot in my fangs. Mystery f*cking solved, so could you please stop screaming? Come on, I wanna see the look on Rose’s face when we leave.”

“By the way, didn’t Rose hate those shriveled grapes? Funny because they’re shriveled up like her heart...” Karkat growls as he pulls on some pants.

“Yeah she f*ckin’ hates ‘em, that’s the point. Yo dude, those are my pants and my boxers.” You make grabby hands at them and he bares his teeth at you making you roll your eyes.

“Finders keepers, f*ckwad.”

______________________________________________________________________________

“Hey, lil dude how was the sleepover? Did you have fun?” You ask Daniel as Karkat checks you out of the hotel. You pick him up and watch as Karkat is handed your credit card from the front desk.

“I had fun. I ate a ton of candies and we saw movies. I met this boy who had a tooth missing! I also won this,” He pulls out a chocolate medal and smiles, “because I had the most candy after the trick or treat. Aunt Roxy and Terezi gave me more but they said shhh.” He brings a finger to his lips and you ruffle his hair.

“Glad you had fun, kid.”

“Come on Striders, I have a very big need for caffeine.” Karkat rubs his temple again. Daniel chirps at him and Karkat clicks a few responses in return. It makes you smile to see them interact in this way.

“Can we go to Mc donald's for breakfast. I want a toy.” He paps your face to get your attention. You look over at Karkat and he shrugs.

“Alright, I’m actually awake to eat breakfast so why the hell not?” Daniel beams and hugs your neck. You rub his back lightly and he begins to purr.

On your way out, you see Kanaya and a very pissed off Rose at the lobby desk checking out. You blow her a kiss and she ever so gracefully flips you off.

Serves her f*ckin’ right.

Chapter 19: A resolution you probably won't commit to

Chapter Text

Dave is laying across your lap while you poke around the new technological device Rose and Kanaya gifted your for twelve perigees… Christmas. It’s supposed to be an easier way to manage your reading material but honestly you like the physical copies better. The smell of the pages, they yellow tint they get when they grow old and the folded pages from it’s overuse.

You’re waiting for it to be a proper time to have dinner and go eat. It’s New year's Eve but you don’t want Daniel to fall asleep so late. So you’ll probably pull both your Striders up to get cleaned up in a while. You and Dave decided to skip the big party this time and stay at home with the boy. Dave’s music studio has been gaining too much attention lately and the media has been following him around snapping pictures and asking too many questions. You both decided that it was safer to avoid huge gatherings in order to keep Daniel safe from public viewings. You know people already know about him, it’s impossible to hide from the f*ckwads who literally gain money by stalking other people, but you rather not subject him to the busy press-life Dave has been going through.

Daniel is sitting on the floor fumbling with a new toy that involves tiny blocks that click together and hurt like f*cking hell when you step on them. You discovered that one he ripped open a bag of those tiny blocks and they scattered over the carpet floor. Dave and him spent half an hour picking them up from the floor but even then you managed to step on a f*cking piece and yelp in pain. You walk around carefully now.

You watch as he clicks some pieces into place and makes objects out of them. You notice he still has dried paint on his hands from where he was playing around with the finger-paint Dave’s alternate self, Dsprite, gifted the little grub. Actually now that you think of it, many people came over to fill your house with gifts; Roxy went back to her city for the holiday but managed to send over a box full of wiggler reading content. Jade gave him more stuffed lusii-looking creatures she had knit and decorated herself. Rose and Kanaya had gifted him the little toys he was currently playing with along with shoving you a complete wardrobe for him. John had bought him many movies along with many cartoons and Terezi had gifted him a video game that John had told her to buy. Oh and that’s not even taking into account everything Dave had bought him and what you had decided to get for him as well. You had spoiled your grub rotten.

“Dad, can Iwe have food time now?” Daniel looks up from where he is sitting and pats his stomach.

“I guess it’s a good time to have dinner. But you need to take a bath. You’re dirty and filled with paint. Dave,” You nudge his arm and he acknowledges you without actually taking his eyes off his cellular device, “I need you to help Daniel clean up.”

“Karkat, I’m in the middle of a business transaction right now.” He says as he keeps typing quickly.

“Well what the f*ck is the “business” that’s got your full attention?”

“Making a sweet contract to make the music for sick new movie.” You nudge his shoulder again and he clicks his tongue.

“I don’t give a flying f*ck if it’s the illest movie in the entire planet. Get your f*cking flat ass off my couch and go fill your responsibility as a lu- f*ck, I mean parent.”

“Karkat, I’m f*cking taking this job for you.” He looks up at you and raises an eyebrow as if this will get him out of parental duties.

“Fine,” you tilt his chin up and give him small kiss. He smiles when you pull away and you smirk, “Thank you for doing something for me, it wouldn’t kill you to do more. But you still need to go clean up our grub.” He pouts but gets up anyway.

“Cool. I can do both. I’m Dave f*cking Strider, father of the year and most acclaimed music writer as of now. I can totally balance sh*t out. Be all like, motherf*cking stealth ninja with my amazing balance. No one will compare to my awesome skills to juggle my life around while I-” You kiss him again and he shuts up. “Yeah ok, I was going nowhere with that, I know.”

“I’m glad we both noticed douchelord. Now get going, I have a lunch to set up.”

“Come on, lil’ dude. Look at you, you’re like a tiny Jackson Pollock, gonna have to see if I can sell you to an art museum.” He picks Daniel up who’s giggling as Dave keeps threatening to sell him to an art display.

You busy yourself in the alimentation block and you can hear Dave and Daniel laughing in the bathroom. Your heart swells as you listen to their laughter and your grubs chirping. You never actually thought you’d have a wiggler to take care on. Certainly not in Alternia, it was impossible. Even when you arrived into this new world, you never gave much thought into having a human family. Not even when you and Dave got together and now… So much has changed. You clench your jaw as a small, traitorous part of your think pan reminds you this isn’t going to last. That the grub will disappear and you’ll be left with a hollow empty space in your blood pusher. The feeling is painful and your eyes sting with unshed tears. How come you never get to be completely happy? It’s like the goddamn world hates you. They give you a taste of happiness and then they take it back like “f*ck karkat, he doesn’t deserve to have this forever.” It’s a load of hoofbeast manure. You feel your tears spill as you serve a table for three. You’ll miss this.

Dave’s steps alert you that they’re coming back. You rub under your eye to rid any evidence of your tears and you clear your throat.

“So can we go?” Daniel is looking up at Dave as they walk into the kitchen. You’re absentmindedly picking at your food.

“Yeah maybe, we’ll have to ask… Karkat?” Dave looks at you with a worried expression and you notice he isn’t wearing his shades.

“What?” You grunt but you know what he’s seeing.

He walks to your side and kisses your temple. No words necessary.

Your meal is nice if you do say so yourself. After a few jabs and teases Dave pulls you back into the conversation and the mood lightens quickly. When dinner is finished you serve them a human dessert that contains no amount of chocolate which Dave is quick to inspect even after asking you three time is you were absolutely sure it had no chocolate.

“Hey, you wanna watch the countdown, Dan? You get to see the fireworks on television.” Daniel nods enthusiastically and runs to the viewing block.

“You OK?” Dave asks as he takes your hand and pulls you into a hug. You give him a small smile and nod.

“Dad come on,I wanna watch the fires explode!” Daniel calls from the other room and you laugh as Dave all but runs out to see him.

You settle yourself next to Dave and Daniel lays across both your laps while you watch the gathering of trolls and humans join to watch the display of lights and countdown into the new year.

“I know you’re still worried, I know things seem difficult at the moment but everything will work out. Rose has a good feeling, you know she’s been right before.” Dave rests his head on your shoulder and you tilt your head over his.

“I wish there was another way. It’s like I’m getting him stripped away from me. I know Aradia said in the future we will have him back but I can’t actually let go of him now. This is the wiggler I know, not the one in the future...” You whisper as you card your fingers through Daniel’s hair. His breathing has switched to a slower pace and you know he’s fallen asleep.

“He’s going to be the same one, babe. We’ll be able to see him grow and become mature. We’ll have new memories with him, Karkat. More time.”

“I don’t want time or new memories, Dave. I want things to stay like this, to do these domestic human things. Why do we have to relinquish our current memories?” You’re not whispering anymore, you’re sort of screaming quietly.

“Karkat, he isn’t ours to keep. He is another Karkat and Dave’s son. We’ll have our own little sh*t to handle when it’s time.”

“f*ck my future self. Always ruining everything for me.” You huff and Dave smiles.

“I’m sure your future self is f*cking current you as we speak. It’s going to be alright. We’ll be alright.” He nudges your shoulder and you growl.

“OK, fine,” you point at the television with your chin, “Your human countdown is about to start.”

“Babe, it’s not even human anymore. Look, a bunch of trolls are there too. It’s a tradition, saying goodbye to an old year. Starting a new one with new expectations and resolutions.” He drapes his arm over your shoulder and you lean into him.

“I’m sorry Troll Cummings, since when did you get so f*cking fancy and eloquent in what you say?” You snicker as he scoffs.

“Excuse you. I grew up and learned about life, asslick.” He sticks his tongue out at you and you snort.

“Very mature, bulgesucker. So, as part of your pointless human tradition, what is your resolution for this new year?” You look up at him and he thinks for a while.

“Protect my family.” He shoots Daniel a glance and kisses your forehead. You do not blush.

“You’re such a big sap.”

“You love it.”

“Can’t say I don’t.”

“Well, what about you? Since you keep bugging me about my utter adoration for you, come on wise guy tell me what you have planned out?” You roll your eyes but think for a moment. So many things come to mind but they all seem be so shallow or stupid.

“OK,I got it. I’ll learn to let things unravel instead of forcing them to fit together like stupid puzzle pieces, just let things play out.” You shrug.

“Calm down, there you’re starting to sound too much like me.”

“That’s what happens when two people live together for so long, nook stuffer. They grow on each other.”

“Oh, look who’s acting like a regular A class poet now.”

“Shut up, the countdown.” You point back to the screen and watch the counter drop to zero. The cheering of trolls and humans is cut by the colored light show going on in the back. You can hear the fireworks outside of your building also exploding.

“Happy new year, asshole.” You lean over to kiss Dave. It’s sweet, slow and full of love. His hand cups your face and his thumb smooths under your eyes. You look at each other and you smile because you know you both look like total fools.

“Love you, Karkat.” He kisses you again and you melt into his embrace, being careful not to rustle Daniel from his sleep.

“You know you’re not going to even get close to fulfilling your resolution, right? You’ll probably loose your sh*t in two weeks.”

“Shut the f*ck up… I know.” You pout and he laughs. He’s been laughing quite a lot lately. It makes you want to kiss him again. So you do.

“Why can’t it be new years every day so you can keep mackin’ on me like your life depends on it?” He says when you pull away.

“Why do I love you?” You mutter but kiss him again anyway.

“Because I’m like you only pretty.” He flutters his eyelashes and you smirk.

“Yeah, I’m sure it was that.” You nuzzle his neck and look back at the television.

This sense of domestic life isn’t going to last but you’ll take what you can. Daniel needs to go back to his own timeline... You just hope you’ll get it back after he leaves.

Chapter 20: The life of the rich and domestic

Chapter Text

You wake with a start. You're sh*tty alarm didn't go off. Great going, Vantas.

You sit up on the bed and pop your joints slowly, if you're late might as well make the most of it. You swing your legs over the edge of the bed and wince when they touch the floor. It's freezing, you f*cking hate this new climate you've had to adapt yourself to. In Alternia it was always the same temperate; sure it fluctuated once in awhile but it was always around the same degree. Hot as hell. But now you're on this new planet where the temperatures change based on what Lalonde and older douche Strider have called "seasons." Something involving this planet's gravitational pull towards the center star though you don't really care about the scientific facts, you just know it sucks and that's it.

You slip your feet in those ugly pair of slippers Dave gave you for your birthday last year. They look like his brothers phallic nosed puppets, though these have a hole in their rears so you can plunge your foot into them. Dave's idea of a joke, "Here you go Karkat, you can literally shove your foot up their asses" he had snickered. f*cking asshole.

You walk over to your bathroom to check yourself in the mirror and grunt when you see your reflection. Dave managed to leave an assortment of purple marks all over your neck down to your collarbone. Your hair looks like a squawk beast's nest but well, to be honest, it always does. At least the blackish bruise like marks under your eyes are fainting... To think it only took five years and for you to die twice.

You walk out of the bathroom after relieving your bladder and washing your teeth. You shuffle over to your drawers and pull out a pair of jeans and a dark blue v-neck sweater, a gift from Kanaya.

After pulling out the sweater so it could hang loose around your body, you decide to wrap a grey loop scarf around your neck to hide all the goddamn marks Dave left on you. You drag your feet out to the kitchen and decide to drink a glass of the purple juice Daniel seems to like so much, it tastes exactly like a juice you used to like back on Alternia.
When you open the cooling unit you notice a note stuck on it with bright red letters:

You roll your eyes at his stupid signature. He always trying to piss you off by being overly dramatic. You smooth your fingers over his carefully written letters. You swear he only learned how to write in fancy cursive for some stupid ironic purpose but you can't help but feel a twinge of envy; compared to your big bold squiggly letters he looks like he's a master of calligraphy. Even when he intents to write in Alterninan his letters are precise and smooth on paper. f*cking fancy f*cker.
You notice Daniel also added his name, carefully tracing over the letters Dave dotted for him.

You fold the note and slip it into your pocket, it’s kinda cute...

So the asshole decided to change your plans for you. That was incredibly... Kind of him. Whatever.

You decide to text Kanaya and tell her you'll be able to meet her for lunch. She tells you she'll see you at the small alimentary block, bistro, half past one.

You've still got a few hours to spare so you go around the house picking up anything Daniel has left on the floor and cleaning up whatever you notice is untidy.

Around twelve you've pretty much finished so you head to the abulation block to fix yourself up. As soon as you exit the block, the phone rings. You look at it perplexed for a few seconds, not many people have your house number, usually reserved for emergencies so you're a bit worried when you answer.

"H-hello?" You stutter.

"Hello sir, is this Mr. Strider?" A voice you don't recognize asks.

"No, he's not here. Who is this?"

"Oh. Are you perhaps Mr. Vantas?"

"Yes, who are you?" You insist.

"Mr. Vantas would you confirm or deny your engagement to Mr. Strider?"

"W-what?" You sputter at the question.

"Rumor has it your wedding is being planned at this moment by miss Maryam. Is the reason behind your marriage due to the public now knowing about your son's existence? Were you trying to hide him from the media. Mr. Vantas?"

"Look I don't know who the f*ck you are, asshole but I can tell you that I haven't been invited to any wedding. My invitation must have got lost in the mail. Either way, you can call again and tell me how the wedding was, OK?"

"But Mr. Van-" The person never gets to finish their sentence. You hang up and look at the phone like it suddenly grew limbs. What the f*ck was that even about?
It was a strange phone call and you make a mental note to talk to Kanaya about it when you meet her today. Speaking of which, you decide to get up and go, Kanaya's always rather early to any of your outings so it would be decent of you to arrive before her for once.

Turns out even if you arrive an hour earlier, Kanaya will just beat you to it. You arrive ten to one and walk into the place to see Kanaya's horns poking over the top of a booth. You walk towards her and see her jade colored lips smile at you. She's wearing what she would refer to as a casual ensemble but what you call "the less elegant thing I could find in my closet" outfit; it's a simple black dress with a v-line neck that finishes just above her cleavage area, it's only detail is a satin ribbon around her waist in the same color of her dress. You mentally curse her for making you so aware of the fashion details you so happily ignored before.

"Kanaya, what is it with you and arriving extremely early whenever we meet up?" You say as you slide into the booth seat in front of her.

"You're finally wearing your own clothes, thank God. I was getting tired of seeing you in Dave's large shirts," She completely ignores your question and reaches to tug at your scarf, "Although honestly this scarf is not appealing at all, it's too close to the color of your skin." She pulls at it and you catch her wrist.

"Kanaya, I know it f*cking clashes but you might not want to tug-"

"Nonsense, Karkat I know what I'm doin- Oh my." She pulls it down to reveal the red marks around your neck. Her cheeks tint slightly green, she purses her lips to hide a teasing smile and looks away.

"f*cking told you not to do that..." You whisper as you adjust your scarf. You feel your own face heat up when she giggles.

"Been busy? I'm glad to know you and Dave are OK."

"Har-har, Kan. It's not funny, the f*cking bastard did this on purpose!" You whisper-yell, which considering it's you, it's more of a yell than a whisper.

"Clearly his mind was set on ruining your day." She takes a sip of her tea, a small smirk still playing on her lips.

"Can we please stop talking about my sex life? We're adults, we have a healthy romantic life and we occasionally pail. Let's treat it like it is and get over it, shall we?" You finish proudly. Spoken like a mature troll if you do say yourself.

"Of course, Karkat. No need to laugh at the fact that you are probably the only one with a partner who gets claimed by their lover all the time." She winks and you flush. It's not claiming! It's... Well maybe. Agh, Kanaya is always trying to mess with you!

"Shut the hell up. We are not talking about this. You said you had things to tell me about New Yarden and the fashion line so come on."

"Oh yes, the fashion line, and it’s New York, "New Yarden" was back on Alternia.” She giggles, “I've nearly completed it, dear. I've got a few pieces I'm still not content with but I might be able to pull something out that's just as innovating as the rest of the collection." She dabs her lips with a napkin and holds her hand up to get the waiter's attention.

A young troll walks over towards you to take our order. He flushes at the sight of Kanaya and your roll your eyes and smirk. You have to admit she has a very unique beauty, even for human standards. You've told her more than a few times that she belongs in the dresses she makes not under the needle that makes them but she says that being on the cover of glossy magazines isn't her thing.

"...that will be all for me. Karkat, have you had a chance to look over the menu?" She looks at you, one eyebrow raised.

"sh*t uh, I'll have the grub loaf sandwiches and a side order of human vegetables. Could you bring me a glass of grape juice as well?" You mutter as you point at the first thing you see on the menu. The waiter nods and leaves. You really like this place, it serves human and troll food and even has beverages from both cultures. Grape juice is your favorite.

"So you're almost done with your fashion line. That's pretty incredible. When are you going to release it?"

"It's intended to come out before December starts. I want to have enough time to go over the last details."

"That's real great, Kanaya. I'm glad things have worked out for you in this new life." A smile tugs at the corners of your mouth and you let it break out on your face, no point in hiding your feelings from your moirail.

"Incredibly so, I'm very thankful for it. Karkat if you don't mind me changing the subject a little I've been meaning to ask you, while I was away in New York a few journalist tried to convince me you and Dave were going to be human wed and that I was going to plan the event. Karkat, do you wish to talk to me about something?" She folds her hands on the table, her expression is one of curiosity and hurt.

"Oh great, they got to you as well? God f*cking dammit I swear the media on this cluster f*ck of a planet is horrible!" You groan and cover your face with your hands.

"So it isn't true? You are not going to marry Dave?" The hurt look on her face is replaced with one of disappointment and you can help but pap her face and give her a comforting smile.

"No Naya, we aren't getting married." You tell her as you give her cheek a light pap, she smiles at the nickname Daniel has come to use with her.

"I always thought... Well you two seemed so close and serious I thought that maybe the child..."

"I'm not sure when it will happen or even if it will happen, Naya. With the wiggler, Dave being head of some music company and me trying to finish human college I don't think we've ever even had time to consider it. It's just not happening right now." You pat her hand softly and she nods.

"I understand. I just want you to know I'll be waiting for the moment you come to tell me you need help." She winks and you give her hand a squeeze.

You're about to ask her more about the situation when the waiter arrives with your beverages. You both say your thank yous but the waiter lingers for a while.

"E-excuse me Miss Maryam, sir," he says as he turns to you, "The manager has asked me to inform you that there are a couple of people in the table over there," he subtly tips his chin to the side gesturing at a table where two people are glancing over to where you are seated, "they've been taking your pictures. The manager noticed and would like to know if you'd like for him to take care of the situation."

"Oh dear, I'm so sorry to cause Elizza so much trouble. Tell her it's fine, I am used to these type of things happening. If they do not bother us there is no need to bother with them." She smiles at the troll who's ears turn pink. He nods and walks away.

"Why are they taking pictures and who is Elizza?" You ask with a confused expression.

"Elizza is the manager of this bistro, a friend of Rose and mine. The people over there trying to capture our image are what humans call paparazzi." She sips from her tea once again and you shake your head.

"What are parapasi?"

"Honestly Karkat you're just like Daniel changing words in so many strange ways," she shakes her head and you pout a bit, "Paparazzi are humans who get paid to take pictures of you doing daily activities for the intents of creating gossip. There is a whole industry revolving around it.”
“That’s f*cking stupid, humans are f*cking idiots.”

“Hmm yes, but they are great at fashion.” You actually laugh at her attempt to joke around.

As you’re walking out of the bistro with Kanaya, the two men who had been looking at you approach you both.

“Excuse me, Karkat Vantas?” He asks you as the other takes another picture.

“What, who are you?”

“I’m a reporter. Is it true your wedding with Dave Strider, owner of Sick Beats co, has been cancelled?” He jabs a tape recorder in your face and you back away from him.

“Wedding, what damn wedding? We were never going to get married!”

“So you're not married but you have a son? Was it adoption? Dave Strider is very close to Roxanne Lalonde, ecto-scientist, right? I hear you’re friends with Jade Harley who also dabs in the field.”

“What the hell do Roxy and Jade have to do with any of this, who the f*ck do you even work for?” You grab Kanaya’s wrist and begin to walk towards the parking lot, the men close behind.

“Mr. Vantas is it safe to say your child is product of your combined DNA with Mr. Strider? Has this ever been attempted before? I know scientist have been investigating for years but it still hasn’t given any results. Has Miss Lalonde chosen two of the New Earth’s creators to put her experiment to the test?”

“Go away, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” You push Kanaya into your car and circle around to get into the driver's side. You don’t say anything as you pull out of the parking lot towards your building.

“I think it is safe to say those men were not after me.” She sighs.

“Kanaya, please not now. I’m wrapping my think pan around this whole sh*tshow that just happened to us while driving. Which I might remind you, I’ve barely begun to get a hang of. Not much use of it on Alternia, the only f*cking way you can get around on New Earth. f*cking idiotic if you ask me. I can’t believe we’ve been subjected to all these human f*cking contraptions and assholes trying to invade my privacy I can’t believe this f*cking sh*t!”
“Karkat dear, I know it’s absolutely insane but please calm down, we can talk about this.” She paps your arm and you sigh deeply.

You drive in silence to your building, thinking about the things you’ll tell Dave.

He’s going to listen and listen to you really f*cking well.

“Do you understand how f*cking insane this is? A wedding, Dave. They made up a f*cking wedding all because someone took a picture of us in some fancy restaurant. I honestly started to believe we were actually going to get human married after I was asked so many times! I thought… I thought you were… I don’t f*cking know.” You throw your hands up in the air while he rubs the bridge of his nose.

“Did you… Karkat do you want to get married?” He lifts himself from the couch and tugs on your wrist to stop your pacing. “Karkat, hey look at me. Is that why you’re mad?” He hugs your waist and you bury your face under his chin.

“No! No… I’m just mad because this is our life they’ve invaded, Dave. You get a little fame and suddenly they’re all about your life, they don’t care if it’s just not you who they’re f*cking over. What about Daniel? They’re asking about him too, Dave. I won’t let a bunch of stupid bulgesucking nosey humans hurt my wriggler, you got it asshole?” Your voice cracks in the end and you hate yourself for it.

“I’m sorry, babe. I never thought I’d actually make it big with this sh*t… It just took off. I know you’re not used to this, neither am I. We’ll work through this just like we worked through my goddamn melt down. I’ll take care of you, both of you.” He hugs your waist and you can’t help but giggle.

“I forgot you can actually be a mushy romantic once in awhile.”

“Oh f*ck off, I’m saying something nice and caring and you’re making fun of me. How insensitive.” Dave pulls away and pouts making you laugh.

“You know I’m going to have to do some sort of press damage, right? Talk about it straight.”

“Nothing about you is straight, Dave.”

“OK, now you’re just messing with me. I’m serious, people are going to have to know. We can’t keep this to ourselves anymore.” He sighs and flops back onto the couch. You shrug and lay across his lap.
Daniel, who has been playing with some soft molding material called play-dough (very original humans), stands up from his playing area and crawls on top of you purring contently.

“Got a bunch of cats for a family. Hell yeah.” You punch Dave’s arm making Dan giggle.

“So you are going to talk to the public about this?” You say as your thread your fingers through Daniel’s grey strands of hair.

“Yeah, there’s no other way. Might as well drag Egbert into this whole situation since it's practically his fault.”

“Alright, but keep the little grub out of it. He doesn’t need to get caught up in this cluster f*ck.”

“He’s priority numero uno.” His Spanish is choppy and it makes you snort.

“Stop being such a domestic parent.” You tell him but you don’t actually mean it.

Parenthood seems to be the thing that you’re good at, who would’ve guessed?

Chapter 21: Who ordered the domestic family moment with a side order of problems?

Chapter Text

"Daniel please sit down" Karkat pleaded once again as the small troll stood from his seat in the cart.

"No, no, no! I want to see the glub beasts! Dad please please!" He bounced up and pouted. Dave swore for one second he was seeing his younger self. The boys dirty white strands of hair fell in his face as he bounced in his seat. He pushed them away revealing his bright red eyes which he covered up with a pair of kid sized shades.

"Dan please, just let me finish our list and we can go see the glub beasts." Karkat held his chubby little arms and tried to sit him down but Daniel refused.

"No, no, no!! Daddy take me to the glub beasts!" He whacked Karkat with his shades and Dave chuckled. Karkat turned his head towards him and looked at him with pleading eyes. Aw f*ck, Dave couldn't refuse those eyes.

"Hey bug, you wanna go with me to see the fishes?" Dave held his arms open for Daniel who pushed against Karkat and reached for Dave.

"Yes pa' I wanna see the glub fishes! Take me please!" Karkat passed him over to Dave and the little wiggler clapped his hands together, "Let's go pa' go go go!" Karkat mouthed a thank you and Dave winked at him before having his hair yanked. "Pa' now! Come on, come on!"

"Hey baby don't pull pa's hair. It’s gonna hurt him. Do you wanna hurt pa'?" Dave pouted at tiny Daniel who just touched his cheek and papped him.

"No pa' don't get hurt. Don't cry, shhhh." He pinched Dave to check if he was okay and then smiled at him. "All gone, papa. Shoosh-pap makes it better!" He hugged Dave by the neck and tugged at his shades. "I wanna see your special eyes pa' please!" He kept tugging at his shades till Dave brought a finger up to his lips.

"Shh. Ok, ok but don't scream baby. Just for a tiny bit because it hurts too much if I take them off for so long, okay?" Dave lifted his shades up to his forehead and blinked a couple of times in an attempt to adjust to the lighting in the supermarket.

Daniels eyes widened and his smile did too. He touched under Dave's cheek and then pulled the blonds shades back on, "Keep them hidden and don't let them see it, shhh" he put a finger to his lips and giggled.

Dave smiled at his tiny troll and nuzzled his neck. The boy started to giggle and push against Dave's face.

"No papa, fish glubs! Come on. Really fast pa', go fast." He smiled at Dave and clapped his hands together.

"Dan, you need to say fishes or Glub beasts. Not both. Okay baby?" Dan pouted and tugged at Dave's sleeve. "Ok, ok. You want me to go fast?"

"Yeah yeah! Swoosh, like that!" He said as he made a gesture with his hands, simulating a plane.

"Alrighty Bug. Hold on, okay? You know what to do." Daniel nodded his head in response. He held on tight to Dave's neck. He smiled at Dave and nodded enthusiastically again. The blond hugged the child to his body and closed his eyes. He needed to concentrate when he flash stepped with Dan in his arms. Didn't wanna go around dropping his bundle of giggles. Momma Kat would lose his sh*t faster than a he could count to 20. And boy could Dave count fast. He could go as fast as a- Ok sidetracking. He needed to focus and just...

Hell yes, he did it. Child safely gripped to his neck, no incidents happened and look at that, glub beas- er, fishes.

"Yay pa' you did it! You made me go fast and we went fast! I love fast, fast is fun. We should make daddy go fast, he needs to go fast too. Yes daddy should come with us to go fast, can daddy come with us to go fast? I think he should come to go fast-" Dave brought a finger to Daniel’s lips.

"Calm down bug, you're going on a loop here. Remember you need to breathe before talking or you're gonna get tired. Ok?" Daniel nodded and took in a deep breath. He had a tendency to repeat things over and over just to get his point across. Kind of like what Karkat did when he ranted long minutes about a single topic but less annoying and more endearing. "Daddy doesn't like to go fast, remember Dan? It makes him feel bad and get sick." Dave cracked a smile as he remembered the time he decided to flash step with Karkat. He had puked right after.

"Glub beast!! Look, I want one like this. And that one too. Can I have this one too? Maybe this hop beast? Ew, I don't like the slug bugs, they are slimy and make my hands sticky!" He hopped around looking at the tanks filled with fishes, frogs and snails while pressing his nose up to the glass and talking to the critters.

He would tug on Dave's hand to show him a particular animal that would catch his interest but after looking around for awhile he started to yawn.Daniel turned and lifted his arms to Dave asking to be picked up which Dave obviously complied to.

"All done looking at the glub beasts?" Karkat strolled over to them with the kart and opened his arms when Daniel reached for him.

"Seems so. This lil' man is all tuckered out." He passed the boy over to Karkat and switched to pushing the kart as Daniel wrapped his arms around Karkat’s neck and buried his head in the crook of the older trolls neck. He started purring instantly.

As they walked to the cash register, a elder troll walked past the couple and looked over at Daniel. She made a face of distaste and let out a short hiss. Karkat moved Daniel out of her sight and made a strange sound that sounded like a growl but deep and treating. Dave immediately stepped in between his child and boyfriend and the elder troll, taking a protective stance.

"Move." He deadpanned at the troll in front of him. She bared her teeth and Karkat let out a growl that even made Dave shiver. Her eyes widened and she scurried past them.

"Hey, it's alright. She's gone now." Dave said as he turned back to Karkat. He was still making a buzzing sort of noise, his pupils dilated, ears pointed up and gaze lost and feral. "Babe, calm down it’s all right. Look at me," Karkat’s ears twitched and lowered again. His eyes focused on Dave and he blinked a couple of times.

"I'm Sorry. I don't know what..." He looked down at Daniel who was still sleeping and nuzzled the top of his head.

"It's alright babe. Old troll with old habits. You know how they get." He hugged Karkat by the waist and kissed his temple.

"Is it always going to be like that? Some old piece of sh*t troll is going to threaten my son and I'm going to bare my fangs and lose control over myself?" He looked up at Dave with concern.

"Maybe. It's a primitive instinct. That's what Kanaya and Aradia said, remember? Something trolls haven't needed to use since your ancestors. Of course you don't know how to control yourself. You're like a f*ckin' werewolf just learnin' how to use his human instincts and overcome his savage side. Gonna be howlin' at the moon and be all fangs and claws for a while till you learn how to keep that sh*t under wraps. Then you can go out and kill evil vampires and sh*t."

"Your human reference to blood drinkers and beast trolls is lame and idiotic. But thank you, I get your point." He patted Daves cheek and smiled shyly at him.

They reached the checkout without any more incidents but as they were walking back to their car, Dave saw some figures hiding behind some bushes.

"Get in the car, babe. Just go in with the kid." He whispered to Karkat who looked over, saw the humans and trolls with their cameras and rolled his eyes without another word.

Dave finished loading the car only to turn around and see a group of photographers and journalist surrounding him. He cursed under his breath as he ignored the questions and circled around to get in his car, Karkat already inside looking anywhere but the cameras.

"Is it always going to be like this? Dave, we can't f*cking go out without these sh*theads following us around. I can't even go to the currency unit without getting my f*cking picture taken.

“It won’t, I promise it won’t. I’m a temporary thing, I’m just the new thing. Once they get bored they’ll leave us alone.” Dave said with a smile even though he was trying to believe his own words. He knew things would be though, things with the media were always tough but it was expected. He would just have to concentrate his efforts in protecting Karkat and Daniel.

He saw Karkat chewing his lip next to him and held his hand, giving it light reassuring squeeze. In the back Daniel was chatting to his crab doll about the fishes he saw in the supermarket. He sighed and pulled out of the parking lot. It seemed like when things couldn’t get harder, they had to prove him wrong.

Chapter 22: The wonder days

Chapter Text

After the incident at the supermarket, things hadn’t gotten any better. On the contrary, if you were to asked to say how worse this problem get, you would say it’s at least four times worse. People follow you to your work building, to your friend’s houses, to your brother’s house. Jesus f*ck if they could follow you to the bathroom you’re sure they would! The last straw is the day the follow you home.

You arrive at your building and immediately sigh. The front door is packed by people with cameras, microphones and notebooks. Can’t a guy get a little peace and quiet at his own crib? You park the car and rush out trying to hand the keys to the valee but are instantly swarmed by the media pushing and shoving you all over the place while the kind troll who works as your doorman tries to make way for you.

“Dave Strider, any statement on the ongoing rumors about your illicit ecto experiments? Is it true you’re sisters have something to do with this?” One women with a pair of hideous purple glasses asks while you snort at the question.

“Is it true that miss Roxy Lalonde is currently experimenting with ecto-slime? Is she on the brink of a new discovery? Are you a natural blond? Is Mr. Vantas actually a candy blood? How long will the child live?” The question bombard you until you reach the front door, but it’s the last one that has you coming to a complete stop and making your blood boil. You turn towards the troll who had the audacity to ask if your child was going to die any time soon and approach him. The other people around you seem to sense your anger and fall into silence, all of them making way for you.

“Is this what you’re paid for? To ask me about my social life, to come and f*cking ruin my personal life and ask me if my son is about to die? Are you f*cking sick, asking me about the date of a child’s death or are you some type of insane weirdo who gets a kick out of these things? Lemme tell you all one thing, if I catch you standing around my building one more f*cking time, I’ll sue the living daylights out of all of you and your mothers. You’re gonna end up in jail so many years that your grandchildren are gonna end up serving half your time. You got that, blue blood?” You poke the troll's chest and quickly snatch his microphone out of his hands, throwing it on the floor and making sure to let everyone hear the crunch it makes under your shoe.

You slam the door shut on your way into the building and you make your way to the reception. "Yo, lady. Where's the security guard." You ask the woman who’s currently scribbling something down paying no mind to the camera flashes outside.

"I'm sorry he's in the bathroom. Do you need anything, maybe I can help you." She says in a monotone and practiced manner that clearly translates as you can ask but I won’t help anyway. She doesn’t even take the time to look up and keeps on moving her pencil on whatever she seems to be writing on.

"I need a goddamn security guard checking who comes in. Goddamn news reporters and paparazzi have been following me and my family like we’re giving out free money or some sh*t. What the hell kind of business are you running here, letting whoever the f*ck waltz in like it's nobody's goddamn business?" You're aware of your increasing tone of voice but the lady doesn't seemed fazed at all, she lifts her head up and looks at you with a poker face that would leave Dirk impressed.

"Yes, correct but we don't pay out guards to inquire everyone's personal necessities in the building. I suggest you hire a bodyguard If the fame is too much for you." She gives you a condescending smile and you glare at her though your shades. So she thinks this is a joke, that it’s funny to be stalked because she's too f*cking lazy to deal with the problem? Alright, no more Mr. nice Strider. Was that even a thing? Who cares, you had more pressing matters to attend to.

"What's your name." You ask in the most casual tone you can muster up at the moment. This seems to confuse her and she tips her head to the side, "Excuse me?" she asks with clear confusion on her face. You give her a smirk.

"Your name, what is it. Don't tell me you forgot your name. sh*t lady, your problem goes beyond a drastic case of 'lazy-itis you might have memory loss too." She purses her lips and frowns at you.

"Delma View. May I ask why you need my name sir." She's clearly ticked off and you can basically see her annoyance when she calls you sir.

"Because I'm going to fire you and hire new staff. Goddamn place needs a renovation so let's start with that." You turn on your heel as she blinks and stutters. Your black shoes tap against the linoleum floor. A door swings open and you stop it with your foot, "Yo dude, I wouldn't bother sitting back down, management says you're fired." You tell the security guard who's walking out of the bathroom while texting.

"Rose says you fired management." Karkat says a he arrives with a sleeping Daniel on his shoulders. He’s also carrying a few bags in his other hand and you can’t understand how he hasn’t dropped anything yet.

"Ain't she quick? Yeah, they're not doing their job. I don't f*cking pay them to ignore their tenants." You huff as you tap away on your phone, sending Dirk a text that says: Get me new workers, k tnx bye ;) .

He rolls his eyes and drops a bag on the counter while shuffling Daniel around who’s still got a grip on his shirt collar and clinging to him like a tiny koala.

"You want some help?" You say, standing up and opening your arms to let him pass you the boy.

"Are you kidding me? I've been doing this since he was five inches shorter than me, I think I can handle him now that he's the size of a large grub." He starts putting the bag of groceries away and you grin.

"I love it when your domestic." You smile and you know if you were in one of those sh*tty animes your eyes would be doing heart-eyes right now. Heart-eyes mother f*cker, big ones.

"Shut your goddamn mouth. Read this sh*t, I need to know how to make it." He tosses you a can of what seems to be baby formula but the label is in Alternian. You don’t even try to make heads or tails of it you just poke the container and shake it around.

"f*ck I can't read this sh*t, dude." You say trying to read the big bold letters.

"Yes you can, read it to me while I prepare this human sh*t." He frowns at you and starts pulling out different bottles and containers from the cabinets.

"What's the difference with this human formula and the troll version?" You lift your shades to get a better look at the label. The harsh looking letters explain the instructions and you begin to read it carefully, sounding out the words you’re unsure of.

"I went to see Tavros today under recommendation of pink Lalonde-" he says as he adds water to a pot and sets it to boil.

"Can you just call her Rom- I mean, Roxy." Brain slip. You might have some mommy issues, who can blame you?

"Whatever. The wiggler had a human check-up and Tavros said he was a slight underweight and a bit weak which is why he keeps sleeping so much." He shuffles around your kitchen pulling out a container with powders all while keeping his hold on the boy.

"You've evolved into some sort of monkey mom. How are you even doing that?" You say with a confused expression as you watch him shuffle around the kitchen and juggling objects in his arms.

He stills and his lips set in a hard line, "Are you even listening to me? The product of our mutual slime slurry is practically sick and you're sitting there speaking of monkeys."

"Don't be such a drama mom. So he's a bit underweight, it's not our fault. His mix-match of an anatomy is f*cking impossible to understand. What did Tavros even say about it all?" You begin to rip the bag of weird looking flakes and begin to measure the correct amount with a measuring cup.

"That we should combine grub formulas to give him the necessary nutrients from both our species. Are you done?" He points at the cup in your hands and you shrug.

"From what I understand, mind you it ain't that f*cking much, this sh*t says we should heat up whatever the f*ck is inside, let “them” cool and proceed to crush them in some liquid." You're about 80% sure that's what it says. Look at you, linguistic master.

"Sounds about right. Go on, get to it." He says bumping you with his hip. He begins to slowly let the kid slip and he has to pause to keep adjusting his hold. You sigh and shake you head.

"Karkat put the kid down." You frown at him when he starts to fumble around in the kitchen and the small boy begins to complain about the jostling.

"No, he's mine." He holds him away from you and you roll your eyes at his tone.

"He's 50% mine. Don't be a selfish prick." You smile and open your arms. He sighs and gives him up. You kiss his forehead because he's the best troll parent ever.

After you've finished laying Daniel on the couch, you go back to the kitchen to work with the troll formula. You pry the lid open and freeze when you see the contents.

"I'm am not f*cking feeding this to my kid, dude. I'm pretty sure the FDA would not approve of this." You shake the plastic bag around and the little grub sh*ts move around making soft cricket noises.

"Don't be a wiggler." He says as he moves around the kitchen flipping sh*t in pots and pans.

"I'm not being a wiggler but I'm pretty f*cking sure these sh*ts are." You hold the package up for Karkat to inspect. He leans over and rolls his eyes when he sees them.

"Scuttlers are not grubs. I've cooked the adult version of these loads of times and you've eaten them. Just because these are small doesn't make them any less different." He says shoving the bag of creepy crawlies back into your hands.

"You've fed me these sh*t?! Oh f*ck I'm gonna hurl." You shiver and put a hand up to your mouth.

"Don't be a weenie. They're practically the troll version of crabs." He says as if it’s the most normal thing in the world.

"Oh. This is still hella gross." You say as you throw them into a pot of water Karkat has been heating.

"Your face is goddamn gross but I still kiss it."

"Har-har."

A/N: Karkat POV

You watch as Dave feeds Daniel with an unsteady hand. He scoops the mix of human and troll formula into the spoon and splatters half of it on Daniel’s bib. You chuckle and he grunts while Daniel giggles.

"Why do I suck at this?" He says as he tries again, this time he actually reaches Daniels mouth. The boy claps his hands when Dave puts the spoon in his mouth.

"You don't suck, the baby bug thinks you’re good at it." You smile at him and Dave blushes. Daniel pats his hand to get his attention again. He points at his mouth and Dave nods. They keep at it and Dave keeps making strange faces to get Daniel to chew correctly. You can’t believe you’ve been sitting here for about an hour watching Dave feed a grub. But then again, you guess thats parenthood? You wouldn’t f*cking know, you have nothing to compare it to.

Daniel begins to protest and push the spoon away when the bowl of food is almost done and Dave begins to hit his forehead against the table, "Come on baby boy, it's just a little more! Look, am nam." He begins to make chewing sounds and his face contorts as Daniel follows his movements.

"Oh my god what in the name of all that is holy are you doing?" You can't help it, you’re laughing your ass off, holding your middle to keep breathing.

"Shut the f*ck up! It's the only way he's gonna eat!" Dave points at you with the spoon and Daniel makes a small growl of protest.

"Dah! Nah-ah!" He pulls at Dave's hand to catch his attention.

"I'm sorry, bug. Here, look. Nam, yum yum." He scoops up the last of the food and Daniel claps contently.

"Gah, gah!" He giggles and Dave pulls him out of the high chair.

"Yeah little dude, it's all gone! Good boy!" He nuzzles his neck and Daniel chirps with glee.

"Mmm... Kah yum yum!" He points at you and you stop laughing immediately. Dave whips his head to you with a smug look and wiggles his eyebrows.

"You want me to feed Karkat, Is that what you want?" Daniel nods enthusiastically and you shake your head.

"Nonono, f*ck no. No, Dave." You move away when he approaches you and Daniel makes a high pitched whine like he makes when he's about to cry. You both turn to look at him, his tiny hands are fisted, his lip is jutted out in a pout, face red with anger.

"Karkat, if you don't let me feed you little Dan is gonna be hells of mad." As if on cue, Daniel squeals again and you sigh. His temperament was honestly as bad as yours.

"Fine, go ahead." You groan as Dave smirks and picks up your fork.

"Open your mouth, babe." He says as he places the fork near your lips.

"Shut up you smug asshole."

"Don't open your mouth when you’re chewing."

"Bite me, dickface."

A/N: Back to Dave POV

Nights like these are wonderful. So quiet.

You walk out of the bathroom after pulling on a sleeveless black t-shirt. You look around the bathroom for your hoodie and frown when it's not there.

"Karkat have you seen- dude why?" He's wearing your hoodie.

"Because I can, so f*ck you." He says and you roll your eyes. Fine, you'll use him as your personal heater. You throw your shades on your night stand and flop on the bed and sigh.

You feel Karkat shuffle around the bed and hear him switch the light off.

Things had been nice recently, even considering all the bullsh*t you all had to put up with revolving the press and media. The bad part in all of this is that, if life has taught you anything, is that whenever life gives you lemons life also ends up throwing them in a shredder while you watch in utter horror as you lemon children die before you… Okay, maybe that’s not how the saying goes but it’s close enough.

“You’re thinking too loud.” Karkat grunts and turns on his side, throwing an arm across your chest and snuggling his face in the crook of your neck. You run your fingers through his messy tangles, trying to undo the knots of hair in the back but give up after a while. Karkat sighs and purrs at you. “It’s going to be okay, Dave.” He says as though he’s reading your mind.

“Is it? I feel like everything is going to come crashing down on us, like a f*cking brick wall is gonna leave us as flat as a pancake.” You close your eyes and rub your temple. Karkat hums and pats your stomach.

“It’s gonna leave us flatter than your human flat dessert, but we’ll get through it. It’s not going to be a goodbye, just an I’ll see you soon.” He kisses your neck and you feel your chest clench.

“I don’t want to go through that, not yet.”

“You won’t be alone, I’ll be with you.” He says in a hushed whisper. And somehow, even though you know this is going to hurt like a bitch, you’re going to face it head on because Karkat will be with you, and he’ll keep you going.

Chapter 23: Celebrate Good Times

Chapter Text

You are late, you are so so late and Karkat is going to have your head for being late. And on your only son’s birthday. What a tragedy! Who will your son look up to when he needs someone to teach him the basics of throwing down sick fires? He’ll have to ask help from the only people who know how to lay down wicked beats: Dirk or Tavros. f*ck man, you shiver in fear of what they will teach him. Maybe Kanaya can help him, she seems good at that troll slam poetry sh*t.

As you park outside Jane’s bakery, your phone goes off with “Cherry Oh Baby” by The Rolling Stones and you roll your eyes already knowing who it is, “Yo, this is Dave. What up?” You unbuckle yourself and step out of your car literally power walking towards the shop.

“Don’t you f*cking “what up” me, assf*ck. You’re so f*cking late you should’ve been her an hour ago where the hell are you?” Karkat blares through the phone, voices in the background.

“Got caught up at the studio. Did you know troll Beyoncé is a mutant blood, cause I didn’t f*ckin’ know. She wants to meet you by the way.” He says trying to distract him with some celebrity news.

“Of course I knew she was a mutant blood you organic sack with legs! She’s my favorite singer. I will discuss my meeting with Queen B later, stop changing the subject!” He yells and you have to move the phone away from your ear.

“I’m arriving at Jane’s, I’ll be there in 30 minutes or your pizza is free.”

“Just hurry up, Dave.” the line goes dead and you laugh as you go into the bakery. As you step into the shop, the small bell over the door rings and f*ck man, the smell is delicious.

“Yo Janey, where you at girl?” You walk to the counter and notice some cookies in a basket. One cookie, one dollar you read on the note. You decide to shove three down your mouth.

“Dave, you're late! Dirk said you’d be here an hour ago!” Jane walks through a back door with a white box.

“Fruck Dirf. I came as soof as i coulf!” you mumble as you chew another cookie. Jesus they were the chewiest, melting in your mouth. You could leave Karkar for these cookies.

“Yes, Karkat said you always arrive late. Funny, being the knight of time and all.” She places the box on the counter and you shove another cookie in your mouth.

“Former knight. I can’t keep up with all these time-based events, Jane. I just move one step at a time.” You shrug and pick another cookie out of the basket.

“So, Karkat gave me the details of what he wanted and I did everything he asked.” Jane says as she smiles and you nod.

“No chocolate?”

“None at all, Dave! Now that’ll be 36 dollars.”

“You said it’d be 26, why are you tryin’ to rip me off? Janey I’m hurt.” You clutch your chest and she giggles.

“One cookie, one dollar. You ate ten, twelve with those two in your hand but they’re on the house.” She winks as you hand her the money.

“Thanks, Crocker. You’re a doll.” You kiss her cheek and she shoves your shoulder. “See ya later, right?”

“Of course, Dave. Wouldn’t miss it for the world!” You smile at her and leave the shop to go straight to Dirk’s place.

You decided to throw the party at the English-Strider residence because they actually have a house with an actual backyard and all these domestic homey spaces. These things tend to be easier and way more fun with you can have a bouncy house and slip and slide to play in. Well, they would be more fun but Karkat said you’re not allowed in either. Party pooper.

You park around the corner of the house. Opening the trunk, you pull out two large boxes neatly wrapped by one Roxy Lalonde and set the white box over the other two. Sure, it leaves your vision range f*cking blocked but you can deal with it. If you trip, you’re sure you can dig your own grave before Karkat makes you.

You stumble into the front garden making sure to leave huge footprints because you know Dirk gets pissed. You push the wooden fence that leads to the backyard and stumble your way to the backyard.

“Chris cringle, Dave! How can you see with those blasted boxes in the way? Strider, go help your brother out!” You hear a shuffle behind the boxes as Jake moves around.

“He can handle it just fine, look at him.”

“Lift your bloody arse off that chair and go help you brother, Deidrick Strider!” You hear a muffled hit and suddenly the top box is lifted, clearing your vision field.

“He used my full name and punched me. I’m in awe.” Dirk lifts his eyebrows and smirks.

“You my sir, are whipped.” You say and Dirk only smirks.

“Dave? Is that Dave? Dave get your skinny ass in here, you are so going to get it!” You hear Karkat say with an annoyed tone.

“Coming, babe.” Dirk lifts an eyebrow at you, “Shut the f*ck up, man. This does not mean anything.”

“Sure it doesn’t.”

“Dude, I’m serious-”

“DAVE.” You glare at Dirk who chuckles and pulls the boxes from your arms and sets them on a decorated table.

You walk through the glass panel door and saunter into the kitchen where Karkat is cooking up one goddamn delicious smelling storm. His back is turned to you as he pulls a fork from Terezi’s hand and hands her a spoon.

“I knew it was a knife. Stupid knife...” She mutters as she starts to stir something.

“Kanaya, check the oven, I told you to check it as soon as- There you are!” He turns to you and wiggles a wooden spoon in your face. “Taste this, I’ve never made it before so I thought maybe you’d be a good judge.”

“You mean to tell me you made me drive like a f*cking insane asshat and shouted at me through a phone, all so I could taste some orangey-brown goop?”

“You drive like an asshat either way but yes, I can’t finish this apple pie if no one tastes the filling.” He says with a shrug.

“Karkat you could’ve made me get a speeding ticket or worse! I mean how irresponsible can you- Did you say apple?”you shove the goop in your mouth and hum in appreciation, “That’s so f*ckin’ delicious.” The apples are sweet and the cinnamon gives it a delicious spice and damn, how’d your alien boy learn how to cook like that?

“Is it alright?” He asks as he wipes at the corner of your mouth. You take his thumb and lick the excess off.

“f*cking perfect, so good. The Karkat flavour makes it even better.” He blushes and sputters, and turns around ignoring you.

“Knock it off, no bedroom talk in the kitchen.” Rose says as she walks out with a huge bowl of salad.

“Who’s doing bedroom what?” John walks out of some room and smiles at you. “Hey Dave, you’re late!”

“Yeah, why does everyone keep reminding me I’m late?” You roll your eyes and Karkat slides out of your reach. “I’m not done with you.” You try to pull him back and he swats your hand away but winks anyway, and wow, that just reminded you of how long you’ve stayed absent.

“Guys, you’re both so gross.” John lightly punches your arm.

“Yep, so gross. So anyway, happy anniversary, John. How’s it feel?” You smile at his confused face and pat his back.

“But it’s not my anniversary is it-”

“Of course it is! Today, one year ago you decided to lose your V card to the spider chick and proceeded to flip my life upside down! You should celebrate! Have a beer, get drunk!”

“I do not think John comprehended the joke on how his sexual escapade got us here.” Kanaya rolls her eyes at him and pats the top of his head, “Honestly, John I even understood it.” She smiles as you begin to laugh at John’s red face.

“Come on guys! Can we let this go? It’s been a year, aren’t you over it?”

“Sweetie, I’m not even over it. Hi Davey!” Roxy pats John's arm and skips over to kiss your cheek.

“Hey, Rolal. You bring your girl over this time?”

“Of course I did silly! She loves birthday parties, heh.” She jabs her finger behind her and you notice Calliope filling the present table with boxes and bags. “sh*t, Roxy! Did you guys bring enough presents?”

“I’m so sorry, Dave but I was not sure what to purchase so I decided to buy everything? Oh dear, I overdid myself didn’t I?” Calliope seems to glide across the wooden floor, her steps quick and light, her flower print dress flowing around her ankles. Her face is sweet and childlike and you understand why Daniel likes to talk to Calliope; she inspires trust and serenity.

“No, Callie. It’s all good though you really didn’t have to bring anything.”

“Nonsense! Presents are a must. Is Jane here yet?” She looks around and you shake your head.

“No, I saw her at the bakery and she might get here a little late. That might be my fault, cause as you know I was-”

“Late, I know Dave. Everyone said so.” She giggles and wow, too cute. Must protect child.
“Dave? Dave!” Roxy waves a hand in front of you and you blink.

“I’m sorry my brain froze into mush. Kinda like when you take a gulp from an ICEE and f*ck man, it just burns your brain and you’re like holy f*ck man why the heck did I do that but you do it again cause those sh*ts are filled with sugary deliciousness.”

“Right…” Roxy stretches the word and purses her lips.

“So why is there so much food?” Calliope says as Rose and Kanaya walk back out with what seems to be lasagna and roast beef.

“Good question, Callie. Yo, Karkat, is the whole city invited? Why so much food, man?” You look over your shoulder to see Karkat carrying out a plate full of different types of ham and cheese.

“Hardy har-har, Dave. No, everyone apparently decided to show up, so we made a lot of food. Food you should be helping to carry outside, so get to it.” He shoves a plate of cookies into your arms and points to the table outside.

“Sure, sure but when you mean everyone… Does that mean everyone?” Dirk throws an arm around your shoulders and gives you a sly grin.

“Hell yeah, bro. Your brother-in-law is also coming.” You groan and slump into a chair.

“Nooo, Karkat tell me dick is lying. Say it ain’t so.” You hold onto Karkat's wrist as he walks past you were he falls into your lap with a small “Oof!”

“Let go of me you bulgelick!” He struggles as you wrap your arms around his waist and pout.

“Please tell me Dirk is being his usually dick self.”

“Dirk is always a dick, no offense,” He tells Dirk who nods and shrugs, “But he’s not lying. They’re all coming.” He paps your cheek and you sigh.

“f*ck man. Somebody get me a box of AJ.” Karkat smiles and kisses your forehead but you’re gonna need a lot more than one kiss to get through the day with Kankri coming over.

“Somebody tell me when my son is going to get here.” You lift yourself from the table and leave the chatty version of Vriska talking with the colorful version of Tavros.

“Nepeta called and said they were around the corner.” Kanaya says as she turns away from Porrim and Rose.

“David! I was looking for you!” You look behind you and see a red sweater and a pair of nubby horns. Aw, f*ck no. Abort mission, abandon ship. Women and trolls first.

“Sup, Vantas. How’s it going?” You sigh and begrudgingly gaze down at him.

“I was wondering if I could speak to you privately, I don’t mind if your answer is no, I don’t wish to force upon you any decision that might make you uncomfortable. I know many of our friends tend to get a little unnerved when we speak together because I can be a little overbearing so if this in anyway causes you discomfort please do not hesitate to let me know and I can-”

“Holy f*ck, dude. Chill, breathe! It’s cool, just please keep it to a minimum.” You lift a hand to pat his shoulder and remember Kankri doesn’t like people touching him so you let your arm fall to your side.

“See, that? That is what I mean! You were about to give me a friendly pat on the shoulder as humans are accustomed to, am I not wrong? But since I am known for being reserved and try to avoid contact with humans or trolls for that matter, you decided against it. I understand that I come off as “pretentious” because of these behaviors.” He sighs and you lift an eyebrow. The dude seems really beaten up about it but you really don’t understand why.

“Come on dude, let’s go into the kitchen, I’m betting everyone has walked the f*ck out of there.” You let him lead the way and walk back into the house, not before seeing Karkat shoot you a curious glance to which you just shrug in response. “Sweet, we still got little juice pouches! So, what was it that you wanted to say?” You ask Kankri as you swipe another juice pouch out of the fridge. You turn to him and he’s absentmindedly playing with his necklace.

“What I’ve been trying to build up to is… Well you see, New Earth has taught me a great deal of things, many new subjects that I had yet to comprehend on Beforus, things I didn’t know existed. So now that I’ve actually had time to research and meet people, well I’ve learned an immense amount of concepts.” His voice shakes in a nervous manner and you eye him curiously.

“Kankri, dude you look like you’re about to pass out. You OK, bro?”

“Y-yes of course, why wouldn’t I be? I am in the best of-”

“Dude just, come on tell me whatever you need to tell me. No need to go on another rant.”

“Alright, yes,” he takes in a deep breath, “I’m going out with someone.” You sputter and spit all of your juice out because holy f*ck.

“Dude but I thought you had the whole vow thing going on for you.”

“Celibacy does not mean I cannot have a relationship.” He crosses his arms and looks away.

“No, yeah you’re totally right, dude. My bad. So the way I see it, you’re asexual? Am I getting that right?” You rub the back of your neck and he gives you a small smile.

“Yes, Dave, you are. It is one of the new concepts I learned about. Very interesting and it describes my feelings completely so I talked to a… “friend” about it and well, we agreed to the whole “human dating” keeping the uh, sexual things out of the equation.”

His face turns a bright shade of red and he can’t look you in the eyes (or shades), but you’re a bit surprised he told you before and not anyone else, so you voice this out. He nods and wrings his hands together, “Well the reason why I told you is that, I’d like to tell Karkat. He and I have had a rather… difficult relationship and I was hoping that speaking of this, as human brothers do, it would help us begin to take on a different path on how things have started?”

“Yeah dude, I mean, Dirk and I have talked about our personal sh*t so I guess that if you share this information with Karkat, he’ll feel less apprehensive towards you.” You say trying to encourage him. He gives you a curt nod and smiles, thanking you for your time and your left standing there in the kitchen with you juice pouch, feeling like you accomplished something but not exactly sure what it was.

Before you are able to analyze this new information, the door bell rings and you know your son is finally here. Call it paternal instinct… That, or maybe it’s because Karkat keeps screaming at you to “Open the goddamn door, your son is here!” Yeah maybe that’s it. Either way it’s finally time for you to enjoy a birthday party with your son and you can’t be more excited.

Things are good now. But things are going to get bad very soon, you just hope you’re finally ready to face it.

Chapter 24: The Last, First Goodbye

Chapter Text

When the time comes, Karkat doesn't cry. He's done enough of that for the past six weeks. To no one's surprise at all, you do.

It happens on a Friday. It's cold and cloudy. The clouds look heavy with rain but it doesn't look like they're ready to pour. You're cradling the baby in your arms, his breath is slowing as each minute passes and you can feel his life line being severed from your own time line. Karkat says he can feel the the small boy’s relationship line disintegrating from your own. You ask him how he knows and he says that his blood aspect lets him feel the bonds between people. You choke up and press the baby to your chest.

You keep walking from room to room. Dirk watches you closely, like if you're about to lose your sh*t in any second. Jake keeps looking at you and Karkat with sadness. John is standing in the corner of the room with his hands shoved in his pockets, head hanging in defeat.

In the other room you can hear Rose and Kanaya's whispers with Jade and Roxy.
Aradia's usually creepy smile was replaced for a somber look and that makes you feel even worse. Sollux and Terezi are rubbing Karkat's back lightly who in turn has the blankest expression you've ever seen on his face, he hasn’t looked at you once since you called Rose in a panic.

Roxy told you Calliope sends her regards and Jane sent over four dozen cookies because that's the only way she can convey her feelings. They're vanilla with red icing. Daniel's favorite…

And there you go again. You clutch the baby to your chest and cry with him as you sit on a chair in the corner of the room. Your throat feels like it's closing and you need air, holy f*ck you need to-

“Dave! Dave, come on bro let go of the baby. Come on, that's it.” Dirk prys your fingers open and scoops the little grub out of your arms. He hands him over to Jake who begins to pat him lightly cooing slowly.

That's when you notice your choking sounds and strangled sobs. Roxy is tearing up while looking at your face, Rose looks like someone stabbed her in the side. They're worried for you.
You're having a goddamn panic attack in the middle of your living room.

“Come on, bro. You need some air.” Dirk pulls you towards the balcony.

“It's raining outside.” Terezi says but when she looks over at you she says “I guess a little water won't hurt you.”

Karkat looks at you with wide eyes, searching yours. You nod at him slightly and he turns away.

Let's go, dude.” Dirk clasps your back and moves you towards the balcony. When he pushes it open the wind hits you with a gust. It hasn’t started to rain but it’s going to in any minute.
You don’t even let yourself walk too much before deciding to lean against the wall on you left, letting yourself slide down to the floor and hugging your legs to your chest like a scared kid.

You are scared though, you’re just not a kid anymore.

Dirk walks out and glances over at the broken metal fence that you still haven’t fixed since Daniel almost… He sits next to you and sighs while putting an arm around your shoulder. You tense at the contact and glance up to see his face. His face looks impassive and thoughtful.

“You know, the first time I saw you I wasn’t sure what to expect. You were hanging back and not really speaking to anybody. I had made up this idea of you in my head and I was afraid you’d think I was stupid but then you talked and I noticed you were a huge dork.” You snort but it breaks up into a choked sob. “You really need to work on your comforting skills, bro.”

“I wasn’t done speaking but I’ll make a mental note to check into that. Where was I? Oh right, huge dork. I wasn’t so nervous to speak to you even though you unloaded the whole traumatic childhood on me in the first fifteen minutes we met. Suddenly, I knew that my happy little family vision had been all wrong; it wasn’t me who was going to need all that love and care, it was you,”

“And dude, I was happy to be the one providing the role of the older brother. I was happy to be that person you had a connection with because you needed it and I needed it. When we came into this new world, I was determined to help you out on every way possible. When I found about the boy,” He pauses to gauge your reaction. You seem composed enough that he decided to continue.

“Dude I was afraid you’d hurt yourself with the way I saw you beating yourself up. You had this sh*tty vision of yourself and it was… bad, bro. Real bad. When Karkat came to me for help, I was afraid you had done something stupid.”

“I did do something stupid. I had a f*cking meltdown and broke a mirror.” You shake your head recalling those days.

“Yeah bro, but I thought… Well, you see I have this history of doing some crazy sh*t when I’m feeling bad so I thought you’d be like me. Thank god you weren’t.”

“You’re losing me on this whole heart-to-heart.” Dave sighs and his head hangs again.

“Yeah OK, my point is. I found out I didn’t give you enough credit before. I thought I’d have to take on the role of the responsible adult and look out for you since you seemed like a fragile kid but I was wrong. Surprising to no one since these days I’m all about being wrong… You are strong, Dave. You’ll get through this, dude. This isn’t the end, think about it like a demo. A free trial to let you know if you’re prepared for the real deal. Everythings going to be alright. You got your boyfriend, your friends and your family. It’ll work out dude. I promise.” You lean into his side and he pats your arm affectionately.

“Best bro award goes to Dirk Strider, ahhh.” You make the sounds of a cheering crowd and Dirk chuckles. You sigh, knowing that there’s precisely an hour and eleven minutes for something to happen.

Some rain drops begin to fall at one point and Dirk tells you it’s time to head in. You tell him you’re going to stay out here for a while. You can’t bare to go in knowing that the time is coming close.

“Hey, Dave… Are you going to stay out here while it rains? It’s getting um, pretty late.” Roxy peeks around the corner and gives you a sad smile.

“Huh? Oh, yeah Rox. Alright.” You get to your feet, feeling your heartbeat tick like seconds in your brain. You can feel the time counting down as you take your steps towards the living room. Like the last grains of sand falling from an hourglass, the last stroke of a bell until midnight, the last tick of a dying clock. Tick, tock, tick… Your footsteps feel heavy as you move, the voices of everyone sound far. You can only hear the slow beat of Daniel’s heart. Tick, tock… tick.

You lift your head in the moment the little grub turns into a bright green slime in Jake’s arms and then it falls to the ground into a puddle of ecto-slime. Your heart clenches and you feel like you’re going to fall, but Dirk catches you. You grip onto his shirt and let out a choked sound. In the back of the room, Karkat cries into Kanaya’s shoulder.

Thunder claps outside and the heavy storm finally breaks out.